I've been obsessed with Whose Line is It Anyway? again.
I watched the show when I was a little kid, and I found it on YouTube.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to want to laugh hysterically, yet have to stifle it? You end up shaking. Heh. I downloaded some of the hoedowns to my sidekick, because my iPod is gone.
Always: Buying ym iPod
Never: Losing it.
heh.
I did a Dr. Atomic musical rendition libretto for ym class. It came out to be seven pages long and double columned. Rory saw it, It's covered in like ten different fonts. It took me forever, but I finished it yesterday. And I did an english essay too. And turns out I didnt miss much in Italian. So things seem to be looking up.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
ha ha ha hee hee.
o0oo0o idee daydee daydee daydee idee daydee daii!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Always and Never
Enjoy this vid. Yay, economy humor. Yay, Red vs. Blue.
~*~*~*~
Anyway, I just read Sheets's blog, and remembered I've got a regrets list to do too. Screw you, Harris, your copywrite means nothing. Although it does look quite official.
Okay, so hmmm...regrets...let me think...okay, thats hard. Let's start with the non regrets first. Way to be original. I will now copywrite the word "non-regret."
So, now that that's done...I'm gonna keep it in the Always and Never format, not the regrets thing. What if it is a real copywrite? (ha!)Always is something I'd do again, and never is something I'll stay away from.
I hereby copywrite the Always and Never format of the regrets list. How's that for being original?
~*~*~
Always: Taking the chance with Marcus. Six years of wondering, and now I know. I know way more than I should, but I do know.
Never: Not getting out when I felt like something was wrong. It wasn't fair to either of us. I've got to call him.
Always: Dating Jimmy. I'll leave it at that.
Never: Hurting him that badly.
Always: Maintaining a friendship with Harris. We've been through hell, but it's been a wild ride.
Never: Not blowing up on him when I should have. Good times or not, he put me through hell. Absolute hell. Good times now doesn't exactly absolve him. But either way, things are working out. For now. This is subject to change if he really makes me mad.
Always: Going to CUNY Honors
Never: Taking Italian. I will learn that shit on my own next time. Online classes bite.
Always: Taking Harris coming out with a sense of humor.
Never: Bursting into laughter when I found out about him and Steve. Especially when Rory took it so hard. I think I should have curbed the laughter till the shock subsided on everyone.
Always: Joining the swim team. I learned how to dive!
Never: Letting Townsend whoop our asses so soundly. I go to school with them now. Talk about random.
Always: Going to Disney World for my birthday.
Never: Missing the senior trip.
Always: Being so critical of Sam the first few days I knew her.
Never: Not being critical when something wasn't right.
Always: Getting to know Aiyanna.
Never: Letting her push me around for so long.
Always: My junior high friends. They rocked.
Never: Losing contact with them for so long. They were cool people. I talk to a couple now though.
Always: Not getting in with the Aristites. It wasn't worth the trouble.
Never: Not talking to people in my classes. Steve, Denisse and Maricruz all getting out of English Lit didnt make a good class for me.
Always: Holding in my anger with my mom. My life would suck if I hadn't.
Never: Letting it eat into me for so long. I don't need that drama.
Always: The musicals. Loved every minute. (He's a PINBALL WIZARD)
Never: Trying out for Mrs. Walker when I didn't really like the character, and knowing it wasn't a good fit for me. Rory rocked out.
Always: Getting over Harris in six hours. I must have set some sort of record.
Never: Not waiting at least a month before telling Sheets I liked him, like I was planning on doing. I'm an idiot. An easily influenced, starry-eyed idiot.
Always: Falling for Sheets so painfully fast. I learned more about myself with him than with anybody else. Sure, Harris taught me that patience is a virtue, and Marcus taught me that a person's got to know SOMETHING more than how you think to make a relationship work, but he taught me that falling for someone can be easy, and it can be simple. And I'll always owe him that.
Never: Letting myself get so hurt. And waiting around when I knew it was probably not going to work. I'm an idiot. An easily influenced, starry-eyed idiot.
Always: Dating Ruben. That was a fun month. Also, it proved to me that I could get over someone with time. Four months of pain, and I got out. It was good for me.
Never: Not making sure Jimmy was okay with it. Poor Ruben would have been killed. And I rather liked him. He was sweet.
Always: Meeting mty friends.
Never: Not treating them better.
Always: Learning about LotR and LOST. And all the other things I've grown to love.
