Notes / Twisted Every Way

heya...today i went to the dentist...it was fun...for a cap and two anesthesia needles and a fight that would shake the grounds of...well...everywhere...here is the story...again...it is all my fault...i know, i know, i am a ovely person, and very bad things should happen to me...whatever let me continue with my story before you all start yelling...ill actually pause for you, my readers, to yell and throw things at me...well, here i go...

well today, i have to go to the dentist and pick up my checks (1500-1600 yay!)...when i realize i need someone with a phone to come at best...either that or a bunch of quarters...so i ask rori, she says no...i ask if steve might come she says she needs him for her italian song...the mrriage of figaro, dont speak italian all i know is that the song is about a bonnet and theres measuring involved...i was like aww crap cuz i need his phone...i guess i pushed it a little too hard...actually, i know i pushed it too hard...when ur an only child u tend to gain that ability i guess...but more on that little peice of philosophical psychology later...(side note..got a 92 on my psych quiz yay!)

well, i end up saying a joke which cut really deep but i figured it was funny...sarcasm...works in some instances not in this one...

(INSERT ALL OF THE AUDIENCES YELLING HERE...you will all have sore throats by the time i am done)

i was like i used to say u had no mean bones in ur body i guess i was wrong...(note to myself...i am not funny...repeat this maxim to yourself over and over again)

well the day goes by i run into steve and im like i was gonna ask u if u wanted to go to manhatten to pick up my checks and hes like sure ill go...then 6th rolls around and hes like rori needs me...i was like crap just lend me ur phone ill give it back...its his brand knew sidekick id i shoulda known better...

well, go to clover and ask rori again if she wants to go (i figured if she went so did the phone i mean steve the owner of the phone) she said no cuz she got into trouble for yesterday (my first officialdate with harris, had fun but it was a mized bag).., she says call harris, so i do...hes sick...poor harris ill send some cyber benadryl and ibuprofen

so i end up asking steve again and out of nowhere (at least to me) rori rushed out of the room and m like okay what just happened...steve hands me this letter from marina, basically addressing my issues and why me and harris piss her off so much...all i end up wanting to do is throw a chair at her...a really big chair...

(CUE INCESSANT YELLING...see isnt that fun?)

cuz isnt there a way to be nicer about that? seriously...personally when i give advice...when i was in a position to give it...i was nicer about it, cuz theres giving advice, and making a person feel sstupid...in yhe last fight, she actually told me, christine your been very very stupid and if he hurts you again ill never talk to you anymore...please...ive given her advice she hasnt taken (prolly cuz i have no life experience) and i would never desert her, if she took it or not, because friendship isnt taken advice to me...i think thats the only thing i can argue with, every other aspect i am dead wrong

im off the subject...my bad

well back to it...well at this point i am painfully upset, cuz i act the same with steve as i do with jimmy and sheets...steve is going down to meet rori and i have to go in that same direction...i have the letter in my hand and im like rori i read ur note its nice to see what u really think of me...i dont think she heard that but she definately was mad at me...and when rori is mad u know you have done something absolutely terrible...

(YELL NOW AGAIN...would u like a soothing throat lozenge?)

well as i am on my way to columbus circle to pick up my mullah i end up writing a very very long letter to vent...like six seven pages...its almost done but not quite...im not sending it, the last thing i want is my friends mad at me...AGAIN...

then i get my money...i liked the amount in total...around 1600 yay!...then i bought a small carribean passion smoothie from jamba juice...after that i felt better...it had energy boost in it too so by the time i get to the dentist with my mom im wide awake...that guaranas better than caffiene (which reminds me, marcus is back in florida...and i have his stuff...he had diabetes...type 2....who knew?)...they cap my tooth and my mom gets a filling and i laugh cuz apparentl they fund another cavity in the tooth next to that one...who am i kidding one tooth in my mouth is fake! it was my favorite tooth too...(cuz there was a big circular hle in it...i thought it was a birthmark not a giant cavity that spells death for my tooth)...

we run into my aunt on the way out and my mom fills her in on my date with harris...she thinks its cute and she tells her all the stories she has on his...well...slight ineptness at dating (who am i kidding im prolly worse) my aunt and her were laughing about it...so was i a bit it was weir but when u gotta save face...

cut to when i get home...i get my phone, half expeecting an angry text from either steve or marina...i am not dissapointed...a text from marina is sitting in my inbox...it told me that she wrote the letter not rori (i knew that) and was an abridged version of her letter...at this point i am numb in part of my mouth and inexplicably upset so im like i knew that i dont blame rori in fact i was gonna say u were absolutely right do u think im like that?

she replies no but rori said that u thought it was her well it wasnt it was me ( i am paraphrasing i am getting what i meant and the meaning i evoked from marinas messages)

im like i never said it was her i said its nice to see what my friends really think of me and btw i was lookign for ppl whith phones had i known u were at school today i would made u deal wiht me 2...

next thing i know the girl calls me and shes starting with let me say just one thing...

