i have no real idea why, but i just came up with the weirdest idea...to help get over charlie being dead, and to work out some of the kinks in my writing...a fanfiction, but not just any fanfiction...a CROSSOVER fanfiction...i always said id never write one of those, but i think itll help...i have this idea...the lost characters meet the RENT characters in this humorous therapy session where everybody yells at each other...its the addicts versus the sober people...if i can work in LotR or another musical itll be cool 2...hitchhikers and PotC would be pushing it...ill tell sheets about this when i see him...im pretty sure he would wanna help me with it...
if anything, if i get too many ideas, ill start another blog or something...
thatll be fun...
anyhoo...i feel like writing...i have no idea why...im suffering from writers block on the book me and sheets are working on, and either way, i dont have the thing on me...any and all original plot concepts coming from me are crap...either absolute crap or a shameless rip off of something else...and i wouldnt wanna write a shameless rip off...lol
i wish i could put my ideas down somewhere safe, at least the literary ones...like ive had a bunch of ideas for the book, but i forget them...plus, its the future of the book...i cant come p with a decent chpter seven...sheets has the book maybe i can read what he has, and i have been so looking forward to that chapter...
i can do a decent character design if anything...i should go do that...
illl edit this post later...byers...its 4 in the morning ud figure id be sleeping.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
hey guys...never actually said merry christmas to you all...merry christmas...
currently at ginies house, watching the funniest commercial thing they have on tivo...the funniest one is this squirrel farting thing from the united kingdom advertising icy gum...i thought the kevin federline thing where he was watching himselfrap while working at a fast food joint was the funniest..that and the beer commercial in which they pick up axe murderers and chainsaw people because they have beer...
now we are all trying to help create a baby that could win the baby new year tounament on the wii...the baby came out pretty nicely...
ginie, without meaning to, picked a fight with sheets...he was trying to help with the wii, and ginie was a bit less receptive to the help than she shouldve been i guess...
anyhoo...now im watching them shop for wii things on the wii...they bought the photo channel...i might get ginie wii points for her birthday lol...that way she can get cool old games and stuff...i should get sheets that too...ill find out when sammys birthday is and get it for them...
i want a wii too...if only i had time to play one...if only my family didnt think i was too old for video games...they have no problem with the guys in their late twenties playing them, but when it comes to teenage girls, then no its taboo...double standards anyone...anyhoo...
i really want a psp...really really badly...it may be prehistoric in comparison to other gaming systems, but i love them, and i dont know where mine is, and i could just get one of those, i be really happy, and i wouldnt need another gaming system...i hate consoles anyway, i like things that i can hold in my hand and take with me, ala the psp and the ds...he wii and the ps2 and the xbox arent so bad either, but u cant walk around with those inconspicously...
idk what im doing for new years...i wanna hang out with my friends, but something tells me i wont be able to..
hang on
justplayed wii bowling...143...coolness...
kk bye
currently at ginies house, watching the funniest commercial thing they have on tivo...the funniest one is this squirrel farting thing from the united kingdom advertising icy gum...i thought the kevin federline thing where he was watching himselfrap while working at a fast food joint was the funniest..that and the beer commercial in which they pick up axe murderers and chainsaw people because they have beer...
now we are all trying to help create a baby that could win the baby new year tounament on the wii...the baby came out pretty nicely...
ginie, without meaning to, picked a fight with sheets...he was trying to help with the wii, and ginie was a bit less receptive to the help than she shouldve been i guess...
anyhoo...now im watching them shop for wii things on the wii...they bought the photo channel...i might get ginie wii points for her birthday lol...that way she can get cool old games and stuff...i should get sheets that too...ill find out when sammys birthday is and get it for them...
i want a wii too...if only i had time to play one...if only my family didnt think i was too old for video games...they have no problem with the guys in their late twenties playing them, but when it comes to teenage girls, then no its taboo...double standards anyone...anyhoo...
i really want a psp...really really badly...it may be prehistoric in comparison to other gaming systems, but i love them, and i dont know where mine is, and i could just get one of those, i be really happy, and i wouldnt need another gaming system...i hate consoles anyway, i like things that i can hold in my hand and take with me, ala the psp and the ds...he wii and the ps2 and the xbox arent so bad either, but u cant walk around with those inconspicously...
idk what im doing for new years...i wanna hang out with my friends, but something tells me i wont be able to..
hang on
justplayed wii bowling...143...coolness...
kk bye
Thursday, December 27, 2007
You All Everybody
i am so sad
first, let me start with my christmas, which is connected to why i am sad...its not that bad, nobodys dying...(bursts into tears)
charlie on lost is dead...the title of this blog is the song that his band sings...
"you all everybody, you all everybody
acting like there stupid people wearing expensive clothes"
thats the only lyric they play...but whtever its still very very sad to me...
he drowns saving everybody...he clears up a transmission jam, which involves him getting drownded...they said theyd never kill him off...the spoiler people and the writers lied to me...they killed off my favorite hobbit...my LOTR loyalty has sprung up again...i so wish i had the time to be totally loyal as i was before...stupd apps...which should be getting done today...
well, turns out the rescuers arent who they say they are, and they never would of had proof of that had charlie not written on his hand with a sharpie marker to get the message out to desmond...he didnt need to die...allhe needed to do was close the door on the other side...and he woulda been fine...they woulda made it ...but stupid desmond telling him he was gonna die for like half the season, of course hed sacrifice himself...now claires gonna be all sad when she finds out...
idk why they cut him...perhaps they thought theyd developed him enough...maybe his death will lead to claire being developed more...that would be good...im still sad tho...he was a rockstar...albiet a drug addicted one...but whatever...
the sad thing is...im sad, and no one cares...just cuz lost is a bit hard to follow, nobody really watches it, and nobody cares when im nearly in tears from grief...even if it is a very dumb thing to cry over...hey, u guys cried over rent, i deserve to grieve as well...if u guys wanted to grienve over a character uve followed since u started high school dies...idso be there for ya...
oh well...i have checked online...none on why charlie died...maybe a new job or something, but im sure hes dead as a doornail, and its a bit essential to the plot...as he essentially paved the way for these people called freighters (they were on a frieghter boat) who are giving them rescue...some are leaving and some are staying...as far as the world knows, kate and jack leave, but jack kinda spirals down into oblivion and vicodin addiction...doctor on vicodin...like we havent heard that before...lol...i think hurley is leaving too, and if sun and jin dont leave ill be mad, considering sun is pregnant...
well, considering my friends dont care about this show...imma stop talking about it...it would take days to explain anyway...oh well...
RIP Charlie
byers
first, let me start with my christmas, which is connected to why i am sad...its not that bad, nobodys dying...(bursts into tears)
charlie on lost is dead...the title of this blog is the song that his band sings...
"you all everybody, you all everybody
acting like there stupid people wearing expensive clothes"
thats the only lyric they play...but whtever its still very very sad to me...
he drowns saving everybody...he clears up a transmission jam, which involves him getting drownded...they said theyd never kill him off...the spoiler people and the writers lied to me...they killed off my favorite hobbit...my LOTR loyalty has sprung up again...i so wish i had the time to be totally loyal as i was before...stupd apps...which should be getting done today...
well, turns out the rescuers arent who they say they are, and they never would of had proof of that had charlie not written on his hand with a sharpie marker to get the message out to desmond...he didnt need to die...allhe needed to do was close the door on the other side...and he woulda been fine...they woulda made it ...but stupid desmond telling him he was gonna die for like half the season, of course hed sacrifice himself...now claires gonna be all sad when she finds out...
idk why they cut him...perhaps they thought theyd developed him enough...maybe his death will lead to claire being developed more...that would be good...im still sad tho...he was a rockstar...albiet a drug addicted one...but whatever...
the sad thing is...im sad, and no one cares...just cuz lost is a bit hard to follow, nobody really watches it, and nobody cares when im nearly in tears from grief...even if it is a very dumb thing to cry over...hey, u guys cried over rent, i deserve to grieve as well...if u guys wanted to grienve over a character uve followed since u started high school dies...idso be there for ya...
oh well...i have checked online...none on why charlie died...maybe a new job or something, but im sure hes dead as a doornail, and its a bit essential to the plot...as he essentially paved the way for these people called freighters (they were on a frieghter boat) who are giving them rescue...some are leaving and some are staying...as far as the world knows, kate and jack leave, but jack kinda spirals down into oblivion and vicodin addiction...doctor on vicodin...like we havent heard that before...lol...i think hurley is leaving too, and if sun and jin dont leave ill be mad, considering sun is pregnant...
well, considering my friends dont care about this show...imma stop talking about it...it would take days to explain anyway...oh well...
RIP Charlie
byers
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
One Song Glory
hey...play season is just around the corner...the hapiest time of the year for me is being wrecked by my chorus teacher, a sophomore, and some very disloyal auditioners,not to mention the man pixking west side story
apparently, harris, rori, and I are unworthy of the parts we want because of our specific idiosyncracies, and the fact that she wants her sophomore, her lackey...to get maria...leaving some perfectly deserving senios out in the cold.
according to ms taskova...harris cant get tony because hes too short for the part (meanwhile hes taller than me, so if i get maria, the part i want, thats not an issue, but knowing my luck...)...my theory is that her pick for maria, liza rivera, happens to be taller than he is...and taskova wont have the untraditional look of a girl taller than a guy...
im not sure why i couldnt get it..im puerto rican, i look ethnic...maybe liza the sophomore simply got there first...whe i asked taskova about casting, and she asked me what i was trying out for...i said maria (prolly with a little more sttitude than i meant to...i really was playing nicely...)...she immeadiately directed me to the next part, anita...which still isnt bad, but annelis is angling for it...she was in pippin two years ago...she already graduated...which isnt right give us a chance...
rori's little review was the worst...which surprised me, taskovas always liked her better. she told taskova she wanted maria, like i did (im so not getting it)...the range is perfect for her, and taskova made a note to tell her this....but then she made it clear to her that rori's extraction will prevent her from getting the part she can do (and actually deserves)...in short? rori's too white to play a just off the plane puerto rican complete with accent (she can do it, too, her brit is pretty good, i can imagine her spanish accent is up to par too)...we were LIVID...
needless to say...we arent too happy...i asked about sheets todaqy too...she didnt say anything at all..not ure what that means...but sheets, ur like the best actor i know, and if you think anything different, u really shouldnt.
rori consulted annelis...annelis agreed...if i were closer to her, id yell at her so much it isnt funny...i know rori and them all are close to her and im kinda not, but DAMN...
well, considering the origin of how west side story is being done in the first place...it was picked as a way todraw in hispanics....please...im hispanic and i hae this show...ive asked other hispanics and they hate this show...
anyhoo...thats it...oh and me and sheets are writing again...we got another book and were planning before we write...
bye
this is our last chance to show what we got....i hope we get to keep it...
apparently, harris, rori, and I are unworthy of the parts we want because of our specific idiosyncracies, and the fact that she wants her sophomore, her lackey...to get maria...leaving some perfectly deserving senios out in the cold.
according to ms taskova...harris cant get tony because hes too short for the part (meanwhile hes taller than me, so if i get maria, the part i want, thats not an issue, but knowing my luck...)...my theory is that her pick for maria, liza rivera, happens to be taller than he is...and taskova wont have the untraditional look of a girl taller than a guy...
im not sure why i couldnt get it..im puerto rican, i look ethnic...maybe liza the sophomore simply got there first...whe i asked taskova about casting, and she asked me what i was trying out for...i said maria (prolly with a little more sttitude than i meant to...i really was playing nicely...)...she immeadiately directed me to the next part, anita...which still isnt bad, but annelis is angling for it...she was in pippin two years ago...she already graduated...which isnt right give us a chance...
rori's little review was the worst...which surprised me, taskovas always liked her better. she told taskova she wanted maria, like i did (im so not getting it)...the range is perfect for her, and taskova made a note to tell her this....but then she made it clear to her that rori's extraction will prevent her from getting the part she can do (and actually deserves)...in short? rori's too white to play a just off the plane puerto rican complete with accent (she can do it, too, her brit is pretty good, i can imagine her spanish accent is up to par too)...we were LIVID...
needless to say...we arent too happy...i asked about sheets todaqy too...she didnt say anything at all..not ure what that means...but sheets, ur like the best actor i know, and if you think anything different, u really shouldnt.
rori consulted annelis...annelis agreed...if i were closer to her, id yell at her so much it isnt funny...i know rori and them all are close to her and im kinda not, but DAMN...
well, considering the origin of how west side story is being done in the first place...it was picked as a way todraw in hispanics....please...im hispanic and i hae this show...ive asked other hispanics and they hate this show...
anyhoo...thats it...oh and me and sheets are writing again...we got another book and were planning before we write...
bye
this is our last chance to show what we got....i hope we get to keep it...
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Complicated
entering day two of the big giant fight....my e still isnt working too well...still depressed...can probably predict correctly that he either isnt depressed or that he simply doesnt giv a crap what i think about anything....
i wonder what id tell somebody in this situation...judging by my very pessimistic outlook on relationships,id prolly tell hr to maybe to let him go, cuz h doesnt rspecct whatyou say, and no matter what anybody tells you, you feel that way for a reason, and that reason should be respected...
woul i heed my own advice?
on the one hand, he doesnt seem to see that my opinion means something to me, that my stubbornness tends to have a method to it, that it makes sense to me...he didnt wanna see me on my anniversary, because he fears drama...ironically, hes in the drama club...thats rich....lol...on top of that, he confirmed everything i thought about myself during that weird physicality stage...that i was boring and despite everything he told me, i was horrible at everything, which was all his idea to begin with...does that make sense to me?
(now my e is fixed, but my d isnt doing too well)
on the other hand...i love him...thats all i can really say about it...and never before have i doubted the reciprocation more than i have right now...
i practically cried myself to sleep yesterday...is that sad? do i make what he says more important than it should be? if thats true, then why do i care so much? why does what he says hurt me so much?
u know, rori and sheets realized it was coming...but they didnt wanna tell me cuz they figured i was actually having fun on my anniversary...then when tht horrible comment came out...an i started reasoning with sheets, he told me (according to him, harris doesnt trust him anymore...sry sheets)
then we got to sheets house...where steve got there...steves a freaking instigator but hes coolness...
then my dad came to pick me up, an harris barely said goodbye to me (come to think ofit that makes sense,considering he didnt wanna see me in the first place...)
im an idiot...a long suffering idiot...but why couldnt he tell me he didnt wanna see me? i was gonna go driving yesterday...why the hell wouldnt he just tell me that? i woulda been sad, but not nearly this bad...cuz i was gonna go behind a wheel...and drive on the sidewalk again...
hes made an art of making me cry my eyes out...
the questiion is how much can i take of being pulled in, then pushed away...how much more am i willing to endure to be with a guy i love...
well if he breaks up with me, he better do it in person...all i have to say on that...
does love negate mistreatment?
not that he hits me or anything lol...its just torture, the things he says sometimes...why is it always my fault?
i know im not getting answers to these questions...
its freakin pointless isnt it?
oh well
i wonder what id tell somebody in this situation...judging by my very pessimistic outlook on relationships,id prolly tell hr to maybe to let him go, cuz h doesnt rspecct whatyou say, and no matter what anybody tells you, you feel that way for a reason, and that reason should be respected...
woul i heed my own advice?
on the one hand, he doesnt seem to see that my opinion means something to me, that my stubbornness tends to have a method to it, that it makes sense to me...he didnt wanna see me on my anniversary, because he fears drama...ironically, hes in the drama club...thats rich....lol...on top of that, he confirmed everything i thought about myself during that weird physicality stage...that i was boring and despite everything he told me, i was horrible at everything, which was all his idea to begin with...does that make sense to me?