Never: Not begging to go to an LotR convention. That would have been so cool.
Ill add more as I think on it.
o0o0o0o0o0o0o
I like this vid too.
Whose Line is it Anyway?
hehe.
eruaphadriel.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Run It
Whee.
I've really been into dance lately.
In this video, ACDC takes down the Miley Cyrus dance crew. With awesome dance moves.
Whee.
Waiting for acting class.
Charging the iPod.
The student center is weird. For me, it doesnt say study area. Anyway, I did my entire Arts of New York project on my sidekick. It's this really weird poem thing. She said you could do an interview with yourself, so I did. I did that whole look inside yourself thing, and came up wiht some random poem. Hope it makes the cut.
Watching the Miley/Mandy side. Be right back.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Somewhere I Belong
Cutting Italian. Didn't do teh homework because the files didnt work. Don't need the pain of him on my back. Plus, I've never missed a Tuesday class, and I've got Monday homework to do. I volunteered to lead the discussion on Wednesday in history. Joy. Should be uber fun.
Anyway...I've decided to write a book, on my own. If I cant finish one, then I have no idea what my backup career is. I really want to act, but I also want to write. Acting has got some crazy issues with actually finding money, and I wouldn't want to use my college education waitressing. And I'm not sitting at a desk all day, hell no. I could teach little kids, thats pretty steady, education utilizing, and energizing. Plus, I went through hell in preschool, I could undo that somehow. Kids apparently love me.
My iPod's nearly dead, so I'm using the school compy to charge it. Yay for economizing.
I ran into David yesterday. Interesting conversation, David is.
Sheets has gone gaga for LOST, Claire, and and the idea of Sawyer and Claire getting together. This is blasphemy. Charlie and Claire have got to be the single sweetest couple ever. It sucks that Charlie's dead, but she's had no time to grieve. Plus, Sawyer's heart lies with Kate. Kate needs some sense knocked into her, actually. Heh, Kate and Jack? Ehh...
I read Harris's new blog. That's rough, man. Your drug thing makes me take back my sympathy though. Either way, sucks to be you.
Rory hates Brooklyn so much, it literally made her sick. As in had to stay home, missing a day of school sick. She's better now, but I was worried. Brooklyn made her sick. If that's not a Godsend sign saying transfer now, I don't know what is. At least she's doing whats good for her.
I haven't heard from Steve in forever. Im gonna IM him when he's online.
As for me, I'm sort of learning that not being engaged can be fun. Harris is trying to teach em how to be forward.
And I'm learning my mom's ruined relationship prospects for me along the way, because she can be scary, and she makes me stay home. Oh well, I know when to stand up and say that its my life and who I date doesnt matter, because I trust them. So far, it's half chance that she'd listen.
Anyway, I'm taking more control. This is a good thing for me, as it's something I never really do.
Anyway...hehe...I cut Italian. God, how I needed the break. Oh well. I get to do some homework. Read my English thingy. Whee.
Well, that's it from me.
Oh, and did you know colleges have semiformals? My program does. I'm so wearing my Pinball Wizard dress. It's gonna rock. And I'm swinging by Hot Topic to get my costume for the Halloween party I desperately want to take somebody to.
Enjoy.
Anyway...I've decided to write a book, on my own. If I cant finish one, then I have no idea what my backup career is. I really want to act, but I also want to write. Acting has got some crazy issues with actually finding money, and I wouldn't want to use my college education waitressing. And I'm not sitting at a desk all day, hell no. I could teach little kids, thats pretty steady, education utilizing, and energizing. Plus, I went through hell in preschool, I could undo that somehow. Kids apparently love me.
My iPod's nearly dead, so I'm using the school compy to charge it. Yay for economizing.
I ran into David yesterday. Interesting conversation, David is.
Sheets has gone gaga for LOST, Claire, and and the idea of Sawyer and Claire getting together. This is blasphemy. Charlie and Claire have got to be the single sweetest couple ever. It sucks that Charlie's dead, but she's had no time to grieve. Plus, Sawyer's heart lies with Kate. Kate needs some sense knocked into her, actually. Heh, Kate and Jack? Ehh...
I read Harris's new blog. That's rough, man. Your drug thing makes me take back my sympathy though. Either way, sucks to be you.
Rory hates Brooklyn so much, it literally made her sick. As in had to stay home, missing a day of school sick. She's better now, but I was worried. Brooklyn made her sick. If that's not a Godsend sign saying transfer now, I don't know what is. At least she's doing whats good for her.