(YELL PREMATURELY...)

i let her talk for a little bit and then im just like marina..i get it, i do...and i understand ur intentions but be a little nicer about it...she says oh but im jst trying to tell u the truth...i interrupt her and im like theres telling someone the truth and then theres making a person feel so stupid and so damn small...personally when i give advicei try to spare the persons feelings u didnt do that ive taken your point but uve made me feel like absolute crap...

at thi point i have tears strwming down my cheeks and im fighting to keep my voice level...she ends up saying i didnt mean it like that...i just end up saying i have to go talk to you tomorrow and hang up...

well thats my story...

on to lighter news...

went to see brooklyn college yesterday...its lovely, i wanna go there so bad, and the bet part is it doesnt break my mom finantially...yay!...although to te student tour guide i am weird frog girl and the cheater...when someone asks whos depicted in a statue the resourceful thing to do is look at the plaque...he caught me but allowed me to say the answer...im not a cheater i am resourceful...

went on the date with harris (rori and steve doubled with us)...we saw mr woodcock, harris bought way too much popcorn and a sudoku book with steves money (which btw has nothing to do with the present conflict ppl!)..i end up telling harris about my weakness for greek mythology...i wanted this helen of troy book so damn bad...lol

oh and in english class me and two out of the three jennifers in the class are doing a talk show out of frankenstein...its called the frak and stein show and its a episode on neglected kids and their parents and i am frankensteins monster and i have to be dramatic and stuff...lots of fun lol...

well thats it...this has to be the longest one yet...

byebye

The Phantom Of The Opera

hey,sorry for my long hiatus, just with school and everything its been kinda hard to be on top of this like i should be...anyhoo, my classes lowdown

i start third...finally...

3rd- ap english literature (steve wants this class so bad and with good reason he deserves it)
4th- health...sheets is here with me so is karen its actually fun
5th- independent study math...really program office slavery, i mean service
6th- ap psychology...really fun, not what i expected, but still what i expected
7th- clover...need i say more?

2nd i have college office service...themost beneficial job to a senior

and after school i have swimming

two days ago i saw the phantom of the opera on broadway...(loving ms paybarah)...it was awesome...orchestra seats...we were able to see the whites of the actors' eyes...loved the actors performances

harris, rori, steve, sheets, and my mom came...it was fun i had a smoothie afterward...

but the show made me realize something...maybe i love phantom of the opera so much because it reminds me so much of my own life of late...considering the main female bears my name, has some physical characteristics that we both share (curlybrown hair, pale skin, an interest in music...hers is talent mine is just randomness)...take this

joey and jimmy just started doing better,and in turn, me and jimmy were actually back to normal (i had regained "poofy" status)...then harris does something kinda stupid, jimmy gets mad...like, really mad...and my name gets brought back into their conflict, which was really mine and harris's conflict...then when i decided forgiveness was the better way, everyone goes ballistic, except harris i guess, at least his wasnt on me...in the end, one thirteen year friendship got ruined, rori bursted into tears, marina showed up at harris's doorstep with a knife, sheets almost left us...all my fault...partly harris's but mostly mine...if i hadnt started this six months ago when i gave into my feelings for harris (not that i regret that in any way, i love harris with mostly everything i have to give) , jimmy wwouldnt have sank into suicidal depression and gotten back on the drugs again...apparenly he hasnt slept for about a week now...

can you believe it? the first time i make a desision that was good for me...something that would make me happy without the benefit (or deficit) of making everyone around me happy...the whole world gets turned upside down...my whole world go turned upside down...and the sucky thing is...its kinda like a snowglobe...this whole thing...it got all shaken up, and the snow peices were just falling back peacefully onto the snowglobe's floor...and then without warning, the blizzard just starts back up again...

who shakes that snowglobe? fate? or is it just me...is it just me making my mistakes and trying to right my wrongs that shakes up the snowglobe that is my life...