(now my e is fixed, but my d isnt doing too well)
on the other hand...i love him...thats all i can really say about it...and never before have i doubted the reciprocation more than i have right now...
i practically cried myself to sleep yesterday...is that sad? do i make what he says more important than it should be? if thats true, then why do i care so much? why does what he says hurt me so much?
u know, rori and sheets realized it was coming...but they didnt wanna tell me cuz they figured i was actually having fun on my anniversary...then when tht horrible comment came out...an i started reasoning with sheets, he told me (according to him, harris doesnt trust him anymore...sry sheets)
then we got to sheets house...where steve got there...steves a freaking instigator but hes coolness...
then my dad came to pick me up, an harris barely said goodbye to me (come to think ofit that makes sense,considering he didnt wanna see me in the first place...)
im an idiot...a long suffering idiot...but why couldnt he tell me he didnt wanna see me? i was gonna go driving yesterday...why the hell wouldnt he just tell me that? i woulda been sad, but not nearly this bad...cuz i was gonna go behind a wheel...and drive on the sidewalk again...
hes made an art of making me cry my eyes out...
the questiion is how much can i take of being pulled in, then pushed away...how much more am i willing to endure to be with a guy i love...
well if he breaks up with me, he better do it in person...all i have to say on that...
does love negate mistreatment?
not that he hits me or anything lol...its just torture, the things he says sometimes...why is it always my fault?
i know im not getting answers to these questions...
its freakin pointless isnt it?
oh well
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Hurt / Break Down!
hey...happy nine month anniversary to me! (btw my e isnt working too well today bear with my typing...
well, it wasnt such a happy anniversary com to think of it...considering the guy i love didnt wanna see me today, and all the crap we did over the summer...believe me you dont wanna know...i was apparently horrible at it...all of it...he wasnt too specific on that point but i do believe he meant absolutly awful...and that hurt to no degree...
the horrible thing he took right to my face...th not wanting to see me thiing cam from sheets...damn hes been the best friend ever lately...well anyhow...since i found out harris hasnt spoken to me since...which hurts more...the waiting for a responce to all of this...
idk what to do anymore...i love harris with most everything i have...but i dont think its enough anymore...
how much do you give before you break?
how much can i tak before he hurts me to a point when i might not b able to forgive him for it?
and most importantly
how much does he hate and blame me?
well, it wasnt such a happy anniversary com to think of it...considering the guy i love didnt wanna see me today, and all the crap we did over the summer...believe me you dont wanna know...i was apparently horrible at it...all of it...he wasnt too specific on that point but i do believe he meant absolutly awful...and that hurt to no degree...
the horrible thing he took right to my face...th not wanting to see me thiing cam from sheets...damn hes been the best friend ever lately...well anyhow...since i found out harris hasnt spoken to me since...which hurts more...the waiting for a responce to all of this...
idk what to do anymore...i love harris with most everything i have...but i dont think its enough anymore...
how much do you give before you break?
how much can i tak before he hurts me to a point when i might not b able to forgive him for it?
and most importantly
how much does he hate and blame me?
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
I Need You To Love Me / Tourniquet
you know, the one thing that hits my heart in a good way that, oh idk, actually works (at least with my boyfriend, no other guy better do this...) is a better than decent kiss...im realizing this more and more...im coming to terms with the fact that maybe i need lots and lots of hugs and crap...
oh and sorry for taking so long, college applications are driving me crazy...i applied to cuny honors and the kings college, now i need suny purchase, harvard, wellesley, nyu tisch, adelphi, and st. lawrence...
just read sheets' blog...after a very long talk with him, i am really starting to worry about him...he puts on this smile, but he never seems happy...not even rent does it anymore...he just seems really down...and hes worrying me a lot...he finally told me whats been bothering him...and i wont disclose it here, thats his business...but seriously...i really want him to be happy, and right now, he seems like hes anything but...i hope he gets better soon, and that he would be able to smle without it having anything to do with the ever breaking mask...
me nd harris had our first fight in a while today...its over now, refuse to rehash...
i miss how me and harris were before...the way we used to be...i was way more naive, and he was a bit more..i wont go there...but it was nice...now schools started, and were both busy i guess...and its worrisome when you spend more time with ur boyfriend, but not talking to him than you do actually talking to him...its nearly frightening...i just want it the way it used to be...
well, maybe life cant be as it was...maybe, just maybe, i gotta let go of this crap, deal wiht the fact that we all grow up and drift and stuff...i guess sometimes i kinda wanna go back to the way things were...i hope, but it prolly wont happen...so im just going to let this one go...
i hope sheets is okay...
bye everyone
oh and sorry for taking so long, college applications are driving me crazy...i applied to cuny honors and the kings college, now i need suny purchase, harvard, wellesley, nyu tisch, adelphi, and st. lawrence...
just read sheets' blog...after a very long talk with him, i am really starting to worry about him...he puts on this smile, but he never seems happy...not even rent does it anymore...he just seems really down...and hes worrying me a lot...he finally told me whats been bothering him...and i wont disclose it here, thats his business...but seriously...i really want him to be happy, and right now, he seems like hes anything but...i hope he gets better soon, and that he would be able to smle without it having anything to do with the ever breaking mask...
me nd harris had our first fight in a while today...its over now, refuse to rehash...
i miss how me and harris were before...the way we used to be...i was way more naive, and he was a bit more..i wont go there...but it was nice...now schools started, and were both busy i guess...and its worrisome when you spend more time with ur boyfriend, but not talking to him than you do actually talking to him...its nearly frightening...i just want it the way it used to be...
well, maybe life cant be as it was...maybe, just maybe, i gotta let go of this crap, deal wiht the fact that we all grow up and drift and stuff...i guess sometimes i kinda wanna go back to the way things were...i hope, but it prolly wont happen...so im just going to let this one go...
i hope sheets is okay...
bye everyone
Monday, November 19, 2007
Why Can't We Be Friends? / Under Pressure
heyhey...this is my last fun thing before i subject myself to torture by college application......
update on jimmy situation...he isnt talking to me anymore...which is fine by me, let him do what he wants, but he made sheets tell me about what was going on...he was ignorng me all that first day and refused to acknowledge me...to me that was a bit childish, but whatever, ive done him worse...to be honest i expected a lot better from him...but cometo think of it, the guy ripped out harris's name from a cheesecake cabaret advertisement....when i saw that i was like WOW...the only time he acknowledged my existance was to pry the paper out of my hands...i have done him much worse...so ill take whatever he has to throw at me...lord knows this was very long overdue...so if jimmy does read this...i say bring it on...i just wish things could be the same again...before everything happened...
rori got the phantom of the opera solo. im happy for her, no doubt, but im actually quite crushed... really wanted that solo,but i figure its cuz she likes rori and harris better...you should have seen their reccomedations from her...she loves them...mine was okay, but sternlieb needs more from me...thats how mediocre i looked...i hate being the mediocre one...especially when i try...i talked to rori a bit about this today, apparenty all she wanted was one little part in the song...i got meg...this tiny itty bitty solo...i know its sort of an honor, considering thats the only girl solo left, but...im still kinda mad...i was actively angling for that one...then when harris finds out, hes all like im sorry...and he took me not talking at all to mean i was taking out my anger on poor undeserving old him...then when i confided in steve, he told rori and i think she was crying...he was all guilttripping her...whihc made me mad, come to think of it, hes guiting her for doing something that not only is she good at, but something he makes her do. regularly...i waslike damn...im still a bit bummed about the solo, but ill get over it...i got over the italian one last year that liza got...it helped that i did that solo more than she did...heh...thats not gonna happen with this one...the thing was that she knew i wanted this solo, everyone did...whatever...according to harris, theyll be other ones...that shell give to other people...heh...shell give them to people like rori and either liza and sophie...good people...which i dont fit into because i dont rift well, and im not the bionic voice (sorry rori, but u d go insanely high and i didnt have an expression) and im not this wonderful person who works well with her prodigy, her pride and joy, carlton...pooh...liza wont work with anybody else lol...thats really diva of her...
harris might do a song with me...it was the song nobody wanted and i was lucky enough to get before the powers that be scrapped it altogether...i actually liked it, so it wasnt too bad...i just feel like im being judged simply because i was on the team when i was supposed to be singing or something...lol...i know it seems farfetched, but whatever...i just dont want to be mediocre anymore...im sick of it...
paybarah looked over my common application essay...she said it was really good, and only did minor things to it...i was thinking shed overhaul the thing, but nope, she liked it...i was like wow...coolness...anyhow...
im installing a new version of aim...
im done with this blog...
oh and me and sheets are no longer writing the book...we were fighting like hell over it...hes proposing a rewrite, but we gotta agree on things first before it goes into the book...and i cant do funnystuff...that was what started the fight which led to sheets ripping up the book and wasting paper...
sometimes i think im a horrible person...i wish somebody could tell me different and id actually believe it...
bye
update on jimmy situation...he isnt talking to me anymore...which is fine by me, let him do what he wants, but he made sheets tell me about what was going on...he was ignorng me all that first day and refused to acknowledge me...to me that was a bit childish, but whatever, ive done him worse...to be honest i expected a lot better from him...but cometo think of it, the guy ripped out harris's name from a cheesecake cabaret advertisement....when i saw that i was like WOW...the only time he acknowledged my existance was to pry the paper out of my hands...i have done him much worse...so ill take whatever he has to throw at me...lord knows this was very long overdue...so if jimmy does read this...i say bring it on...i just wish things could be the same again...before everything happened...
rori got the phantom of the opera solo. im happy for her, no doubt, but im actually quite crushed... really wanted that solo,but i figure its cuz she likes rori and harris better...you should have seen their reccomedations from her...she loves them...mine was okay, but sternlieb needs more from me...thats how mediocre i looked...i hate being the mediocre one...especially when i try...i talked to rori a bit about this today, apparenty all she wanted was one little part in the song...i got meg...this tiny itty bitty solo...i know its sort of an honor, considering thats the only girl solo left, but...im still kinda mad...i was actively angling for that one...then when harris finds out, hes all like im sorry...and he took me not talking at all to mean i was taking out my anger on poor undeserving old him...then when i confided in steve, he told rori and i think she was crying...he was all guilttripping her...whihc made me mad, come to think of it, hes guiting her for doing something that not only is she good at, but something he makes her do. regularly...i waslike damn...im still a bit bummed about the solo, but ill get over it...i got over the italian one last year that liza got...it helped that i did that solo more than she did...heh...thats not gonna happen with this one...the thing was that she knew i wanted this solo, everyone did...whatever...according to harris, theyll be other ones...that shell give to other people...heh...shell give them to people like rori and either liza and sophie...good people...which i dont fit into because i dont rift well, and im not the bionic voice (sorry rori, but u d go insanely high and i didnt have an expression) and im not this wonderful person who works well with her prodigy, her pride and joy, carlton...pooh...liza wont work with anybody else lol...thats really diva of her...
harris might do a song with me...it was the song nobody wanted and i was lucky enough to get before the powers that be scrapped it altogether...i actually liked it, so it wasnt too bad...i just feel like im being judged simply because i was on the team when i was supposed to be singing or something...lol...i know it seems farfetched, but whatever...i just dont want to be mediocre anymore...im sick of it...
paybarah looked over my common application essay...she said it was really good, and only did minor things to it...i was thinking shed overhaul the thing, but nope, she liked it...i was like wow...coolness...anyhow...
im installing a new version of aim...
im done with this blog...
oh and me and sheets are no longer writing the book...we were fighting like hell over it...hes proposing a rewrite, but we gotta agree on things first before it goes into the book...and i cant do funnystuff...that was what started the fight which led to sheets ripping up the book and wasting paper...
sometimes i think im a horrible person...i wish somebody could tell me different and id actually believe it...
bye
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Totally F****** / Maybe / Bowling Ball
okay...in the middle of the most harrowing text message fight of my life...harris might actually end it...i say might cuz i dont actually know...but it is quite likely...
not that i dont deserve it...believe me i do...it all started thursday and friday, when jimmy and sheets told me that in order to get over liking me, they would have to remove me from their lives, ensurins that theyy would never see me again...i was freaking devastated...more than i should have been maybe...jimmy on thursday, sheets the next day...all i was thinking was that sheets would say the same thing...and look at that...
AND...when sheets told me, i was like...i bet harris is next...i bet hes gonna snap out of it and be like, christine, its over, good riddance...hope ull die young and painfully...and well WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE...
well, that doesnt explain everything...well me and rori went to church...im a freaking mess...i walked around all day wiht a hood over my head with this dead expression on my face... well eternal ink is over...and me and rori are about to go to get pizza when we run onto david...jimmy and marcus' david...the guy who nobody really trusted...especially harris and jimmy...now that i think about it...im kind of a moron...
well anyhow, david listens to me bitch for awhile...and lo and behold, hes all understanding...he kinda gives me insight into jimmys condition about this...insults sheets a little bit which pissed me the hell off to no end...and i dont know...he was just really really nice to me...he would hug us all when we got cold and things like that...
well after church, david walks me, rori, and vanessa to my moms car like tem blocks away...and he sort of takes my hand...which was reatrded why i didnt stop it but i didnt...
rori lectures me for it...i was like okay...
well word got to harris, and he go seriously pissed off...i dont blame him acutally...this is a time where its actually my fault...
and all i could think of is that i knew hed be next to leave...i just knew...
and im so scared right now cuz i think he might actually do it...i dont know what id do...honestly, i cant even foresee how lifes gonna be without him...i love him so much i dont think i can understand it...
(side note-harris, heres the link : https://portal.cuny.edu/cms/id/cuny/documents/informationpage/006373.htm )
he needed the link i guess i told him id send it...plus its there for everybody else...
i am freaking out over here...i dont know what hes gonna do...if he broke up eiht me, it would break my heart in two, but id understand...
i dont know wat to do...and the ones id normally go to at a time like this have flatleft...dear lord...
i knew it was coming...at least im prepared...
~ ~ ~ ~
side note...david gave rori some advice too...about her situation wiht steve...he called her "intellectually challenged"... im so pissed at him for that...
she doesnt need that...and rori if u say one more thing about an artistic nose that is straight, yet curvy, i will kill you...i have the motivation now...
expect an update very soon...i wanna let u know about this as soon as i can...that way i can tell someone...establish it somewhere...
im trying to steel myself for the inevitable...that way itll hurt less...i bet no preparationcan ease this...
hes the first guy ive ever really loved...i gave a lot to him...losing him...i dont even wanna think about it, itll hurt too much...
oh yea...happy 20th post...
signing off now...gonna go beat the crap out of interactive buddy..some how that always helps...tho idk about this...trying not to cry...
miserably yours
eruaphadriel
not that i dont deserve it...believe me i do...it all started thursday and friday, when jimmy and sheets told me that in order to get over liking me, they would have to remove me from their lives, ensurins that theyy would never see me again...i was freaking devastated...more than i should have been maybe...jimmy on thursday, sheets the next day...all i was thinking was that sheets would say the same thing...and look at that...
AND...when sheets told me, i was like...i bet harris is next...i bet hes gonna snap out of it and be like, christine, its over, good riddance...hope ull die young and painfully...and well WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE...
well, that doesnt explain everything...well me and rori went to church...im a freaking mess...i walked around all day wiht a hood over my head with this dead expression on my face... well eternal ink is over...and me and rori are about to go to get pizza when we run onto david...jimmy and marcus' david...the guy who nobody really trusted...especially harris and jimmy...now that i think about it...im kind of a moron...
well anyhow, david listens to me bitch for awhile...and lo and behold, hes all understanding...he kinda gives me insight into jimmys condition about this...insults sheets a little bit which pissed me the hell off to no end...and i dont know...he was just really really nice to me...he would hug us all when we got cold and things like that...
well after church, david walks me, rori, and vanessa to my moms car like tem blocks away...and he sort of takes my hand...which was reatrded why i didnt stop it but i didnt...
rori lectures me for it...i was like okay...
well word got to harris, and he go seriously pissed off...i dont blame him acutally...this is a time where its actually my fault...
and all i could think of is that i knew hed be next to leave...i just knew...
and im so scared right now cuz i think he might actually do it...i dont know what id do...honestly, i cant even foresee how lifes gonna be without him...i love him so much i dont think i can understand it...
(side note-harris, heres the link : https://portal.cuny.edu/cms/id/cuny/documents/informationpage/006373.htm )
he needed the link i guess i told him id send it...plus its there for everybody else...
i am freaking out over here...i dont know what hes gonna do...if he broke up eiht me, it would break my heart in two, but id understand...
i dont know wat to do...and the ones id normally go to at a time like this have flatleft...dear lord...
i knew it was coming...at least im prepared...