I haven't heard from Steve in forever. Im gonna IM him when he's online.
As for me, I'm sort of learning that not being engaged can be fun. Harris is trying to teach em how to be forward.
And I'm learning my mom's ruined relationship prospects for me along the way, because she can be scary, and she makes me stay home. Oh well, I know when to stand up and say that its my life and who I date doesnt matter, because I trust them. So far, it's half chance that she'd listen.
Anyway, I'm taking more control. This is a good thing for me, as it's something I never really do.
Anyway...hehe...I cut Italian. God, how I needed the break. Oh well. I get to do some homework. Read my English thingy. Whee.
Well, that's it from me.
Oh, and did you know colleges have semiformals? My program does. I'm so wearing my Pinball Wizard dress. It's gonna rock. And I'm swinging by Hot Topic to get my costume for the Halloween party I desperately want to take somebody to.
Enjoy.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Say
Hey, everyone. Cool, I'm being punctual and good with keeping this thing up. So far, at least once a day. Either that, or I'm getting so bored, that I have to do something productive, lest my day be completely wasted.
Today, my Arts of New York teacher commented on my writing to the whole class. Awkward. It was on something I didn't even know I did, and I meant it in a literal sense, not metaphorical. Oh well. Anyway, she thought I was clever, and we go on random trips to see various ballets and operas. If only she'd gotten to RENT sooner. Or Spring Awakening. Or some underground production of Sweeney Todd that I happened to be starring in? Too out there? Whatever.
I got a B- on my English paper. Apparently my biggest weaknesses were structure and editing. I HATE revising papers. It's idea censorship. First drafts are final drafts to me. On the first day, she asked us all what we didn't like about writing. Everybodys saying tthings like they don't like getting bad grades or if it's not any good. When my turn comes, I state my name (standard first day etiquette), and say revising. She lookeed at me like she hadn't expected that, as I continued to say that revising to me is editing ideas, and they're perfectly fine the first time they come out. That's when either some guy or some girl says that it's just revising the structure. I don't remember if I said anything, but I remember thinking "Yeah, tampering with the structure of the idea so it's a different one? Nitpicking? Really?" I guess revising is a part of life.
My italian class is kicking my ass. I know it, but it's not exactly memorized. So it's kicking my ass. I do my homework, so I could get a decent grade. Decent, however, isn't good enough for my mom. Plus, I've got the GPA requirement to think about.
My acting class rocks. My teacher's really zen-ish, really calm. He tells us to "play with the space" and to "experiment with status." The one time I saw him get testy was when this girl's cell went off in the middle of "playing with the words." He didn't yell or anything, but you could sense the agitation.
My history class. On Blackboard, which I can never ever get into. My teacher's no Mr. Guerra, but he can get by. I think I ACED that quiz he gave us.
I have yet to make close Macaulay Honors friends. Sure, there's Natalia, but she's in Queens, and I knew her beforehand. I made an acquaintance/friend in English named Marina. She draws and writes stories, and her characters are living and breathing in her head. Awesome way to write. quite inspiring. She's Scholars, and the Townsend Harris alums in Macaulay Honors always seem to have something to say about her. (Ironically, they were on the Townsend Harris swim team. That's probably why I can't talk to them. Too much Cleveland Loyalty. They pummeled us. I remember having a conversation with a Townsend Harris breaststroker in the disgusting Lane locker rooms. I wonder if she goes to school with me now. I know there's a breaststroker in Honors, I think that one's Sunny (her name). Imagine that was her. Irony.
My Arts of New York professor has us write quotes on the board sometimes. If I get called for one one day, I think I should have some ready. That's why this blog's called "Say." Quotes are said.
Wilson: You know why people are nice to other people?
House: Ooh, I know this one, Because people are good, decent and caring. Either that or they're cowards.
When life is not so nice, remember this advice, Put some vanilla behind your ears and you'll smell like a cookie all day.
Those who cannot remember the past will spend a lot of their time looking for their cars in mall parking lots.
“There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.” J.R.R. Tolkien (genius writer and linguist)
Charlie: Guys, where are we? (Best character on LOST, I don't care what anybody says. I took his fate really badly.)
Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. C.S. Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia)
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
(Last 3 quotes were by Douglas Adams. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I would put more of Tolkien, and even Lewis, but my favorite quotes by them are in fact, all of their books. Too long for a blog. I had to stop myself from adding more from this guy.)
