heyhey...this is my last fun thing before i subject myself to torture by college application......
update on jimmy situation...he isnt talking to me anymore...which is fine by me, let him do what he wants, but he made sheets tell me about what was going on...he was ignorng me all that first day and refused to acknowledge me...to me that was a bit childish, but whatever, ive done him worse...to be honest i expected a lot better from him...but cometo think of it, the guy ripped out harris's name from a cheesecake cabaret advertisement....when i saw that i was like WOW...the only time he acknowledged my existance was to pry the paper out of my hands...i have done him much worse...so ill take whatever he has to throw at me...lord knows this was very long overdue...so if jimmy does read this...i say bring it on...i just wish things could be the same again...before everything happened...
rori got the phantom of the opera solo. im happy for her, no doubt, but im actually quite crushed... really wanted that solo,but i figure its cuz she likes rori and harris better...you should have seen their reccomedations from her...she loves them...mine was okay, but sternlieb needs more from me...thats how mediocre i looked...i hate being the mediocre one...especially when i try...i talked to rori a bit about this today, apparenty all she wanted was one little part in the song...i got meg...this tiny itty bitty solo...i know its sort of an honor, considering thats the only girl solo left, but...im still kinda mad...i was actively angling for that one...then when harris finds out, hes all like im sorry...and he took me not talking at all to mean i was taking out my anger on poor undeserving old him...then when i confided in steve, he told rori and i think she was crying...he was all guilttripping her...whihc made me mad, come to think of it, hes guiting her for doing something that not only is she good at, but something he makes her do. regularly...i waslike damn...im still a bit bummed about the solo, but ill get over it...i got over the italian one last year that liza got...it helped that i did that solo more than she did...heh...thats not gonna happen with this one...the thing was that she knew i wanted this solo, everyone did...whatever...according to harris, theyll be other ones...that shell give to other people...heh...shell give them to people like rori and either liza and sophie...good people...which i dont fit into because i dont rift well, and im not the bionic voice (sorry rori, but u d go insanely high and i didnt have an expression) and im not this wonderful person who works well with her prodigy, her pride and joy, carlton...pooh...liza wont work with anybody else lol...thats really diva of her...
harris might do a song with me...it was the song nobody wanted and i was lucky enough to get before the powers that be scrapped it altogether...i actually liked it, so it wasnt too bad...i just feel like im being judged simply because i was on the team when i was supposed to be singing or something...lol...i know it seems farfetched, but whatever...i just dont want to be mediocre anymore...im sick of it...
paybarah looked over my common application essay...she said it was really good, and only did minor things to it...i was thinking shed overhaul the thing, but nope, she liked it...i was like wow...coolness...anyhow...
im installing a new version of aim...
im done with this blog...
oh and me and sheets are no longer writing the book...we were fighting like hell over it...hes proposing a rewrite, but we gotta agree on things first before it goes into the book...and i cant do funnystuff...that was what started the fight which led to sheets ripping up the book and wasting paper...
sometimes i think im a horrible person...i wish somebody could tell me different and id actually believe it...
bye
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