~ ~ ~ ~
side note...david gave rori some advice too...about her situation wiht steve...he called her "intellectually challenged"... im so pissed at him for that...
she doesnt need that...and rori if u say one more thing about an artistic nose that is straight, yet curvy, i will kill you...i have the motivation now...
expect an update very soon...i wanna let u know about this as soon as i can...that way i can tell someone...establish it somewhere...
im trying to steel myself for the inevitable...that way itll hurt less...i bet no preparationcan ease this...
hes the first guy ive ever really loved...i gave a lot to him...losing him...i dont even wanna think about it, itll hurt too much...
oh yea...happy 20th post...
signing off now...gonna go beat the crap out of interactive buddy..some how that always helps...tho idk about this...trying not to cry...
miserably yours
eruaphadriel
Monday, November 5, 2007
Untitled
heyhey....writing this blog standing up in the middle of the st lawrence bookstore...its tons of fun...i M IN THE MIDDLE OF A GIANT GOOGLE SEARHING FIGHT WITH RORI AND STEVE...steve should be nicer....rori should be meaner...
on day one...we got to the school and met our hosts...my host is a girl running for student body president that is so cool i know her name is mwelwa and she has this roommatre named jasmine...roris host is col and she did a presentatio today....steves host is RICHARD...YAY! i was so happy to see him...
i got a st lawrence sweatshirt...its red and pretty and rori has it in green...rori got hers first cuz my host took me to intro of music and i met the professor and hes nice too...when i got to the application crap rori had her sweater and i got so mad cuz ie been talking about college sweaters for three months now and she got bhers fiurst...well, i overreacted and me and steve got all competative cuz we were playing the admit wait list deny game...kimmy was yelling at me cuz i let my grades drop cuz of the play and i do it every year without guilt or shame...so i was being overly compatative...then kimmy got mad at me and said rori was mad because of me and its all my fault and rori was like she knows now why arista kids complain about me and steve so much..it kinda hurt but itds true and ive never cared what they thought...
steves playing the piano on the computer next to mine...hes reading over my shoulder at random times...he didnt even kno i had a blog...hes reaseraching melodramit girls in response to rori reasearching assholes and stupid guys.. steve is mucho weirdo
tmobile doesnt work up here...roris phone is working yet steves and my phones are useless...well we leave tomorrow...i dont wanna leave...its so nice up here
had my interview...not eligible for heop like rori and steve so i had my interview at pays hall while they had theirs at whitman at different times...i hope i did okay...
i missed novices to come here...wednesday marks my exit from my life to devote myself entirely to my sport...so not gonna do well at this meet but at least6 i made it to the next level i guess...
now steve is watching adult swim...the music is catchy but hes notplaying it cuz hes reading over my shoulder...now its playing again but its something different...its a game i guess
i so wanna come to st lawrence...
(by the way, this song is actuallycalled untitled i couldnt think of a name for this one...)
imma go now cuz this is not my comp and i wanna talk to rori who has left the area to either talk to other ppl or avoid steve...i wouldnt know...
now shes back...
hi rori..she says hello...yes you did rori...steve go awaqy...
oh and im helping sheets write his book...i actually wrote A CHAPTER it was fun....i hate mac computers i cant type on them....but there ike faster and stuff...i wanna play newgrounds too...i wanna play interactive buddy
so i will do that
bye and i will post soon again byers but dotn call me till tomorrow those of u with my number...byers
on day one...we got to the school and met our hosts...my host is a girl running for student body president that is so cool i know her name is mwelwa and she has this roommatre named jasmine...roris host is col and she did a presentatio today....steves host is RICHARD...YAY! i was so happy to see him...
i got a st lawrence sweatshirt...its red and pretty and rori has it in green...rori got hers first cuz my host took me to intro of music and i met the professor and hes nice too...when i got to the application crap rori had her sweater and i got so mad cuz ie been talking about college sweaters for three months now and she got bhers fiurst...well, i overreacted and me and steve got all competative cuz we were playing the admit wait list deny game...kimmy was yelling at me cuz i let my grades drop cuz of the play and i do it every year without guilt or shame...so i was being overly compatative...then kimmy got mad at me and said rori was mad because of me and its all my fault and rori was like she knows now why arista kids complain about me and steve so much..it kinda hurt but itds true and ive never cared what they thought...
steves playing the piano on the computer next to mine...hes reading over my shoulder at random times...he didnt even kno i had a blog...hes reaseraching melodramit girls in response to rori reasearching assholes and stupid guys.. steve is mucho weirdo
tmobile doesnt work up here...roris phone is working yet steves and my phones are useless...well we leave tomorrow...i dont wanna leave...its so nice up here
had my interview...not eligible for heop like rori and steve so i had my interview at pays hall while they had theirs at whitman at different times...i hope i did okay...
i missed novices to come here...wednesday marks my exit from my life to devote myself entirely to my sport...so not gonna do well at this meet but at least6 i made it to the next level i guess...
now steve is watching adult swim...the music is catchy but hes notplaying it cuz hes reading over my shoulder...now its playing again but its something different...its a game i guess
i so wanna come to st lawrence...
(by the way, this song is actuallycalled untitled i couldnt think of a name for this one...)
imma go now cuz this is not my comp and i wanna talk to rori who has left the area to either talk to other ppl or avoid steve...i wouldnt know...
now shes back...
hi rori..she says hello...yes you did rori...steve go awaqy...
oh and im helping sheets write his book...i actually wrote A CHAPTER it was fun....i hate mac computers i cant type on them....but there ike faster and stuff...i wanna play newgrounds too...i wanna play interactive buddy
so i will do that
bye and i will post soon again byers but dotn call me till tomorrow those of u with my number...byers
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Karma / What I've Done
wow...sorry for being back so quickly...just went blog hopping from sheets (nothing new since sunday or monday) to harris (two new, and both saying something about me)
DEAR FREAKIGN LORD...i know these are for sharing feelings regardless of judgement, but come on...damn...sometimes when he says it, i just dont get it...but when its in words like that...damn...it hurts...
it feels numb...like somebody jabbed a bunch of needles in my heart and are drawing them out SLOWLY...like that...like this pinching feeling and it hurts so bad and i wanna cry and scream and punch somthing all at the same time...
im not unreasonable, im not a bitch, im not this selfish girl who clicgs to the point of you can talk to these people anymore...but it stings a little bit...this dude was like im sorry mezzo soprano girl...he made it sound so bad, like im inferior cuz im not this glass breaking girl (ie: liza and rori) i cant break glass, but i dont have a compulsive rifting issue...(no offense to liza, i love her voice, but every note has a flourish to it...some notes are better as is...but according to my boyfriend im too low of a singer to judge)...im so hurt...but i know i shouldnt be...and the factg that i am hurts all the more...
i was observing that he prolly doesnt read any of my blogs...its prolly better that way... maybe hed have less ammo on me...less to judge me about...
Am I good enough for him? am i giving this relationship everything i have left to give? i doont know anymore...because if i was maybe i would learn to take more...but why do i have to take everything? i put up wiht the fact that hes never in the mood for me and when he is its at the worst times for me but i still deal cuz those are the only times that hes really good to me...
i feel like im freaking spinning...and i know ive done this to myself...ive hurt so many people...i guess its about time i feel the effects of my own actions...im surprised it didnt come sooner...
now i understand...i understand why sheets was so angry with me, why steve insults me (albiet friendly insults)...why harris cant look at me the same anymore...why i can barely hug him without his being repulsed by me...
that weekend changed everything...it changed absolutely everything...im so hurt, but i do know i deserve it...oh well...thats what i get...of course...i have to own up to what ive done...whatever...i can take it..and ill do it, solo or with somebody./..if thats how harris thinks of me...the balls in his court now...
DEAR FREAKIGN LORD...i know these are for sharing feelings regardless of judgement, but come on...damn...sometimes when he says it, i just dont get it...but when its in words like that...damn...it hurts...
it feels numb...like somebody jabbed a bunch of needles in my heart and are drawing them out SLOWLY...like that...like this pinching feeling and it hurts so bad and i wanna cry and scream and punch somthing all at the same time...
im not unreasonable, im not a bitch, im not this selfish girl who clicgs to the point of you can talk to these people anymore...but it stings a little bit...this dude was like im sorry mezzo soprano girl...he made it sound so bad, like im inferior cuz im not this glass breaking girl (ie: liza and rori) i cant break glass, but i dont have a compulsive rifting issue...(no offense to liza, i love her voice, but every note has a flourish to it...some notes are better as is...but according to my boyfriend im too low of a singer to judge)...im so hurt...but i know i shouldnt be...and the factg that i am hurts all the more...
i was observing that he prolly doesnt read any of my blogs...its prolly better that way... maybe hed have less ammo on me...less to judge me about...
Am I good enough for him? am i giving this relationship everything i have left to give? i doont know anymore...because if i was maybe i would learn to take more...but why do i have to take everything? i put up wiht the fact that hes never in the mood for me and when he is its at the worst times for me but i still deal cuz those are the only times that hes really good to me...
i feel like im freaking spinning...and i know ive done this to myself...ive hurt so many people...i guess its about time i feel the effects of my own actions...im surprised it didnt come sooner...
now i understand...i understand why sheets was so angry with me, why steve insults me (albiet friendly insults)...why harris cant look at me the same anymore...why i can barely hug him without his being repulsed by me...
that weekend changed everything...it changed absolutely everything...im so hurt, but i do know i deserve it...oh well...thats what i get...of course...i have to own up to what ive done...whatever...i can take it..and ill do it, solo or with somebody./..if thats how harris thinks of me...the balls in his court now...
Dear Friend / The Last Song I'm Wasting On You
hey...whats up...this double title means something, but not exactly what it looks like...let me explain...
lets start with title one...
dear friend...that goes to sheets, one of the best guys ever no question about it...the only thing i really dont get is that im the one who did something wrong...yet hes the one apologizing? he refused to take my apology, claiming hed never se me the same, yet he apologizes for doing nothing...i dont get that...
MOON SHOES...i want those...
anyhow...i now understand that the dude is rather long suffering, and i know ive done some bad crap to him...but i wanna do better now...im not gonna mess up anything anymore...just cuz i have to manipulate family members doesnt mean i have to subconsciously to my friends...i refuse to do that...if i need something done i will utilize subordinates, like i have always done, and i will never give my friends the impression that they are tools...never never never...
which brings me to my second title...its not as odd as it sounds...
the whole thing with harris has really been getting me down...i dont wanna fight but sometimes stating simple fact sets him off...that and steves physics book can really cause some trouble...
sometimes i dont know if he really cares anymore...i know i shouldnt doubt him, but sometimes it hurts when he wont look at me because hes not in the mood to...there are things i put up with when comes to him that im not too happy about but i do it bacause i love him and all...i know thats really bad that hes irritating me so much but apparently i irritate him too...and somehow the only way we communicate civily is through writing...and i dont even think he reads these...if he ever did...sometimes i wonder if he looks at me the same since that hellish weekend...if he lost respect for me...it hurts so much to even reflect on all this, but i know i really cant tell him, cuz he either wont answer, or he would tell me what i wanna hear...but what if what i wanna hear is what he really thinks? who knows? the very thought of harris getting bored with me scares me, especially cuz i put a lot of time into being perfect...but what if perfect isnt good enough for him....i remember that he was really bleh about me being a mezzo soprano according to pierre...why does it matter what voice range im in? well whatever...
im happy i got all of this off my chest...i dont wanna just explode on him...i dont wanna be the one who gives up...i cant, really, not at this point...our pictures in the yearbook, for one thing...plus...there are some times where harris is just so sweet and nice and stuff, and somehow that makes up for everything...oh well...its not like he reads this anyway...
oh well...this is the last time i say any of these things...this is the very last you will hear of any of it...i wanna bury this, get on with my life, and be happy wiht my bf and stuff...cheesy, but that works for me...
swim practice has been killing me lately...making a 32 second 50 free means harder practices for my butt...and they hurt...painfully...oh well...if i make another backstroke time again, maybe she will let me go to opens, instead of me feeling guilty for missing novices...the only thing is, at novices, ill be the fastest backstroker, at opens, the better meet, ill be the slowest...and that will sincerely piss me off...
anyhoo...let me go now...i gotta go anyway...anyhow...byebye...
lets start with title one...
dear friend...that goes to sheets, one of the best guys ever no question about it...the only thing i really dont get is that im the one who did something wrong...yet hes the one apologizing? he refused to take my apology, claiming hed never se me the same, yet he apologizes for doing nothing...i dont get that...
MOON SHOES...i want those...
anyhow...i now understand that the dude is rather long suffering, and i know ive done some bad crap to him...but i wanna do better now...im not gonna mess up anything anymore...just cuz i have to manipulate family members doesnt mean i have to subconsciously to my friends...i refuse to do that...if i need something done i will utilize subordinates, like i have always done, and i will never give my friends the impression that they are tools...never never never...
which brings me to my second title...its not as odd as it sounds...
the whole thing with harris has really been getting me down...i dont wanna fight but sometimes stating simple fact sets him off...that and steves physics book can really cause some trouble...
sometimes i dont know if he really cares anymore...i know i shouldnt doubt him, but sometimes it hurts when he wont look at me because hes not in the mood to...there are things i put up with when comes to him that im not too happy about but i do it bacause i love him and all...i know thats really bad that hes irritating me so much but apparently i irritate him too...and somehow the only way we communicate civily is through writing...and i dont even think he reads these...if he ever did...sometimes i wonder if he looks at me the same since that hellish weekend...if he lost respect for me...it hurts so much to even reflect on all this, but i know i really cant tell him, cuz he either wont answer, or he would tell me what i wanna hear...but what if what i wanna hear is what he really thinks? who knows? the very thought of harris getting bored with me scares me, especially cuz i put a lot of time into being perfect...but what if perfect isnt good enough for him....i remember that he was really bleh about me being a mezzo soprano according to pierre...why does it matter what voice range im in? well whatever...
im happy i got all of this off my chest...i dont wanna just explode on him...i dont wanna be the one who gives up...i cant, really, not at this point...our pictures in the yearbook, for one thing...plus...there are some times where harris is just so sweet and nice and stuff, and somehow that makes up for everything...oh well...its not like he reads this anyway...
oh well...this is the last time i say any of these things...this is the very last you will hear of any of it...i wanna bury this, get on with my life, and be happy wiht my bf and stuff...cheesy, but that works for me...
swim practice has been killing me lately...making a 32 second 50 free means harder practices for my butt...and they hurt...painfully...oh well...if i make another backstroke time again, maybe she will let me go to opens, instead of me feeling guilty for missing novices...the only thing is, at novices, ill be the fastest backstroker, at opens, the better meet, ill be the slowest...and that will sincerely piss me off...
anyhoo...let me go now...i gotta go anyway...anyhow...byebye...