Max: And you know what really pisses me off is I swallowed all those cotton balls and they never even took a damn x-ray.
Hippy Dude: You still have options man.
Max: Yeah, jail or Canada and they both suck. I mean I could never come home, so what is it, it's a choice of a 6x4 cell or an endless wasteland of frozen tundra.
Hippy Dude: Montreal is cool.
Max: Man, they speak French.
Hippy Guitarist: So learn French. Learn French or die.
(Across the Universe rocks.)
Well, I'll have more as they come, as Rory is almost done with ther work study thingy. Cool. I wish I could work. My mom's all like no it'll ruin your GPA.
Oh well. Toodles.
Today, my Arts of New York teacher commented on my writing to the whole class. Awkward. It was on something I didn't even know I did, and I meant it in a literal sense, not metaphorical. Oh well. Anyway, she thought I was clever, and we go on random trips to see various ballets and operas. If only she'd gotten to RENT sooner. Or Spring Awakening. Or some underground production of Sweeney Todd that I happened to be starring in? Too out there? Whatever.
I got a B- on my English paper. Apparently my biggest weaknesses were structure and editing. I HATE revising papers. It's idea censorship. First drafts are final drafts to me. On the first day, she asked us all what we didn't like about writing. Everybodys saying tthings like they don't like getting bad grades or if it's not any good. When my turn comes, I state my name (standard first day etiquette), and say revising. She lookeed at me like she hadn't expected that, as I continued to say that revising to me is editing ideas, and they're perfectly fine the first time they come out. That's when either some guy or some girl says that it's just revising the structure. I don't remember if I said anything, but I remember thinking "Yeah, tampering with the structure of the idea so it's a different one? Nitpicking? Really?" I guess revising is a part of life.
My italian class is kicking my ass. I know it, but it's not exactly memorized. So it's kicking my ass. I do my homework, so I could get a decent grade. Decent, however, isn't good enough for my mom. Plus, I've got the GPA requirement to think about.
My acting class rocks. My teacher's really zen-ish, really calm. He tells us to "play with the space" and to "experiment with status." The one time I saw him get testy was when this girl's cell went off in the middle of "playing with the words." He didn't yell or anything, but you could sense the agitation.
My history class. On Blackboard, which I can never ever get into. My teacher's no Mr. Guerra, but he can get by. I think I ACED that quiz he gave us.
I have yet to make close Macaulay Honors friends. Sure, there's Natalia, but she's in Queens, and I knew her beforehand. I made an acquaintance/friend in English named Marina. She draws and writes stories, and her characters are living and breathing in her head. Awesome way to write. quite inspiring. She's Scholars, and the Townsend Harris alums in Macaulay Honors always seem to have something to say about her. (Ironically, they were on the Townsend Harris swim team. That's probably why I can't talk to them. Too much Cleveland Loyalty. They pummeled us. I remember having a conversation with a Townsend Harris breaststroker in the disgusting Lane locker rooms. I wonder if she goes to school with me now. I know there's a breaststroker in Honors, I think that one's Sunny (her name). Imagine that was her. Irony.
My Arts of New York professor has us write quotes on the board sometimes. If I get called for one one day, I think I should have some ready. That's why this blog's called "Say." Quotes are said.
Wilson: You know why people are nice to other people?
House: Ooh, I know this one, Because people are good, decent and caring. Either that or they're cowards.
When life is not so nice, remember this advice, Put some vanilla behind your ears and you'll smell like a cookie all day.
Those who cannot remember the past will spend a lot of their time looking for their cars in mall parking lots.
“There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.” J.R.R. Tolkien (genius writer and linguist)
Charlie: Guys, where are we? (Best character on LOST, I don't care what anybody says. I took his fate really badly.)
Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. C.S. Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia)
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
(Last 3 quotes were by Douglas Adams. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I would put more of Tolkien, and even Lewis, but my favorite quotes by them are in fact, all of their books. Too long for a blog. I had to stop myself from adding more from this guy.)
Max: And you know what really pisses me off is I swallowed all those cotton balls and they never even took a damn x-ray.
Hippy Dude: You still have options man.
Max: Yeah, jail or Canada and they both suck. I mean I could never come home, so what is it, it's a choice of a 6x4 cell or an endless wasteland of frozen tundra.
Hippy Dude: Montreal is cool.
Max: Man, they speak French.
