Tuesday, December 11, 2007

I Need You To Love Me / Tourniquet

you know, the one thing that hits my heart in a good way that, oh idk, actually works (at least with my boyfriend, no other guy better do this...) is a better than decent kiss...im realizing this more and more...im coming to terms with the fact that maybe i need lots and lots of hugs and crap...

oh and sorry for taking so long, college applications are driving me crazy...i applied to cuny honors and the kings college, now i need suny purchase, harvard, wellesley, nyu tisch, adelphi, and st. lawrence...

just read sheets' blog...after a very long talk with him, i am really starting to worry about him...he puts on this smile, but he never seems happy...not even rent does it anymore...he just seems really down...and hes worrying me a lot...he finally told me whats been bothering him...and i wont disclose it here, thats his business...but seriously...i really want him to be happy, and right now, he seems like hes anything but...i hope he gets better soon, and that he would be able to smle without it having anything to do with the ever breaking mask...

me nd harris had our first fight in a while today...its over now, refuse to rehash...

i miss how me and harris were before...the way we used to be...i was way more naive, and he was a bit more..i wont go there...but it was nice...now schools started, and were both busy i guess...and its worrisome when you spend more time with ur boyfriend, but not talking to him than you do actually talking to him...its nearly frightening...i just want it the way it used to be...

well, maybe life cant be as it was...maybe, just maybe, i gotta let go of this crap, deal wiht the fact that we all grow up and drift and stuff...i guess sometimes i kinda wanna go back to the way things were...i hope, but it prolly wont happen...so im just going to let this one go...

i hope sheets is okay...

bye everyone

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