Sunday, October 21, 2007
The Carpal Tunnel Of Love
hey again...you may be wondering why i put this title...let me explain it to you...
do u ever feel like ur happiness is hurting everyone around you? well thats how ive been feeling every since the whle thing wth harris started...hes a good guy, despite what others and even he says...i think so anyway, if i didnt then im just a glutton for punishment...
well, sheets is forever yelling at me now, and jimmy barely talks to me, at least not as much as he used to...i can understand jimmy, him being my ex and hating joeys guts more than hell...but sheets? i get where hes coming from too...i never thought id be in this position, ask anybody who knew me before high school...i was that weird girl not many talked to cuz she was that weird...now i get to cleveland...im still the weird girl but at least people talk to me...except that one incident when joe zamitto used my name tomake frun of brittany...that just wasnt nice...lol...
well you get the point...people look at me and see an equal now...
i never thought id be the girl who would have the affections of a grand total of three very good guys within the span of a year...seven months of it simultaneous actually...
any girl would be lucky to have just one chasing after her...well two of then arent chasing, and the third doesnt need to...
sheets said recently that he holds envy over harris because he has me...all i have to say to that is hat sheets can prolly do better than me...i cant imagine fighting wiht sheets as much as i do with harris...we dont fight so much now...or at least im optimistic...we had a coherent not yelling conversation last friday maybe itll work out like that...but still...some girl is gonna be so lucky to have sheets he just hasnt realized (oraccepted) that fate...
as for me, i can deal...i love harris, that much isnt changing, and itll prolly take more than a long while toget over it if it does end...i hope it doesnt end...if we could get through a fight like our six month anniversary one, where everyone got involved, i tink we can handle pretty close to anything...that is, if he doesnt get bored with me...i think thats a big fear for me...somebody getting bored with me...harris might be sick of me by now, im hoping hes not but whatever...i cant control what ppl think...
harris actully told me i should have ended it that day...ever since he said that, ive been thinking...either that means he knows what he did wrong or he wants out...if it is the latter he has to tell me straight...i can only take the hints nobody wants to have seen...i actually knew something ws up wiht him from a hile...when the told me i wasnt shocked at all...dissapointed maybe, but totally not shocked...rori and marina prolly hought they were gonna deal with a hurricane of tears...if they expectefd that they were prolly dissapointed...
actually, jimmy was the one hearing about that most when i found out...he may have called me way too much, but he totally respected me and my views...idk though...now that i think about it, telling harris i liked him was the best and worst thing i couldve possibly done for everybody else...
but love isnt about outside people isnt it? its about two people...and their feelings for one another, and withstanding anything...thats what i think...
on the other hand, i have the best friends ever, they stood up and defended me when i had no real outlet for defending myself...it kills sometimes that i cant defend myself sometimes...that i have to hide behind people...
as for sheets, i can understand what hes going through, and if hed let me help i would...he said i manipulate him though...if i have that was totally my bad and i didnt mean it that way and i have toned down a lot...i hate that i hurt him...ihurt hi about as much as i hurt jimmy i think and i think thats a sucky thing for me to do and i want to fix this if theyd let me but thy dont...
i love harris, that is not, IS NOT, changing anytime soon...i just wanna stop hurting everyone else...sometimes i fel like there gonna be kay, but sometimes its like, if there not gonna accept it and if there gonna hurt over something you yourself are doing to them because you wanna be happy and find love..then whats the use of findin it if u cant enjoy it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
anyhoo....onto lighter matters
did some dives at the campus magnet swim meets...my 50 free was a 32! i think thats kelseys time, and ms wagner says that if i work at my dive a bit more i can beat even natasha! and my 100 free time was a 1:18! yay!!!
got some health homework im procrastinating on...story of my life...
well ive got to go...i got a new storage card for my phone and im usin that until my zune updates itself....BYEBYE!
do u ever feel like ur happiness is hurting everyone around you? well thats how ive been feeling every since the whle thing wth harris started...hes a good guy, despite what others and even he says...i think so anyway, if i didnt then im just a glutton for punishment...
well, sheets is forever yelling at me now, and jimmy barely talks to me, at least not as much as he used to...i can understand jimmy, him being my ex and hating joeys guts more than hell...but sheets? i get where hes coming from too...i never thought id be in this position, ask anybody who knew me before high school...i was that weird girl not many talked to cuz she was that weird...now i get to cleveland...im still the weird girl but at least people talk to me...except that one incident when joe zamitto used my name tomake frun of brittany...that just wasnt nice...lol...
well you get the point...people look at me and see an equal now...
i never thought id be the girl who would have the affections of a grand total of three very good guys within the span of a year...seven months of it simultaneous actually...
any girl would be lucky to have just one chasing after her...well two of then arent chasing, and the third doesnt need to...
sheets said recently that he holds envy over harris because he has me...all i have to say to that is hat sheets can prolly do better than me...i cant imagine fighting wiht sheets as much as i do with harris...we dont fight so much now...or at least im optimistic...we had a coherent not yelling conversation last friday maybe itll work out like that...but still...some girl is gonna be so lucky to have sheets he just hasnt realized (oraccepted) that fate...
as for me, i can deal...i love harris, that much isnt changing, and itll prolly take more than a long while toget over it if it does end...i hope it doesnt end...if we could get through a fight like our six month anniversary one, where everyone got involved, i tink we can handle pretty close to anything...that is, if he doesnt get bored with me...i think thats a big fear for me...somebody getting bored with me...harris might be sick of me by now, im hoping hes not but whatever...i cant control what ppl think...
harris actully told me i should have ended it that day...ever since he said that, ive been thinking...either that means he knows what he did wrong or he wants out...if it is the latter he has to tell me straight...i can only take the hints nobody wants to have seen...i actually knew something ws up wiht him from a hile...when the told me i wasnt shocked at all...dissapointed maybe, but totally not shocked...rori and marina prolly hought they were gonna deal with a hurricane of tears...if they expectefd that they were prolly dissapointed...
actually, jimmy was the one hearing about that most when i found out...he may have called me way too much, but he totally respected me and my views...idk though...now that i think about it, telling harris i liked him was the best and worst thing i couldve possibly done for everybody else...
but love isnt about outside people isnt it? its about two people...and their feelings for one another, and withstanding anything...thats what i think...
on the other hand, i have the best friends ever, they stood up and defended me when i had no real outlet for defending myself...it kills sometimes that i cant defend myself sometimes...that i have to hide behind people...
as for sheets, i can understand what hes going through, and if hed let me help i would...he said i manipulate him though...if i have that was totally my bad and i didnt mean it that way and i have toned down a lot...i hate that i hurt him...ihurt hi about as much as i hurt jimmy i think and i think thats a sucky thing for me to do and i want to fix this if theyd let me but thy dont...
i love harris, that is not, IS NOT, changing anytime soon...i just wanna stop hurting everyone else...sometimes i fel like there gonna be kay, but sometimes its like, if there not gonna accept it and if there gonna hurt over something you yourself are doing to them because you wanna be happy and find love..then whats the use of findin it if u cant enjoy it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
anyhoo....onto lighter matters
did some dives at the campus magnet swim meets...my 50 free was a 32! i think thats kelseys time, and ms wagner says that if i work at my dive a bit more i can beat even natasha! and my 100 free time was a 1:18! yay!!!
got some health homework im procrastinating on...story of my life...
well ive got to go...i got a new storage card for my phone and im usin that until my zune updates itself....BYEBYE!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Dive!
hey...i picked this title cuz i learned how to dive...which is awesome yay....and it only took me four years! take that for having your own timetables for learning lmao...
anyhoo, joey sheets and i are writing a book together...hes writing and im his concept designer. im helping with characcter descriptions and the like.
heres the characters (parenthesis means no name)
Olivia- roris character, shes a witch but she doesnt know how to use her powers as of right now...she gets to go to a magical school for other worldly creatures...steves character is her love interest and she becomes this really powerful witch by the end...her charm bracelet is central to the plot. very good at all magic except the evil kind
(Sheets)- he has no name as of right now...hes a white mage/ demon as far as i can understand...the demons hate him cuz hes half blood and the others hate him cuz hes part demon...the main characters are really his best friends...when his sister betrays the group he defends her until he can no longer...cant do much magic except healing and white magic
(Harris)- a troll...uncommonly smart for a troll however...although his family discourages thinking, he wants desperately to think...my characters love interest...stands very tall in comparison to the others...cuz hes a troll...the dude who fights the physical battles so far...thats all we have for him cuz sheets and steve have been really knocking him lately....isnt good at much academics but hes learning...
(Marina)- a nymph...steves other love interest...tries to seduce him to save her boyfriend (jay) from destruction by jimmys character (ill describe him later)...good at most magic as far as i know
(Jimmy)- a vampire...talks all the time about taking over the school but nobody really takes it seriously, except my character, whos covering up a romantic past wiht him...has an ingenious plan to siphon the magic off the school using one of its most powerful students...very very good at black magic
(Christine)- a pixie...very smart,intelligent for a pixie, and pixies are highly intelligent to begin with. very secretive wiht just about everything, even keeping a conjured up curtain over her top bunk bed. love interest for (harris), and ex girlfriend of (jimmy) in an almost secret relationship that nobody knew about. instrumental to jimmys plan to siphon magic from the school, and she is there to control her overly powerful magical powers which cause strange things to happen...very good at all magic except white magic...with a vampire ex boyfriend you get very good at the black magic...
(mine is longer cuz..ya know...thats me...i happen to be very good at describing myself...oh and plus im a lot shorter like 4'10)
(Sophie)-a volintary werewolf...sheets called it a lupin...shes neutral for most of the conflict, then we force her to help us...
(Sammy)- (sheets) sister...defects to jimmys side but then goes back...aids my capture but them tries to rescue me
those are all teh characters i remember'
rori might come to st lawrence with me and steve yay!
we gotta see pierre about those scholarships...anyhoo...
hope the book comes out good
kk bye
anyhoo, joey sheets and i are writing a book together...hes writing and im his concept designer. im helping with characcter descriptions and the like.
heres the characters (parenthesis means no name)
Olivia- roris character, shes a witch but she doesnt know how to use her powers as of right now...she gets to go to a magical school for other worldly creatures...steves character is her love interest and she becomes this really powerful witch by the end...her charm bracelet is central to the plot. very good at all magic except the evil kind
(Sheets)- he has no name as of right now...hes a white mage/ demon as far as i can understand...the demons hate him cuz hes half blood and the others hate him cuz hes part demon...the main characters are really his best friends...when his sister betrays the group he defends her until he can no longer...cant do much magic except healing and white magic
(Harris)- a troll...uncommonly smart for a troll however...although his family discourages thinking, he wants desperately to think...my characters love interest...stands very tall in comparison to the others...cuz hes a troll...the dude who fights the physical battles so far...thats all we have for him cuz sheets and steve have been really knocking him lately....isnt good at much academics but hes learning...
(Marina)- a nymph...steves other love interest...tries to seduce him to save her boyfriend (jay) from destruction by jimmys character (ill describe him later)...good at most magic as far as i know
(Jimmy)- a vampire...talks all the time about taking over the school but nobody really takes it seriously, except my character, whos covering up a romantic past wiht him...has an ingenious plan to siphon the magic off the school using one of its most powerful students...very very good at black magic
(Christine)- a pixie...very smart,intelligent for a pixie, and pixies are highly intelligent to begin with. very secretive wiht just about everything, even keeping a conjured up curtain over her top bunk bed. love interest for (harris), and ex girlfriend of (jimmy) in an almost secret relationship that nobody knew about. instrumental to jimmys plan to siphon magic from the school, and she is there to control her overly powerful magical powers which cause strange things to happen...very good at all magic except white magic...with a vampire ex boyfriend you get very good at the black magic...
(mine is longer cuz..ya know...thats me...i happen to be very good at describing myself...oh and plus im a lot shorter like 4'10)
(Sophie)-a volintary werewolf...sheets called it a lupin...shes neutral for most of the conflict, then we force her to help us...
(Sammy)- (sheets) sister...defects to jimmys side but then goes back...aids my capture but them tries to rescue me
those are all teh characters i remember'
rori might come to st lawrence with me and steve yay!
we gotta see pierre about those scholarships...anyhoo...
hope the book comes out good
kk bye
Monday, October 15, 2007
Ive Just Seen A Face
hey guys...stealing some time to write a blog
loving across the universe
worrying myself over jimmy cuz i havent seen him on forever...do not want him dropping out...he just cant...its not that i like him or anything (considering that was the belief)...he just listens a lot...about something he hates hearing about...its like sheets 2...i dont think theres anyway i can pay him back for all the things ove prolly put him though...hopefully he would stop liking me, cuz i dont wanna be that girl...the one who stands in the way of his happiness...i think ive stood in the way of other pplz...i may even consider asking david...lord knows how that will go...the good thing is nthat in my last coinversation wiht peter, i found out that joey isnt as bad a person as jimmy says...good thing too, i dont wanna forgive someone who doesnt deserve it....
all the same
made opens again, but not quite
saw kings college, its absolutely wonderful, and it was cool cuz me and harris were the only ones from new york and all the colerado and texas girls went crazy over our "accents"...yay...i thought that was cool lol had harris been there alone i think he coulda racked up so many long distance relationships cuz all those girls were pretty and perfect...the opposite of me...
i applied to kings college 2...ill explain the houses there when i have more time...
by the way...this song is the title because ive hads this song in my head for like forever
lol bye
loving across the universe
worrying myself over jimmy cuz i havent seen him on forever...do not want him dropping out...he just cant...its not that i like him or anything (considering that was the belief)...he just listens a lot...about something he hates hearing about...its like sheets 2...i dont think theres anyway i can pay him back for all the things ove prolly put him though...hopefully he would stop liking me, cuz i dont wanna be that girl...the one who stands in the way of his happiness...i think ive stood in the way of other pplz...i may even consider asking david...lord knows how that will go...the good thing is nthat in my last coinversation wiht peter, i found out that joey isnt as bad a person as jimmy says...good thing too, i dont wanna forgive someone who doesnt deserve it....
all the same
made opens again, but not quite
saw kings college, its absolutely wonderful, and it was cool cuz me and harris were the only ones from new york and all the colerado and texas girls went crazy over our "accents"...yay...i thought that was cool lol had harris been there alone i think he coulda racked up so many long distance relationships cuz all those girls were pretty and perfect...the opposite of me...
i applied to kings college 2...ill explain the houses there when i have more time...
by the way...this song is the title because ive hads this song in my head for like forever
lol bye
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Across The Universe
this title is on account of the song and the movie i just came back from, called Across The Universe. really good movie, but rather trippy, cuz the characters were high for awhile which turned things into loopy tiedye technicolor...which is fun but headache causing...who knew that the beatles were that good? lol im kidding of course i know there good there classics lol...
anyhoo, i am at ginies house and i am bothering her while she is watching saw 3...its kinda interesting in spite of itself...despite the actors inability to excel at their craft (and ginie remarking on my lack of acting skill...which hurt btw) , the writing happens to be pretty good, albiet played out and cheesy...i give jigsaw his props however, it takes a true morbid genius to figure out that many ways to manipulate a person and then watch them brutally slay themselves...
i wonder if jigsaw would end upchoosing me for his odd killing experiment...i wonder if i appreciate life sometimes...i think i do...i know i have a lot to appreciate even though sometimes i may not be so vocal about it...
which brings me to my concern as of right now...jimmy went missing awhile ago and just recently trned up...at least in my eyes i haadnt seen him for awhile and i saw him yesterday so i know hes alive which is always good...
sheets sometimes asks me if i still like jimmy like that...i can say no to that, of course i can say no to that, bu sometimes it fells like he was one of the few who actually gave two shyts about my opinion and didnt think i was stupid or push me into a world i know i wasnt ready for...maybe im still not ready for it...
oh, that reminds me...harris...interesting boy, that one is...one minute hes tired and bleh, the next hes the life of clover and leaping onto tall buildings in a single bound...i understand morning fatigue and not being a morning person (i learned that the hard way..btw, when a guy isnt a morning person, poking them isnt what does the trick for them lol) but theres a line between being tired and being annoyed with me, and somehow i kinda see that line blurring...i dont think im a boring person, and i hate that im made out to be annoying when ive spent most of my teenage life distancing myself from that reputation...i do what i can to give everyone their space, but somehow whenever i get further so do they but in my head that exactly what they want...like yesterday morning...the kid was so damn tired and all i wanted to do was leave him alone cuz he kept snipping at me, and the next thing i know steves pulling him out of class so i can take the senior couple photo (cliched i know so unlike me)...why the hell? i mean it woulda been fun but i dont think anybodys heart was really in it...is really in it...rori had this theory that harris is just trying to show off his relationship (im nothing worth showing off for, but that another story)...idk about that actually...whatever his motives may be apparently im just along for the ride...a bumpy one for sure...but this kid deluded my head with optimism and i wanna see the optimism as far as it can go...i wanna have no regrets when i look back on this...even though i believe i have several reasons to feel guilty, i dont think ive ever been so happy in the midst of the guilt before...cuz no matter what ive dealt with, i still love the dude and theres nothing i can really do about it as of right now...
well, when we really think about it...maybe living really is easy with eyes closed, all we need is love, and we all live in a big giant yellow submarine...think about it...we all go through all this crap that were prolly gonna end up laughing about later in the midst of bigger turd piles...i kinda want things back the way they were before...but not really, because had they stayed the same i wouldnt be the person i am right now...
onto lighter discussion...took the SAT...AGAIN...and onto the best news ever...