Hippy Guitarist: So learn French. Learn French or die.
(Across the Universe rocks.)
Well, I'll have more as they come, as Rory is almost done with ther work study thingy. Cool. I wish I could work. My mom's all like no it'll ruin your GPA.
Oh well. Toodles.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Control
Hey, everyone. Just back from my history test. I finished so early I got out of class early. Now I'm in the basement, feeling like talking, so here I am.
I'm not feeling much of anything, really. I've said what I needed to say. I just feel like talking. About randomness. So here goes.
I really wanted to see the new Chris Rock special. Very badly. I don't have HBO, so after it came on I spent a whi9le trying to track it down, and I finally find it on the Chinese version of youtube. Everything's in Chinese. (Thank God the pause, play, forward and backward buttons are universal, because that would have bit.) Anyway, it's taking a good while to load, and I get about halfway through before it conks out and refuses to load any more. Seriously, with a new flawless mac, I should be able to watch Chinese hosted videos whenever I please. Heh.
Well, as I watched Chris Rock's witty observations about this year's campaign, it got me thinking. Both have severe flaws in their campaigns, both have some strengths. I went researching Obama and Clinton during the primary, I feel like I should do some research on McCain and find out what evil is lesser. If I can't decide, I think I'll just vote for the Independent category (as a registered Independent, this seems natural, except that it's Nader.) or some other minor party. Granted, the votes are all going toward the Democrats or the Republicans. I want my first vote to matter. Especially because of my independent registering, I couldn't vote in the primary, much to my mother's delight. At the time, I liked Obama, she was a devout Clintonite. She got to tear up my ballot.
Anyway, now that Independents get their say as well in the upcoming election, perhaps we should be the ones to tip the scales of even blue and red states. We matter, and we should take control of our country. Because Independents are third party, they don't get the recogniton they need and very often deserve. Who are the politicians you hear about the most? Democrats and Republicans. They are the ones who watched as gas prices went up, and as our economy fizzled and died.
McCain's the one who dropped everything to save the economy, forgetting that Presidents have to juggle, and Obama's the one who not only put his no doubt expensive campaign before our sickened economy, but schmoozed the media.
Well, I'm bored, and I've decided to research. The economy's not really my cup of tea, so I decided to research the energy policies on our Independent, Democrat, and Republican nominees.
First up: Nader.
http://www.votenader.org/issues/energy/
(I don't feel like typing.)
Next: Obama.
http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/newenergy
(Again, my fingers hurt from that rant. Maybe I'm well informed, maybe I'm not. If I'm not, Im getting informed now.)
Last: McCain.
http://www.johnmccain.com//Informing/Issues/17671aa4-2fe8-4008-859f-0ef1468e96f4.htm
(One thing I'd like to note, McCain refers to it as American Energy. the other two are just energy. Do I really need to say it?)
I plan to read up before I vote. I think you all should too.
[I did not mean to start ranting. It just fell out.]
Anyway, on to other matters.
I'm in the library. Rory's out there somewhere. I may just abandon my computer to look for her. I can't find Jani either. I'll find them. One day.
I'll talk to you all later.
I'm not feeling much of anything, really. I've said what I needed to say. I just feel like talking. About randomness. So here goes.
I really wanted to see the new Chris Rock special. Very badly. I don't have HBO, so after it came on I spent a whi9le trying to track it down, and I finally find it on the Chinese version of youtube. Everything's in Chinese. (Thank God the pause, play, forward and backward buttons are universal, because that would have bit.) Anyway, it's taking a good while to load, and I get about halfway through before it conks out and refuses to load any more. Seriously, with a new flawless mac, I should be able to watch Chinese hosted videos whenever I please. Heh.
Well, as I watched Chris Rock's witty observations about this year's campaign, it got me thinking. Both have severe flaws in their campaigns, both have some strengths. I went researching Obama and Clinton during the primary, I feel like I should do some research on McCain and find out what evil is lesser. If I can't decide, I think I'll just vote for the Independent category (as a registered Independent, this seems natural, except that it's Nader.) or some other minor party. Granted, the votes are all going toward the Democrats or the Republicans. I want my first vote to matter. Especially because of my independent registering, I couldn't vote in the primary, much to my mother's delight. At the time, I liked Obama, she was a devout Clintonite. She got to tear up my ballot.