I MADE OPENS!!!! YAY!!!!
lol...anyhoo...mma go now...ginies movies about to end and i feel like going on AIM...byebye
anyhoo, i am at ginies house and i am bothering her while she is watching saw 3...its kinda interesting in spite of itself...despite the actors inability to excel at their craft (and ginie remarking on my lack of acting skill...which hurt btw) , the writing happens to be pretty good, albiet played out and cheesy...i give jigsaw his props however, it takes a true morbid genius to figure out that many ways to manipulate a person and then watch them brutally slay themselves...
i wonder if jigsaw would end upchoosing me for his odd killing experiment...i wonder if i appreciate life sometimes...i think i do...i know i have a lot to appreciate even though sometimes i may not be so vocal about it...
which brings me to my concern as of right now...jimmy went missing awhile ago and just recently trned up...at least in my eyes i haadnt seen him for awhile and i saw him yesterday so i know hes alive which is always good...
sheets sometimes asks me if i still like jimmy like that...i can say no to that, of course i can say no to that, bu sometimes it fells like he was one of the few who actually gave two shyts about my opinion and didnt think i was stupid or push me into a world i know i wasnt ready for...maybe im still not ready for it...
oh, that reminds me...harris...interesting boy, that one is...one minute hes tired and bleh, the next hes the life of clover and leaping onto tall buildings in a single bound...i understand morning fatigue and not being a morning person (i learned that the hard way..btw, when a guy isnt a morning person, poking them isnt what does the trick for them lol) but theres a line between being tired and being annoyed with me, and somehow i kinda see that line blurring...i dont think im a boring person, and i hate that im made out to be annoying when ive spent most of my teenage life distancing myself from that reputation...i do what i can to give everyone their space, but somehow whenever i get further so do they but in my head that exactly what they want...like yesterday morning...the kid was so damn tired and all i wanted to do was leave him alone cuz he kept snipping at me, and the next thing i know steves pulling him out of class so i can take the senior couple photo (cliched i know so unlike me)...why the hell? i mean it woulda been fun but i dont think anybodys heart was really in it...is really in it...rori had this theory that harris is just trying to show off his relationship (im nothing worth showing off for, but that another story)...idk about that actually...whatever his motives may be apparently im just along for the ride...a bumpy one for sure...but this kid deluded my head with optimism and i wanna see the optimism as far as it can go...i wanna have no regrets when i look back on this...even though i believe i have several reasons to feel guilty, i dont think ive ever been so happy in the midst of the guilt before...cuz no matter what ive dealt with, i still love the dude and theres nothing i can really do about it as of right now...
well, when we really think about it...maybe living really is easy with eyes closed, all we need is love, and we all live in a big giant yellow submarine...think about it...we all go through all this crap that were prolly gonna end up laughing about later in the midst of bigger turd piles...i kinda want things back the way they were before...but not really, because had they stayed the same i wouldnt be the person i am right now...
onto lighter discussion...took the SAT...AGAIN...and onto the best news ever...
I MADE OPENS!!!! YAY!!!!
lol...anyhoo...mma go now...ginies movies about to end and i feel like going on AIM...byebye
Monday, September 24, 2007
Notes / Twisted Every Way
heya...today i went to the dentist...it was fun...for a cap and two anesthesia needles and a fight that would shake the grounds of...well...everywhere...here is the story...again...it is all my fault...i know, i know, i am a ovely person, and very bad things should happen to me...whatever let me continue with my story before you all start yelling...ill actually pause for you, my readers, to yell and throw things at me...well, here i go...
well today, i have to go to the dentist and pick up my checks (1500-1600 yay!)...when i realize i need someone with a phone to come at best...either that or a bunch of quarters...so i ask rori, she says no...i ask if steve might come she says she needs him for her italian song...the mrriage of figaro, dont speak italian all i know is that the song is about a bonnet and theres measuring involved...i was like aww crap cuz i need his phone...i guess i pushed it a little too hard...actually, i know i pushed it too hard...when ur an only child u tend to gain that ability i guess...but more on that little peice of philosophical psychology later...(side note..got a 92 on my psych quiz yay!)
well, i end up saying a joke which cut really deep but i figured it was funny...sarcasm...works in some instances not in this one...
(INSERT ALL OF THE AUDIENCES YELLING HERE...you will all have sore throats by the time i am done)
i was like i used to say u had no mean bones in ur body i guess i was wrong...(note to myself...i am not funny...repeat this maxim to yourself over and over again)
well the day goes by i run into steve and im like i was gonna ask u if u wanted to go to manhatten to pick up my checks and hes like sure ill go...then 6th rolls around and hes like rori needs me...i was like crap just lend me ur phone ill give it back...its his brand knew sidekick id i shoulda known better...
well, go to clover and ask rori again if she wants to go (i figured if she went so did the phone i mean steve the owner of the phone) she said no cuz she got into trouble for yesterday (my first officialdate with harris, had fun but it was a mized bag).., she says call harris, so i do...hes sick...poor harris ill send some cyber benadryl and ibuprofen
so i end up asking steve again and out of nowhere (at least to me) rori rushed out of the room and m like okay what just happened...steve hands me this letter from marina, basically addressing my issues and why me and harris piss her off so much...all i end up wanting to do is throw a chair at her...a really big chair...
(CUE INCESSANT YELLING...see isnt that fun?)
cuz isnt there a way to be nicer about that? seriously...personally when i give advice...when i was in a position to give it...i was nicer about it, cuz theres giving advice, and making a person feel sstupid...in yhe last fight, she actually told me, christine your been very very stupid and if he hurts you again ill never talk to you anymore...please...ive given her advice she hasnt taken (prolly cuz i have no life experience) and i would never desert her, if she took it or not, because friendship isnt taken advice to me...i think thats the only thing i can argue with, every other aspect i am dead wrong
im off the subject...my bad
well back to it...well at this point i am painfully upset, cuz i act the same with steve as i do with jimmy and sheets...steve is going down to meet rori and i have to go in that same direction...i have the letter in my hand and im like rori i read ur note its nice to see what u really think of me...i dont think she heard that but she definately was mad at me...and when rori is mad u know you have done something absolutely terrible...
(YELL NOW AGAIN...would u like a soothing throat lozenge?)
well as i am on my way to columbus circle to pick up my mullah i end up writing a very very long letter to vent...like six seven pages...its almost done but not quite...im not sending it, the last thing i want is my friends mad at me...AGAIN...
then i get my money...i liked the amount in total...around 1600 yay!...then i bought a small carribean passion smoothie from jamba juice...after that i felt better...it had energy boost in it too so by the time i get to the dentist with my mom im wide awake...that guaranas better than caffiene (which reminds me, marcus is back in florida...and i have his stuff...he had diabetes...type 2....who knew?)...they cap my tooth and my mom gets a filling and i laugh cuz apparentl they fund another cavity in the tooth next to that one...who am i kidding one tooth in my mouth is fake! it was my favorite tooth too...(cuz there was a big circular hle in it...i thought it was a birthmark not a giant cavity that spells death for my tooth)...
we run into my aunt on the way out and my mom fills her in on my date with harris...she thinks its cute and she tells her all the stories she has on his...well...slight ineptness at dating (who am i kidding im prolly worse) my aunt and her were laughing about it...so was i a bit it was weir but when u gotta save face...
cut to when i get home...i get my phone, half expeecting an angry text from either steve or marina...i am not dissapointed...a text from marina is sitting in my inbox...it told me that she wrote the letter not rori (i knew that) and was an abridged version of her letter...at this point i am numb in part of my mouth and inexplicably upset so im like i knew that i dont blame rori in fact i was gonna say u were absolutely right do u think im like that?
she replies no but rori said that u thought it was her well it wasnt it was me ( i am paraphrasing i am getting what i meant and the meaning i evoked from marinas messages)
im like i never said it was her i said its nice to see what my friends really think of me and btw i was lookign for ppl whith phones had i known u were at school today i would made u deal wiht me 2...
next thing i know the girl calls me and shes starting with let me say just one thing...
(YELL PREMATURELY...)
i let her talk for a little bit and then im just like marina..i get it, i do...and i understand ur intentions but be a little nicer about it...she says oh but im jst trying to tell u the truth...i interrupt her and im like theres telling someone the truth and then theres making a person feel so stupid and so damn small...personally when i give advicei try to spare the persons feelings u didnt do that ive taken your point but uve made me feel like absolute crap...
at thi point i have tears strwming down my cheeks and im fighting to keep my voice level...she ends up saying i didnt mean it like that...i just end up saying i have to go talk to you tomorrow and hang up...
well thats my story...
on to lighter news...
went to see brooklyn college yesterday...its lovely, i wanna go there so bad, and the bet part is it doesnt break my mom finantially...yay!...although to te student tour guide i am weird frog girl and the cheater...when someone asks whos depicted in a statue the resourceful thing to do is look at the plaque...he caught me but allowed me to say the answer...im not a cheater i am resourceful...
went on the date with harris (rori and steve doubled with us)...we saw mr woodcock, harris bought way too much popcorn and a sudoku book with steves money (which btw has nothing to do with the present conflict ppl!)..i end up telling harris about my weakness for greek mythology...i wanted this helen of troy book so damn bad...lol
oh and in english class me and two out of the three jennifers in the class are doing a talk show out of frankenstein...its called the frak and stein show and its a episode on neglected kids and their parents and i am frankensteins monster and i have to be dramatic and stuff...lots of fun lol...
well thats it...this has to be the longest one yet...
byebye
well today, i have to go to the dentist and pick up my checks (1500-1600 yay!)...when i realize i need someone with a phone to come at best...either that or a bunch of quarters...so i ask rori, she says no...i ask if steve might come she says she needs him for her italian song...the mrriage of figaro, dont speak italian all i know is that the song is about a bonnet and theres measuring involved...i was like aww crap cuz i need his phone...i guess i pushed it a little too hard...actually, i know i pushed it too hard...when ur an only child u tend to gain that ability i guess...but more on that little peice of philosophical psychology later...(side note..got a 92 on my psych quiz yay!)
well, i end up saying a joke which cut really deep but i figured it was funny...sarcasm...works in some instances not in this one...
(INSERT ALL OF THE AUDIENCES YELLING HERE...you will all have sore throats by the time i am done)
i was like i used to say u had no mean bones in ur body i guess i was wrong...(note to myself...i am not funny...repeat this maxim to yourself over and over again)
well the day goes by i run into steve and im like i was gonna ask u if u wanted to go to manhatten to pick up my checks and hes like sure ill go...then 6th rolls around and hes like rori needs me...i was like crap just lend me ur phone ill give it back...its his brand knew sidekick id i shoulda known better...
well, go to clover and ask rori again if she wants to go (i figured if she went so did the phone i mean steve the owner of the phone) she said no cuz she got into trouble for yesterday (my first officialdate with harris, had fun but it was a mized bag).., she says call harris, so i do...hes sick...poor harris ill send some cyber benadryl and ibuprofen
so i end up asking steve again and out of nowhere (at least to me) rori rushed out of the room and m like okay what just happened...steve hands me this letter from marina, basically addressing my issues and why me and harris piss her off so much...all i end up wanting to do is throw a chair at her...a really big chair...
(CUE INCESSANT YELLING...see isnt that fun?)
cuz isnt there a way to be nicer about that? seriously...personally when i give advice...when i was in a position to give it...i was nicer about it, cuz theres giving advice, and making a person feel sstupid...in yhe last fight, she actually told me, christine your been very very stupid and if he hurts you again ill never talk to you anymore...please...ive given her advice she hasnt taken (prolly cuz i have no life experience) and i would never desert her, if she took it or not, because friendship isnt taken advice to me...i think thats the only thing i can argue with, every other aspect i am dead wrong
im off the subject...my bad
well back to it...well at this point i am painfully upset, cuz i act the same with steve as i do with jimmy and sheets...steve is going down to meet rori and i have to go in that same direction...i have the letter in my hand and im like rori i read ur note its nice to see what u really think of me...i dont think she heard that but she definately was mad at me...and when rori is mad u know you have done something absolutely terrible...
(YELL NOW AGAIN...would u like a soothing throat lozenge?)
well as i am on my way to columbus circle to pick up my mullah i end up writing a very very long letter to vent...like six seven pages...its almost done but not quite...im not sending it, the last thing i want is my friends mad at me...AGAIN...
then i get my money...i liked the amount in total...around 1600 yay!...then i bought a small carribean passion smoothie from jamba juice...after that i felt better...it had energy boost in it too so by the time i get to the dentist with my mom im wide awake...that guaranas better than caffiene (which reminds me, marcus is back in florida...and i have his stuff...he had diabetes...type 2....who knew?)...they cap my tooth and my mom gets a filling and i laugh cuz apparentl they fund another cavity in the tooth next to that one...who am i kidding one tooth in my mouth is fake! it was my favorite tooth too...(cuz there was a big circular hle in it...i thought it was a birthmark not a giant cavity that spells death for my tooth)...
we run into my aunt on the way out and my mom fills her in on my date with harris...she thinks its cute and she tells her all the stories she has on his...well...slight ineptness at dating (who am i kidding im prolly worse) my aunt and her were laughing about it...so was i a bit it was weir but when u gotta save face...
cut to when i get home...i get my phone, half expeecting an angry text from either steve or marina...i am not dissapointed...a text from marina is sitting in my inbox...it told me that she wrote the letter not rori (i knew that) and was an abridged version of her letter...at this point i am numb in part of my mouth and inexplicably upset so im like i knew that i dont blame rori in fact i was gonna say u were absolutely right do u think im like that?
she replies no but rori said that u thought it was her well it wasnt it was me ( i am paraphrasing i am getting what i meant and the meaning i evoked from marinas messages)
im like i never said it was her i said its nice to see what my friends really think of me and btw i was lookign for ppl whith phones had i known u were at school today i would made u deal wiht me 2...
next thing i know the girl calls me and shes starting with let me say just one thing...
(YELL PREMATURELY...)
i let her talk for a little bit and then im just like marina..i get it, i do...and i understand ur intentions but be a little nicer about it...she says oh but im jst trying to tell u the truth...i interrupt her and im like theres telling someone the truth and then theres making a person feel so stupid and so damn small...personally when i give advicei try to spare the persons feelings u didnt do that ive taken your point but uve made me feel like absolute crap...
at thi point i have tears strwming down my cheeks and im fighting to keep my voice level...she ends up saying i didnt mean it like that...i just end up saying i have to go talk to you tomorrow and hang up...
well thats my story...
on to lighter news...
went to see brooklyn college yesterday...its lovely, i wanna go there so bad, and the bet part is it doesnt break my mom finantially...yay!...although to te student tour guide i am weird frog girl and the cheater...when someone asks whos depicted in a statue the resourceful thing to do is look at the plaque...he caught me but allowed me to say the answer...im not a cheater i am resourceful...
went on the date with harris (rori and steve doubled with us)...we saw mr woodcock, harris bought way too much popcorn and a sudoku book with steves money (which btw has nothing to do with the present conflict ppl!)..i end up telling harris about my weakness for greek mythology...i wanted this helen of troy book so damn bad...lol
oh and in english class me and two out of the three jennifers in the class are doing a talk show out of frankenstein...its called the frak and stein show and its a episode on neglected kids and their parents and i am frankensteins monster and i have to be dramatic and stuff...lots of fun lol...
well thats it...this has to be the longest one yet...
byebye
Thursday, September 20, 2007
The Phantom Of The Opera
hey,sorry for my long hiatus, just with school and everything its been kinda hard to be on top of this like i should be...anyhoo, my classes lowdown
i start third...finally...
3rd- ap english literature (steve wants this class so bad and with good reason he deserves it)
4th- health...sheets is here with me so is karen its actually fun
5th- independent study math...really program office slavery, i mean service
6th- ap psychology...really fun, not what i expected, but still what i expected
7th- clover...need i say more?
2nd i have college office service...themost beneficial job to a senior
and after school i have swimming
two days ago i saw the phantom of the opera on broadway...(loving ms paybarah)...it was awesome...orchestra seats...we were able to see the whites of the actors' eyes...loved the actors performances
harris, rori, steve, sheets, and my mom came...it was fun i had a smoothie afterward...
but the show made me realize something...maybe i love phantom of the opera so much because it reminds me so much of my own life of late...considering the main female bears my name, has some physical characteristics that we both share (curlybrown hair, pale skin, an interest in music...hers is talent mine is just randomness)...take this
joey and jimmy just started doing better,and in turn, me and jimmy were actually back to normal (i had regained "poofy" status)...then harris does something kinda stupid, jimmy gets mad...like, really mad...and my name gets brought back into their conflict, which was really mine and harris's conflict...then when i decided forgiveness was the better way, everyone goes ballistic, except harris i guess, at least his wasnt on me...in the end, one thirteen year friendship got ruined, rori bursted into tears, marina showed up at harris's doorstep with a knife, sheets almost left us...all my fault...partly harris's but mostly mine...if i hadnt started this six months ago when i gave into my feelings for harris (not that i regret that in any way, i love harris with mostly everything i have to give) , jimmy wwouldnt have sank into suicidal depression and gotten back on the drugs again...apparenly he hasnt slept for about a week now...
can you believe it? the first time i make a desision that was good for me...something that would make me happy without the benefit (or deficit) of making everyone around me happy...the whole world gets turned upside down...my whole world go turned upside down...and the sucky thing is...its kinda like a snowglobe...this whole thing...it got all shaken up, and the snow peices were just falling back peacefully onto the snowglobe's floor...and then without warning, the blizzard just starts back up again...
who shakes that snowglobe? fate? or is it just me...is it just me making my mistakes and trying to right my wrongs that shakes up the snowglobe that is my life...
i start third...finally...
3rd- ap english literature (steve wants this class so bad and with good reason he deserves it)
4th- health...sheets is here with me so is karen its actually fun
5th- independent study math...really program office slavery, i mean service
6th- ap psychology...really fun, not what i expected, but still what i expected
7th- clover...need i say more?
2nd i have college office service...themost beneficial job to a senior
and after school i have swimming
two days ago i saw the phantom of the opera on broadway...(loving ms paybarah)...it was awesome...orchestra seats...we were able to see the whites of the actors' eyes...loved the actors performances
harris, rori, steve, sheets, and my mom came...it was fun i had a smoothie afterward...
but the show made me realize something...maybe i love phantom of the opera so much because it reminds me so much of my own life of late...considering the main female bears my name, has some physical characteristics that we both share (curlybrown hair, pale skin, an interest in music...hers is talent mine is just randomness)...take this
joey and jimmy just started doing better,and in turn, me and jimmy were actually back to normal (i had regained "poofy" status)...then harris does something kinda stupid, jimmy gets mad...like, really mad...and my name gets brought back into their conflict, which was really mine and harris's conflict...then when i decided forgiveness was the better way, everyone goes ballistic, except harris i guess, at least his wasnt on me...in the end, one thirteen year friendship got ruined, rori bursted into tears, marina showed up at harris's doorstep with a knife, sheets almost left us...all my fault...partly harris's but mostly mine...if i hadnt started this six months ago when i gave into my feelings for harris (not that i regret that in any way, i love harris with mostly everything i have to give) , jimmy wwouldnt have sank into suicidal depression and gotten back on the drugs again...apparenly he hasnt slept for about a week now...
can you believe it? the first time i make a desision that was good for me...something that would make me happy without the benefit (or deficit) of making everyone around me happy...the whole world gets turned upside down...my whole world go turned upside down...and the sucky thing is...its kinda like a snowglobe...this whole thing...it got all shaken up, and the snow peices were just falling back peacefully onto the snowglobe's floor...and then without warning, the blizzard just starts back up again...
who shakes that snowglobe? fate? or is it just me...is it just me making my mistakes and trying to right my wrongs that shakes up the snowglobe that is my life...
Sunday, August 26, 2007
entry 10= mama who bore me/ mama im a big girl now
hey again....really into spring awakening now thank you rori lol...wanna get the soundtrack now the song title used is the first song in it
sheets, apology has been accepted, and nxt time ill think before i shoot off random stuff...i never meant to hurt sammy i meant to make her think because all i knew was roris side...i heard shes been a lil sad latelyactually tell her feel better for me...
jimmy and harris got back together....i know that sounds funny lol...but there getting better and stuff...its just ike old times...before everything...except im really not in it anymore... can certantly understand why tho...considering the circumstances...i still feel so bad about that...i can say im estatically happy, but with a very guilty concience...
works been fun...we got to watch forest freak out...me an brit were laughing so hard
here are all seven guys in detail
kamil- dude from my school, graduated last year...very big on gambling, dice especially, he taught me how to play and ive played a bit and im pretty good...dont put me in vegas lol...2nd year
vlad- short for vladamir...really nice, has offereed to sit time for me, hails from bulgaria comes over in the summers to lifeguard, and i think hes a snowboarding coach over there...not sure tho...pretty blue eyes lol...cal them s i seee them...4th year but 1st year @ dry dock
dan- short for dardan...wickedly peverted, but still really nice,hit on rori yet still has a gf, hails from albania, only other rookie, already went back to albania not to return, has very chavanistic ideas about the roles of women...1st year, and only year probably
josh- insanely tall, relatively nice, rumor is hes next in line for lieutenant...has a penchant for tagging everything in sight with the word ames...the guy wiht the radio thats forever playing ganster rap...4th or 5th year...not as obsessed with money as...
jose- relatively nice guy, makes chair schedules and hes been since his rookie year 4 years ago...holds down like two or three lifeguarding jobs at the same time...his phrase is good money...
i guess he just likes money...
forest- real name is demitrious...the general ass of the pool...12th yea...he be very old...hes greek i believe, hangs out with the kids then tries to kill them...big smoker and a general nuisance
ted- the lieutenant...need i say more?
well anyhoo...i broke a vacumn and cuz i was out too late today i cant hang tomorrow i am verysad...
i kinda miss harris...rori reminded me that its going to be 6 moonths soon...6!thats insane...i hae the best idea for it too...
OH YEA THAT REMNDS ME...the reason why ths blog is named how it is (spring awakening/ hairspray)
my mom apparently knows about me and harris, she confided that to ginie who fortunatly didnt spill...she did pretty well from what i understand i apologixe to ginie for dobting her lol...my mom was like its harris hes at it again this is striketwo if anything else hapens ull never see him again...i didnt know wht to do...so i callharris and he brings in rori and together they clm me down...then my mom texts and apologizes...now hariswants to ve really carefill and stuff, yet i have been stopped caring if we get caught or not i love him too much actually...idk...im @ a loss here...
i read pplz blogs todahy it was fun
thats what haooens when u breal tehm hairderesses
lol
anyhhoo...imma go now cuz i am very tired
bye
sheets, apology has been accepted, and nxt time ill think before i shoot off random stuff...i never meant to hurt sammy i meant to make her think because all i knew was roris side...i heard shes been a lil sad latelyactually tell her feel better for me...
jimmy and harris got back together....i know that sounds funny lol...but there getting better and stuff...its just ike old times...before everything...except im really not in it anymore... can certantly understand why tho...considering the circumstances...i still feel so bad about that...i can say im estatically happy, but with a very guilty concience...
works been fun...we got to watch forest freak out...me an brit were laughing so hard
here are all seven guys in detail
kamil- dude from my school, graduated last year...very big on gambling, dice especially, he taught me how to play and ive played a bit and im pretty good...dont put me in vegas lol...2nd year
vlad- short for vladamir...really nice, has offereed to sit time for me, hails from bulgaria comes over in the summers to lifeguard, and i think hes a snowboarding coach over there...not sure tho...pretty blue eyes lol...cal them s i seee them...4th year but 1st year @ dry dock
dan- short for dardan...wickedly peverted, but still really nice,hit on rori yet still has a gf, hails from albania, only other rookie, already went back to albania not to return, has very chavanistic ideas about the roles of women...1st year, and only year probably
josh- insanely tall, relatively nice, rumor is hes next in line for lieutenant...has a penchant for tagging everything in sight with the word ames...the guy wiht the radio thats forever playing ganster rap...4th or 5th year...not as obsessed with money as...
jose- relatively nice guy, makes chair schedules and hes been since his rookie year 4 years ago...holds down like two or three lifeguarding jobs at the same time...his phrase is good money...
i guess he just likes money...
forest- real name is demitrious...the general ass of the pool...12th yea...he be very old...hes greek i believe, hangs out with the kids then tries to kill them...big smoker and a general nuisance
ted- the lieutenant...need i say more?
well anyhoo...i broke a vacumn and cuz i was out too late today i cant hang tomorrow i am verysad...
i kinda miss harris...rori reminded me that its going to be 6 moonths soon...6!thats insane...i hae the best idea for it too...
OH YEA THAT REMNDS ME...the reason why ths blog is named how it is (spring awakening/ hairspray)
my mom apparently knows about me and harris, she confided that to ginie who fortunatly didnt spill...she did pretty well from what i understand i apologixe to ginie for dobting her lol...my mom was like its harris hes at it again this is striketwo if anything else hapens ull never see him again...i didnt know wht to do...so i callharris and he brings in rori and together they clm me down...then my mom texts and apologizes...now hariswants to ve really carefill and stuff, yet i have been stopped caring if we get caught or not i love him too much actually...idk...im @ a loss here...
i read pplz blogs todahy it was fun
thats what haooens when u breal tehm hairderesses
lol
anyhhoo...imma go now cuz i am very tired
bye
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
entry9=goodbye love
well its true
here is what happened today
i got a zune on my last day off and the thing is my child lol...its a halo one with these funny videos...okay not my point
well i go to hang out with sheets, sammy (his sister), rori, and steve...well i break out my zune and me and rori get into pippin...were all singing along and stuff and steve called us bitches lol...well that got us mad so we kinda walked ahead...then steve and sammy pulled our hair and walk ahead of us with sheets...me and rori cross the strret and i go to buy water...they take that ike we left them and they leave...so me and rori go to queens center as was the plan as told to me...turns out we were in the wrong mall...so they come but by tht time were seriously POed so were ke ignoring them and stuff...so at some point i come up to sheets and im trying to explain that we werent being mean...we were just reminising over pippin (lol)...and sammy kinda kept interrupting and stuff...and without thinking i throw a very mean shot at her...like a below the belt thing...which i honestly felt really bad for like thirty seconds later...then steve calls and sheets is all like u made a ten year old cry ur a bitch (which i am how did he not see that before? honestly...lol) then he hung up on me...at the same time rori is mad at steve (which got fixed)...when we al meet up again sheets is telling me that marcus is going to die and he hopes ill cry my eyes out at that cuz i killed his sisters emotions...at least im not physically killing ppl was what i was thinking at the time... (more on that later) and sammys all like i am so happy u didnt go to rent (which honestly i think she meant a little bit things like that come with a little meaning)...then when i apologized they called me hypocritical....TWICE...im evil but ive never been a hypocrite to anyone...ive always been open with everyone...its my flaw...especially sheets...him saing that was the worst thing he could have said to me actually...then he finds out the whole story on marcus...liek the thins i forgot to tell him...(again more on that later)...well everythings fixed now so its okay...
now the deal on marcus...no point keeping it a secret now that hes gone...he signed up fo the marines and was going to leave in september...but his friends found out and kicked him out...which ultimately bumped up his leaving date to today...when sheets threw in my face that marcus was going to die in iraq...which god forbid may actually happen...its four months of boot camp then four years of iraq...in the front lines in a tank killing terrorists...apparently ppl have died in training too...marcus is a brother to me...hes essentially the big brother i never had...and hes helped me through so much...i hnestly dont know what id do without him...the worst part is that i have to tel brittany (the sister i never had) mhyself...and i have o tel her i got the stuff hes saving...his mons ring and a neclace with anointing oil in it...the ring is his moms love and the oil to reming him to be reay to pray for anyone at any time...i remember exactly what he said to me...he was like do you remember when u said i was the glue holding everyone together? i aid yea...and he was like well i am passing that onto you because i want you to step in and take the lead ad be the glue i was...something to that effect...the pressure is on...the sucky thing was...he predicted the whole hing with harris...im actually not suposed to tell...but marcus got a few future predicting dreams and raised a lot of hopes for me...i cant actually say anymore lol...honestly im so scared for him...he ca hande himself but im scared all the more because hes inthe front...in a big giant portable gun...hes not coming back till im 21...and brit would be 16...or 17...
all of this...coupled wih he fact that i havent seen or spoken with harris in like three weeks...has thrown me into insanity....maybe im paranoid...or maybe this is the deterioration of my sanity...bye bye everyone...hello padded walls...
here is what happened today
i got a zune on my last day off and the thing is my child lol...its a halo one with these funny videos...okay not my point
well i go to hang out with sheets, sammy (his sister), rori, and steve...well i break out my zune and me and rori get into pippin...were all singing along and stuff and steve called us bitches lol...well that got us mad so we kinda walked ahead...then steve and sammy pulled our hair and walk ahead of us with sheets...me and rori cross the strret and i go to buy water...they take that ike we left them and they leave...so me and rori go to queens center as was the plan as told to me...turns out we were in the wrong mall...so they come but by tht time were seriously POed so were ke ignoring them and stuff...so at some point i come up to sheets and im trying to explain that we werent being mean...we were just reminising over pippin (lol)...and sammy kinda kept interrupting and stuff...and without thinking i throw a very mean shot at her...like a below the belt thing...which i honestly felt really bad for like thirty seconds later...then steve calls and sheets is all like u made a ten year old cry ur a bitch (which i am how did he not see that before? honestly...lol) then he hung up on me...at the same time rori is mad at steve (which got fixed)...when we al meet up again sheets is telling me that marcus is going to die and he hopes ill cry my eyes out at that cuz i killed his sisters emotions...at least im not physically killing ppl was what i was thinking at the time... (more on that later) and sammys all like i am so happy u didnt go to rent (which honestly i think she meant a little bit things like that come with a little meaning)...then when i apologized they called me hypocritical....TWICE...im evil but ive never been a hypocrite to anyone...ive always been open with everyone...its my flaw...especially sheets...him saing that was the worst thing he could have said to me actually...then he finds out the whole story on marcus...liek the thins i forgot to tell him...(again more on that later)...well everythings fixed now so its okay...
now the deal on marcus...no point keeping it a secret now that hes gone...he signed up fo the marines and was going to leave in september...but his friends found out and kicked him out...which ultimately bumped up his leaving date to today...when sheets threw in my face that marcus was going to die in iraq...which god forbid may actually happen...its four months of boot camp then four years of iraq...in the front lines in a tank killing terrorists...apparently ppl have died in training too...marcus is a brother to me...hes essentially the big brother i never had...and hes helped me through so much...i hnestly dont know what id do without him...the worst part is that i have to tel brittany (the sister i never had) mhyself...and i have o tel her i got the stuff hes saving...his mons ring and a neclace with anointing oil in it...the ring is his moms love and the oil to reming him to be reay to pray for anyone at any time...i remember exactly what he said to me...he was like do you remember when u said i was the glue holding everyone together? i aid yea...and he was like well i am passing that onto you because i want you to step in and take the lead ad be the glue i was...something to that effect...the pressure is on...the sucky thing was...he predicted the whole hing with harris...im actually not suposed to tell...but marcus got a few future predicting dreams and raised a lot of hopes for me...i cant actually say anymore lol...honestly im so scared for him...he ca hande himself but im scared all the more because hes inthe front...in a big giant portable gun...hes not coming back till im 21...and brit would be 16...or 17...
all of this...coupled wih he fact that i havent seen or spoken with harris in like three weeks...has thrown me into insanity....maybe im paranoid...or maybe this is the deterioration of my sanity...bye bye everyone...hello padded walls...
Saturday, July 28, 2007
entry 8=la vie boheme
ill admit it...my job is fun, but its getting to me...i dont sleep much anymore, and when i do its at very bad times...nothing can really be done about it so i live in a slight haze everyday lol...they moved me from pitt to dry dock...lots of fun both places...but the life cafe (from RENT!) is a block away from dry dock so that edges out....HAHA JOEY S! I FOUND IT...lol jk ur the first one going on my day off...sorry joey h....
today i got gang dunked for an hour straight...not fun...it hurt...the pushed me into the water and would not let me out for nothing in the world...they werent old but they were older than me...the one dunking me the most was huge, like when i splashed him to get away the water didnt touch his face...forest (dude from work) kept saying that dude liked me...im not sure but i think he felt me up...i beat the crap out of him the best i could, what with lack of oxygen and him being so gargantuan...
friday marked me and aiyanna on decent terms....lol....friday made me extemely sad...and hating the corrupt miliary system that takes people t fight in a pointless war over oil and beach houses in the hamptons...(lol jk...but it is pointless)...
my day off on tuesday was fun...marked another pointless fight between me and harris...its over and were okay now...i learned one thing tho...when someone says i love you...sometimes they really mean it...
sometimes i wonder what there is to love about me...im crazy neurotic but still a mess...im clingy like freaking white on rice...im stubborn, im blonde now thanks to chlorine...im competative over everything...people are crazy...im crazy...people are crazy for assosiating wiht the crazy
i have to write a poem about film and the american dream for eternal ink...idk whatto write...im so jalous of sheets...he writes page after page without breaking a sweat, i try and its all crap...lower than crap actually....
ginies in el salvador lol
brits going to florida soon...shes been comijng to work with me actually...i passed her off as my sister and we pulled it off...ppl ask if shes my daughter...its so funny im like im younger than u think abd shes older than you think...today i went alone and eeeryboys like wheres ur sister...we cane up with this elaborate story lol its so funny and people buy it...ppl are gulible...well so am i...yet another reason not to assosiate with the crazy
i have dmitted to extreme fatigue...all i wanna do is sleep now but this neede to be done so it was...i feel bad for harris every time were on the phone ijust fall asleep...orry harris m working on it...
praying for beauty an the beast next year...all of you pray...i wanna be belle lol
well im going to go now...so people can read my thoughts and stuff
bye
(prayers for marcus)
today i got gang dunked for an hour straight...not fun...it hurt...the pushed me into the water and would not let me out for nothing in the world...they werent old but they were older than me...the one dunking me the most was huge, like when i splashed him to get away the water didnt touch his face...forest (dude from work) kept saying that dude liked me...im not sure but i think he felt me up...i beat the crap out of him the best i could, what with lack of oxygen and him being so gargantuan...
friday marked me and aiyanna on decent terms....lol....friday made me extemely sad...and hating the corrupt miliary system that takes people t fight in a pointless war over oil and beach houses in the hamptons...(lol jk...but it is pointless)...
my day off on tuesday was fun...marked another pointless fight between me and harris...its over and were okay now...i learned one thing tho...when someone says i love you...sometimes they really mean it...
sometimes i wonder what there is to love about me...im crazy neurotic but still a mess...im clingy like freaking white on rice...im stubborn, im blonde now thanks to chlorine...im competative over everything...people are crazy...im crazy...people are crazy for assosiating wiht the crazy
i have to write a poem about film and the american dream for eternal ink...idk whatto write...im so jalous of sheets...he writes page after page without breaking a sweat, i try and its all crap...lower than crap actually....
ginies in el salvador lol
brits going to florida soon...shes been comijng to work with me actually...i passed her off as my sister and we pulled it off...ppl ask if shes my daughter...its so funny im like im younger than u think abd shes older than you think...today i went alone and eeeryboys like wheres ur sister...we cane up with this elaborate story lol its so funny and people buy it...ppl are gulible...well so am i...yet another reason not to assosiate with the crazy
i have dmitted to extreme fatigue...all i wanna do is sleep now but this neede to be done so it was...i feel bad for harris every time were on the phone ijust fall asleep...orry harris m working on it...
praying for beauty an the beast next year...all of you pray...i wanna be belle lol
well im going to go now...so people can read my thoughts and stuff
bye
(prayers for marcus)
Sunday, July 1, 2007
entry 7=famous last words
well...friday was interesting...very...aiyanna says shes fogotten this whole thing...but if she did it would be water under the bridge wouldnt it? hypocrite...oh well good riddance...as long as im not left alone by the ppl who really matter...ginie and herfriend did that...taking joey h with them...not prety...id something painfully stupid...its over now...the situation, not the relationship...definately not the relationship...
well, my mom got wind of this...and lets just say it wasnt a nice thing...i dont wanna get into it...
am currently at ginies house...did not want to be home...at all...but my mom ended up getting me from joey s's house and i had to take it in silence....like i always do...i hate that...i hate that i look so independent...with my job and everything, and i still am under the influence of parents, and i take everything everyone throws at me...even when i heartily disagree...shes essentially trying to separate me from the best friend ever (out of the guys, only because hes...just him...the others unerstand loll) and i hate it....i hate what she says, i hate what shes doing, and i hate that i am the one who hears it and i cant just SAY SOMETHING...
being silent sucks
eve this blog's secrecy sucks...i wanna be able to say what i want...without keeping it secret...she says shes sorry, she says everything but she wont just stop...cuz punishing him punishes me more and she knows it but she doesnt care...
this is the only thing i have felt strongly enough to defy anyone for...and defy and defy i will...silently...as is my wont...my way...my method to this madness...
as for the whole aiyanna thing...it can be fixed...but she needs to cometo me...that nonsense from last friday needs to leave like the attitude she emits...and i can be friends with her...but i cant tell her crap ever...not unless she proves worthy of my easily obtained trust...thats bad i knoe...but its always been me...and its gonna be my downfall...i say what needs tp be said to keep my noisy silence...but thats not the wa to live is it?
i am on one side...but all of my actions will have to support the other...to keep my status with the other...but still be able to see the first side...the side i actually want to see win this...and that side is the side that is trying to do something that isnt going to hurt me...cuz even thought ive been hurt by them before...i know that that persons going to comethrough and make sure everything works out...for the good...
i think ive cried more this last couple of weeks than i have in my entire life....
when i look back on this when i get older...when im actually happy...when im away from all of this...possibly when i am married and have my own kids...maybe that opposing side will relent...but believe me...when she sees the day that i am happy and she had nothing to do with it...she will rue all of this...becuase she wouldve wanted to be a part of my desisions when it came to this...and she wont cuz she ripped into the whole thing without mercy...
i do undertand a bit where she is coming from...but her execution of her plans does not help her intentions...f anything her intention is being tainted...cuz all she wants to do is not to see me hurt...and shes doing the hurting more than he was (i say was cuz im pretty sure hed never hurt me...at least in this way...again)
he better win this... dont know what id do if i couldnt see him ever again...i want me and her to be okay...but friends have always meant way more to me than anything...and he means a lot to me....so does she...and i love them both...
both need to understand...whatever they do to each other hurts me the most...and if they dnt wanna see me hurt...they need to look at hat they are doing before they do it...
in other news...
screwed up @ my job yesterday (possibly from thinking baout all of this)
am off tody and next sunday yay!
saw some bits of british wicked lol
got recordings of steve singing defying gravity (no steve i am not deleting it)
my grandmother comes next week...shes staying for the summer
have to go home @ 8...dont remind me
have to keep the smile on my face for as long as i can...thisis a different side of the family...they dont know crap about this....or about me...
c ya l8r
i may not be back for awhile...for three possible reason
1) work...too busy
2)this blog being discovered
3) if i am no longer alive to write more...
bye
this blog is this color because i dont know what color tears are and clear isnt here...so red will suffice...the of courage and force (had to look that up...lmao)
well, my mom got wind of this...and lets just say it wasnt a nice thing...i dont wanna get into it...
am currently at ginies house...did not want to be home...at all...but my mom ended up getting me from joey s's house and i had to take it in silence....like i always do...i hate that...i hate that i look so independent...with my job and everything, and i still am under the influence of parents, and i take everything everyone throws at me...even when i heartily disagree...shes essentially trying to separate me from the best friend ever (out of the guys, only because hes...just him...the others unerstand loll) and i hate it....i hate what she says, i hate what shes doing, and i hate that i am the one who hears it and i cant just SAY SOMETHING...
being silent sucks
eve this blog's secrecy sucks...i wanna be able to say what i want...without keeping it secret...she says shes sorry, she says everything but she wont just stop...cuz punishing him punishes me more and she knows it but she doesnt care...
this is the only thing i have felt strongly enough to defy anyone for...and defy and defy i will...silently...as is my wont...my way...my method to this madness...
as for the whole aiyanna thing...it can be fixed...but she needs to cometo me...that nonsense from last friday needs to leave like the attitude she emits...and i can be friends with her...but i cant tell her crap ever...not unless she proves worthy of my easily obtained trust...thats bad i knoe...but its always been me...and its gonna be my downfall...i say what needs tp be said to keep my noisy silence...but thats not the wa to live is it?
i am on one side...but all of my actions will have to support the other...to keep my status with the other...but still be able to see the first side...the side i actually want to see win this...and that side is the side that is trying to do something that isnt going to hurt me...cuz even thought ive been hurt by them before...i know that that persons going to comethrough and make sure everything works out...for the good...
i think ive cried more this last couple of weeks than i have in my entire life....
when i look back on this when i get older...when im actually happy...when im away from all of this...possibly when i am married and have my own kids...maybe that opposing side will relent...but believe me...when she sees the day that i am happy and she had nothing to do with it...she will rue all of this...becuase she wouldve wanted to be a part of my desisions when it came to this...and she wont cuz she ripped into the whole thing without mercy...
i do undertand a bit where she is coming from...but her execution of her plans does not help her intentions...f anything her intention is being tainted...cuz all she wants to do is not to see me hurt...and shes doing the hurting more than he was (i say was cuz im pretty sure hed never hurt me...at least in this way...again)
he better win this... dont know what id do if i couldnt see him ever again...i want me and her to be okay...but friends have always meant way more to me than anything...and he means a lot to me....so does she...and i love them both...
both need to understand...whatever they do to each other hurts me the most...and if they dnt wanna see me hurt...they need to look at hat they are doing before they do it...
in other news...
screwed up @ my job yesterday (possibly from thinking baout all of this)
am off tody and next sunday yay!
saw some bits of british wicked lol
got recordings of steve singing defying gravity (no steve i am not deleting it)
my grandmother comes next week...shes staying for the summer
have to go home @ 8...dont remind me
have to keep the smile on my face for as long as i can...thisis a different side of the family...they dont know crap about this....or about me...
c ya l8r
i may not be back for awhile...for three possible reason
1) work...too busy
2)this blog being discovered
3) if i am no longer alive to write more...
bye
this blog is this color because i dont know what color tears are and clear isnt here...so red will suffice...the of courage and force (had to look that up...lmao)
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
entry 6=fighter
well six flags was awesome...marcus and brittany and me had a blast... but that trip led me and aiyannas friendship to the funeral home...i wash my hands of her....i refuse to waste my time with her anymore...shes a backstabbing b**** who betrays your secrets simply as revenge when she gets pissed...thats not real friendship...oh well...ieve got rori and marina...theyve been better to me anyway...i dont even care about her side of the story...she obviously hates my so called complaining guts (i do complain but i vent and she should know that...thats why i dotn get into fights cand can go to public school unlike her...god forbid she throws a chair at me or something)...so why should i listen to her...all she will tell me are well spun lies like the manipulator she is...she butts in too...and shes changed so much...and the person shes become flies in the face of what i stand for...and shes gone now...and GOOD RIDDANCE!!
anyhoo...aiyanna also aalmost killed my relationship with jo0ey too...i hate her most for that...i didnt even care about her then...i just wanted to fix things with him...and i did...so screw her...and shes a secret betraying liar and i hope she chokes on her head wrap...
onward...to the rest of the trip...me and brit and marcuz attacked all the lil rides and we had a blast...joey and fallon didnt cuz they were with aiyanna, the grudge holding...no i wont say it...poor joey and fallon....marcus bought me and brittany shirts!...that was so nice of hium...i wish hed stay in NYC...hes so cool and hes just this wonderful person...we went on the carosel and me and marcus rode the rooster and brit rode this horse she names shannon...we got dippin dots 2...hes just nthe best....and when we got to the car we were talking about it and joey got pissed cuz he didnt have any fun...lol...sry joey lol
to other business
85 in spanish...v. upset
90 in english, 80 in bio...very happy bout that
100 in clover...happy but i earned that
we are officially seniors...this better be the best year ever...were payong with money out of out buts it better b...
speaking of which i starterd working today!!
lol
well imma go now...bye
anyhoo...aiyanna also aalmost killed my relationship with jo0ey too...i hate her most for that...i didnt even care about her then...i just wanted to fix things with him...and i did...so screw her...and shes a secret betraying liar and i hope she chokes on her head wrap...
onward...to the rest of the trip...me and brit and marcuz attacked all the lil rides and we had a blast...joey and fallon didnt cuz they were with aiyanna, the grudge holding...no i wont say it...poor joey and fallon....marcus bought me and brittany shirts!...that was so nice of hium...i wish hed stay in NYC...hes so cool and hes just this wonderful person...we went on the carosel and me and marcus rode the rooster and brit rode this horse she names shannon...we got dippin dots 2...hes just nthe best....and when we got to the car we were talking about it and joey got pissed cuz he didnt have any fun...lol...sry joey lol
to other business
85 in spanish...v. upset
90 in english, 80 in bio...very happy bout that
100 in clover...happy but i earned that
we are officially seniors...this better be the best year ever...were payong with money out of out buts it better b...
speaking of which i starterd working today!!
lol
well imma go now...bye
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
entry5=bad day
yo my friends are a rather odd set of people who call when your on the train from TWO HOURS of filling out random forms...that was insane. i hate filling out forms...reminds me of dead end jobs...lol
ginies coming over today...she dont knbow i have this blog...most dont. just a couple of my school friends...my mom doesnt know about it...prolly because whenever she finds out things go her way after that. sometimes this isnt a bad thing...just this little piece of the internet...is mine...and i dont care what opinions people have about that opinion...this is mine...
anyhoo...at this moment everyone is hanging out...steve called me when i was on the train...i was reading my new phantom of the opera book i bought from borders...and i mised my stop. i was sposed to get off on 8th, and i ended up on west 4th lol...the rest of the trip went as planned...
well i get home...after two hours of paper work and a forty five minute chase around manhatten for a bank that exempts from taxes...and i figure hey imma call steve...hes like oh were hanging out..im like why didnt u call...and hes like u didnt pick up...im like i was on the train and hes like then thats your fault...him and rori were at sheets's house and harris and marina went too...and i was all alone all day...that sucked
i lost my prettyful phone yesterday in the park...insurance is gonna kick in 2moro i think...which is very good lol...
im currently watching drake and josh make salsa...and spy on megan lol...its really funny..
WE RULE TERABITHIA...AND NOTHING CRUSHES US!!!
saw that on a commercial...i love that line lol....
anyhoo...i have nothing to report really...
so imma be outie now...
as for the blinding colors on my blog
I LIKE THEM AND I AM KEEPING THEM
LOL
bye
ginies coming over today...she dont knbow i have this blog...most dont. just a couple of my school friends...my mom doesnt know about it...prolly because whenever she finds out things go her way after that. sometimes this isnt a bad thing...just this little piece of the internet...is mine...and i dont care what opinions people have about that opinion...this is mine...
anyhoo...at this moment everyone is hanging out...steve called me when i was on the train...i was reading my new phantom of the opera book i bought from borders...and i mised my stop. i was sposed to get off on 8th, and i ended up on west 4th lol...the rest of the trip went as planned...
well i get home...after two hours of paper work and a forty five minute chase around manhatten for a bank that exempts from taxes...and i figure hey imma call steve...hes like oh were hanging out..im like why didnt u call...and hes like u didnt pick up...im like i was on the train and hes like then thats your fault...him and rori were at sheets's house and harris and marina went too...and i was all alone all day...that sucked
i lost my prettyful phone yesterday in the park...insurance is gonna kick in 2moro i think...which is very good lol...
im currently watching drake and josh make salsa...and spy on megan lol...its really funny..
WE RULE TERABITHIA...AND NOTHING CRUSHES US!!!
saw that on a commercial...i love that line lol....
anyhoo...i have nothing to report really...
so imma be outie now...
as for the blinding colors on my blog
I LIKE THEM AND I AM KEEPING THEM
LOL
bye
Monday, June 18, 2007
entry 4=joy
im getting procesed for my job tomorrow hopefully...i so hope i get a decent pool...im sposed to be taking my graduation pictures in two hours....so not happening...i have a zit the size of a crater on the moon on my lip...its so ugly it makes my face look funny...i hate hormones and excess oil on the skin...lol....
joey h's phone is broken and hes getting a new one...i think i found the best phone for him...but considering i cant call him to tell him about it...he's just gonna have to read this...lol...its called the wing...i want it...but my dash is my child practically and no one knocks it cuz its the best phone ever...if i get the wing id be so happy though...
i can't find anyone today...vanessas at my house and im making her a cd...its all christian music...lol...its a nice cd tho imma make one for me 2...aiyanna made one a couple of days ago...her taste leans more toward ginies style of music so my predominantly rock (and crazy rock 2, think evanescence and my chemical romance...doesnt seem all that ezxtreme but to them it is) so her cd may not have everything she wants...but oh well, ginie didnt bring her computer...thats on her...oh sorry her computers broken, shes gonna get a new one...lol...
this is the fourth post in less than two days...perhaps i need to take a break from the art of blogging...the break will end later today when i am bored again...lol...
i didnt know my mom can comment blogs...i wonder if she will see this...if she does...HI MAMI LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!!
im trying to remember everything that happened recently...
oh...steves a renthead now...hes sheets apprentice, i conceded to rosario being relatively decent...and if i get ap calculus or ap spanish of any sort i will cry...to anyone willing to hear me...
miss ap biology...me and steve had a blast in there...and cuz i dropped ap physics, were not lab partners anymore...but we spend half the day together now i think...depends on the program office....they better not screw me over lol...but seriously they better not!
we might hang out today, but my aunt might do my hair so i might not go...thats the price we pay to fit into a random mold temporarily...ive never been a person that fits in volunarily...
imma have to take 3 subject tests!!! POed about that...lol
anyhoo...as of now i am watching frasier and studying for my learners permit!! yay! imma be able to drive in the presence of adults with liscences...n second thought...i kinda want my liscence..lol
anyhoo...must go help the world now...ive helped like two ppl today lol...must continue to spread the joy...lol
joey h's phone is broken and hes getting a new one...i think i found the best phone for him...but considering i cant call him to tell him about it...he's just gonna have to read this...lol...its called the wing...i want it...but my dash is my child practically and no one knocks it cuz its the best phone ever...if i get the wing id be so happy though...
i can't find anyone today...vanessas at my house and im making her a cd...its all christian music...lol...its a nice cd tho imma make one for me 2...aiyanna made one a couple of days ago...her taste leans more toward ginies style of music so my predominantly rock (and crazy rock 2, think evanescence and my chemical romance...doesnt seem all that ezxtreme but to them it is) so her cd may not have everything she wants...but oh well, ginie didnt bring her computer...thats on her...oh sorry her computers broken, shes gonna get a new one...lol...
this is the fourth post in less than two days...perhaps i need to take a break from the art of blogging...the break will end later today when i am bored again...lol...
i didnt know my mom can comment blogs...i wonder if she will see this...if she does...HI MAMI LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!!
im trying to remember everything that happened recently...
oh...steves a renthead now...hes sheets apprentice, i conceded to rosario being relatively decent...and if i get ap calculus or ap spanish of any sort i will cry...to anyone willing to hear me...
miss ap biology...me and steve had a blast in there...and cuz i dropped ap physics, were not lab partners anymore...but we spend half the day together now i think...depends on the program office....they better not screw me over lol...but seriously they better not!
we might hang out today, but my aunt might do my hair so i might not go...thats the price we pay to fit into a random mold temporarily...ive never been a person that fits in volunarily...
imma have to take 3 subject tests!!! POed about that...lol
anyhoo...as of now i am watching frasier and studying for my learners permit!! yay! imma be able to drive in the presence of adults with liscences...n second thought...i kinda want my liscence..lol
anyhoo...must go help the world now...ive helped like two ppl today lol...must continue to spread the joy...lol
Sunday, June 17, 2007
entry3=i am changing
im gonna be a freaking senior next year...in september the group will be seniors...all of us...thats kinda scary...the next show will be ours...mwahaha...well have all the leads....AWESOME...not so worried anymore...
im a bit afraid of college...its so big and no matter how close you are, its further awayfrom everything youve ever known...and nothing changes that...friendships change,ppl change, life changes at college...i dont wanna split up with the group lol...we are so going to college close to each other or haning out every weekend...lol...
i got a letter from harvard two days ago...harvard...as in the biggest ivy league school EVER...apparently if i get lucky i can go for free....idk if i have a shot at it...but id love to try it out...everyone goes to school in boston now...lol...bostons sposed to be college city too...besides new york...i want performing arts so leavin g NYC might be a lil redundant cuz imma have 2 come back anyway....and of course, the dream of me and steve was always oxford...but i think we could settle for harvard...LOL JK JK JK
anyhoo...vanessas coming back over tomorrow...shes cool people...next week will be awesome, despite aiyannas ongoing aaron problem...and my trying to forgive myself for the jimmy thing...i know its not my fault, but i hate that it seems that way...i dont think me and joey and jimmy will ever be the same again...i hate that he strung me along tho...(jimmy liked and currently likes aiyanna...all the while liking me...im an idiot...a big one...but all the same good luck with that one aiyanna)...its such a double standard...but im so not getting into it...its a long story and itll come out piece by piece...so i dont look like such a bad person lol....
well...tomorrow i may or may not get prcessed for my 11.72 an hour job...imma work as a lifeguard lol...itll be the best...as long as nobody dies...joey h better visit my job...and so had the rest of them...i want visitors so i can go on lunch and not be alone lol...
well i think thats it...i may go to sleep now...simply cuz i feel like it...im not that tired...i just wanna sleep...perhaps my subconscious is tired....thats surreal...well thats it i guess....thank you and good night
(o btw...i think you should all expect blogs in bulk when i do happen to post)
bye...walk the plank...lmao
im a bit afraid of college...its so big and no matter how close you are, its further awayfrom everything youve ever known...and nothing changes that...friendships change,ppl change, life changes at college...i dont wanna split up with the group lol...we are so going to college close to each other or haning out every weekend...lol...
i got a letter from harvard two days ago...harvard...as in the biggest ivy league school EVER...apparently if i get lucky i can go for free....idk if i have a shot at it...but id love to try it out...everyone goes to school in boston now...lol...bostons sposed to be college city too...besides new york...i want performing arts so leavin g NYC might be a lil redundant cuz imma have 2 come back anyway....and of course, the dream of me and steve was always oxford...but i think we could settle for harvard...LOL JK JK JK
anyhoo...vanessas coming back over tomorrow...shes cool people...next week will be awesome, despite aiyannas ongoing aaron problem...and my trying to forgive myself for the jimmy thing...i know its not my fault, but i hate that it seems that way...i dont think me and joey and jimmy will ever be the same again...i hate that he strung me along tho...(jimmy liked and currently likes aiyanna...all the while liking me...im an idiot...a big one...but all the same good luck with that one aiyanna)...its such a double standard...but im so not getting into it...its a long story and itll come out piece by piece...so i dont look like such a bad person lol....
well...tomorrow i may or may not get prcessed for my 11.72 an hour job...imma work as a lifeguard lol...itll be the best...as long as nobody dies...joey h better visit my job...and so had the rest of them...i want visitors so i can go on lunch and not be alone lol...
well i think thats it...i may go to sleep now...simply cuz i feel like it...im not that tired...i just wanna sleep...perhaps my subconscious is tired....thats surreal...well thats it i guess....thank you and good night
(o btw...i think you should all expect blogs in bulk when i do happen to post)
bye...walk the plank...lmao
entry 2=addicted
hi again..
i am now obsessed wiht blogging
its fun
i now see why its so addicting lol
well...the lowdown on group drama (the group is both joeys,rori, steve, and marina)
well, both joeys seem to love me very much (yes in that way), i have a rather colorful past with a guy who was in our group but isnt anymore (thats jimmy, eventually ill tell that story, not now, last thing i want is u guys thinking im a bad person)...marina and joey h fight like no tomorrow, we cant ever see pirates of the carribean together again, my bf and my father get along better than me and my dad do...but thats okay...six flags is coming...yay...aiyanna and ginie and fallon i hope are getting some well deserved revenge on a certain jerk named aaron...
church drama and goup drama mixes a lot
ginie and joey h have a past too, but im okay with that...as are they...i hope...sometimes im a lil insecure about it but that passes...aaron goes to my school, and goes over my friends hearts with a steam roller....fallons and ginies to be exact(he just used aiyanna as leverage)...his karma better come soon...lol
well, thats it....the second blog today...yall cn enjoy this, aye?
(oh yea...pirates of the carribean...one of my great loves...lol...
i am now obsessed wiht blogging
its fun
i now see why its so addicting lol
well...the lowdown on group drama (the group is both joeys,rori, steve, and marina)
well, both joeys seem to love me very much (yes in that way), i have a rather colorful past with a guy who was in our group but isnt anymore (thats jimmy, eventually ill tell that story, not now, last thing i want is u guys thinking im a bad person)...marina and joey h fight like no tomorrow, we cant ever see pirates of the carribean together again, my bf and my father get along better than me and my dad do...but thats okay...six flags is coming...yay...aiyanna and ginie and fallon i hope are getting some well deserved revenge on a certain jerk named aaron...
church drama and goup drama mixes a lot
ginie and joey h have a past too, but im okay with that...as are they...i hope...sometimes im a lil insecure about it but that passes...aaron goes to my school, and goes over my friends hearts with a steam roller....fallons and ginies to be exact(he just used aiyanna as leverage)...his karma better come soon...lol
well, thats it....the second blog today...yall cn enjoy this, aye?
(oh yea...pirates of the carribean...one of my great loves...lol...
entry 1=the real me
well, this is me
I am Christine. I like green. I am 17. I like to sing. And act. I love my church and its the best place in the world. I'm not all that close to my family but I love them...Im not that interesting...but i ut my thoughts out there, just because. I think i have the most unpredictable temper ever...lol...I hate calculus and im so happy its over...Im in clover in my school and I love it....I did Aida this year (nehebka) and Pippin the year before (berthe)...I dont know if i did well but people seemed to like it...well...thats all there is to me, besides my aquariusness and my loyalty to meridell in the altador cup lol....i LOVE lord of the rings and phantom of the opera lol and if anyone knockes it hey get problems with me...lol....i swim, im extremely competative, and im pretty decent at poker lol....thats it
I have the best friends in the world...and here they are in detail
Joey H: My bf...awesome dude...lol...possibly the one guy who can reason with me when i go all insane-o...posibbly the most understanding guy in the world as well...lol...thank the lord for guys like him...they keep crazy people sane...and i do happen to be crazy...he was mereb in aida this year ad the head in pipin
Rori: My best friend...shes the best and we all worship her...very good singer and actress...all in all the best person ever...was ensemble in pippin and aida(completely wrongfully she shoulda been a lead)
Steve: Rori's bf, my lab partner (I know that seems like a breakable bond but its really not)...I introduced them, at their wedding they better thank me...the dude whos in like half m classes...if he was in calc with me i dont think i would have done half as badly lol....viola player in aida
Joey S: The most understanding guy who ever lived...possibly one of the best writers too...look out for this guy's book...bestsellers list...hell of an actor...one of the most devoted friends i have ever had...good listener 2...the biggest rent fan you will ever see in your life...pharoah in aida
Marina: The rebel for all our causes...I have never met a girl who defies all like she does...her brofriend must loves her for that (no that is not a typo)...shes tons of fun...incredibly political....ensemble in aida
Aiyanna: My best friend since age 11...the foundation for all wisdom...the introducer of LOTR into my life...
Ginie: My cousin....awesome girl...i love her, but sometimes I wanna kill her...the biggest hello kitty fan EVER...big happy bunny fan 2...picked the wrong guy once, she better not do that again lol jk...
Fallon: The most boy crazy girl ever...need I say more? relatively understanding, incredibly fun...countscalories too much but is awesome anyhow
Marcus: Resides in Florida...animals like chasing him...hes 21 but looks my age...hes cool pplz...i hope the alligators dont come after him again
Vanessa: awesome girl...does wonders with a pen, some paper and a bucket....
Swim Team PPL: that would be amanda, sophie, kelsey, natasha, those guys...lovely ppl...kelsey and natasha are interesting, and sophie and amanda are my swim team chicas
well thats all the ppl i can think of right now...ooh and
JUNIOR HIGH PPL: dont keep in contact like i should but there all awesome and i love all of them so...lol
THATS IT...my rants and raves will come in when i see the need to write them down...lol..
I am Christine. I like green. I am 17. I like to sing. And act. I love my church and its the best place in the world. I'm not all that close to my family but I love them...Im not that interesting...but i ut my thoughts out there, just because. I think i have the most unpredictable temper ever...lol...I hate calculus and im so happy its over...Im in clover in my school and I love it....I did Aida this year (nehebka) and Pippin the year before (berthe)...I dont know if i did well but people seemed to like it...well...thats all there is to me, besides my aquariusness and my loyalty to meridell in the altador cup lol....i LOVE lord of the rings and phantom of the opera lol and if anyone knockes it hey get problems with me...lol....i swim, im extremely competative, and im pretty decent at poker lol....thats it
I have the best friends in the world...and here they are in detail
Joey H: My bf...awesome dude...lol...possibly the one guy who can reason with me when i go all insane-o...posibbly the most understanding guy in the world as well...lol...thank the lord for guys like him...they keep crazy people sane...and i do happen to be crazy...he was mereb in aida this year ad the head in pipin
Rori: My best friend...shes the best and we all worship her...very good singer and actress...all in all the best person ever...was ensemble in pippin and aida(completely wrongfully she shoulda been a lead)
Steve: Rori's bf, my lab partner (I know that seems like a breakable bond but its really not)...I introduced them, at their wedding they better thank me...the dude whos in like half m classes...if he was in calc with me i dont think i would have done half as badly lol....viola player in aida
Joey S: The most understanding guy who ever lived...possibly one of the best writers too...look out for this guy's book...bestsellers list...hell of an actor...one of the most devoted friends i have ever had...good listener 2...the biggest rent fan you will ever see in your life...pharoah in aida
Marina: The rebel for all our causes...I have never met a girl who defies all like she does...her brofriend must loves her for that (no that is not a typo)...shes tons of fun...incredibly political....ensemble in aida
Aiyanna: My best friend since age 11...the foundation for all wisdom...the introducer of LOTR into my life...
Ginie: My cousin....awesome girl...i love her, but sometimes I wanna kill her...the biggest hello kitty fan EVER...big happy bunny fan 2...picked the wrong guy once, she better not do that again lol jk...
Fallon: The most boy crazy girl ever...need I say more? relatively understanding, incredibly fun...countscalories too much but is awesome anyhow
Marcus: Resides in Florida...animals like chasing him...hes 21 but looks my age...hes cool pplz...i hope the alligators dont come after him again
Vanessa: awesome girl...does wonders with a pen, some paper and a bucket....
Swim Team PPL: that would be amanda, sophie, kelsey, natasha, those guys...lovely ppl...kelsey and natasha are interesting, and sophie and amanda are my swim team chicas
well thats all the ppl i can think of right now...ooh and
JUNIOR HIGH PPL: dont keep in contact like i should but there all awesome and i love all of them so...lol
THATS IT...my rants and raves will come in when i see the need to write them down...lol..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