Anyway, now that Independents get their say as well in the upcoming election, perhaps we should be the ones to tip the scales of even blue and red states. We matter, and we should take control of our country. Because Independents are third party, they don't get the recogniton they need and very often deserve. Who are the politicians you hear about the most? Democrats and Republicans. They are the ones who watched as gas prices went up, and as our economy fizzled and died.
McCain's the one who dropped everything to save the economy, forgetting that Presidents have to juggle, and Obama's the one who not only put his no doubt expensive campaign before our sickened economy, but schmoozed the media.
Well, I'm bored, and I've decided to research. The economy's not really my cup of tea, so I decided to research the energy policies on our Independent, Democrat, and Republican nominees.
First up: Nader.
http://www.votenader.org/issues/energy/
(I don't feel like typing.)
Next: Obama.
http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/newenergy
(Again, my fingers hurt from that rant. Maybe I'm well informed, maybe I'm not. If I'm not, Im getting informed now.)
Last: McCain.
http://www.johnmccain.com//Informing/Issues/17671aa4-2fe8-4008-859f-0ef1468e96f4.htm
(One thing I'd like to note, McCain refers to it as American Energy. the other two are just energy. Do I really need to say it?)
I plan to read up before I vote. I think you all should too.
[I did not mean to start ranting. It just fell out.]
Anyway, on to other matters.
I'm in the library. Rory's out there somewhere. I may just abandon my computer to look for her. I can't find Jani either. I'll find them. One day.
I'll talk to you all later.
Realize
Can't sleep. Have decided to write a random blog at 3:30 in the morning. Enjoy.
About this whole situation, I'm actually feeling better. I talked to the remnants of the group today mostly, and I think this whole thing could have blown over. Hopefully, I can still call myself a part of the splintered group, and my friends can trust me and things will get to be as normal as they cam possibly be with the group dead, and part of it out of state and the rest of it breaking out of it too.
Maybe that's why I got so sad. Maybe I thought I'd be all alone over here. If that happens, so be it at this point. I'd want them to be happy. I know I'm not leaving the city for anyone, why should they stay using the opposite logic?
Yay, I'm being mature and understanding.
Anyway, I gave everyone the Dharma link. Nobody's told me their groupings yet. If I've given you the site already, there's no time, its only good till the 7th. heres the link.
www.dharmawantsyou.com
Enjoy.
Anyway, I passed out the Sawyer nickname test too. I think it's random, as I've done it like three times and I got three different things, but I'm gonna go with the first one. Little Bo Peep. I think Sawyer could have called me that. Who knows?
Harris is Pud, Sheets is either Truckstop or Chico. I don't know what he's deciding to let the fictional character call him. Oh well. The rest could simply let me know later, I'll add you to this paragraph.
I'm not sure whether to just let bygones be bygones or to let the grudge eat me alive. I don't need that drama. (Everytime I say that, however, drama ensues. Maybe I should avoid those words. Nobody ever needs drama, it comes to you. And if you can't take the lesson it offers simply because you don't think you need it, then perhaps a decent chance has passed you by. Pain can let in some of the best people you'll ever meet.)
Now, let me start that paragraph over, with my newfound epiphany. (God, I wish I hadn't already used that title. Let's try ... realization.)
I'm not sure whether to just let bygones be bygones or to let the grudge eat me alive. I'm of two minds about this. On the one hand, why let go of one of the best friends that I've ever had? On the other hand, the good and the bad is almost even, considering I'm way more twisted than I was before, no matter how over this I ever was. And I know I was over this. One does not go through two guys in four monhs if they're over someone. (God, now I feel like I'm a little loose. I'm not loose, people. Maybe I'm just damaged.) I don't need the double dose of pain. (I've already experienced this drama, I can say that. Double jeopardy is illegal in law, and it should be illegal in life.)
Maybe I'm reading too much into this whole shebang. I think I should just wrap this. I don't even know if it's worth it now. It's clear, the group is splintering further with his and Rory's theoretical leaving. Why should I add more strings that are going to need to be cut anyway? I've already learned long distance is very hard. (Granted, that was a very special case. Other than the revelations, the ex-boyfriends, and the theoretical crimes, I could handle the pressures of long distance. The benefits of space, plus, my occasional clingyness would be welcomes, as they never see me. When you never see someone, it's easy to forget what pisses you off about them. Damn, I'm such a cynic.)
I'm gonna be so tired tomorrow. I've got a history test I'm not nearly prepared for. But, its history. The Mongols, and I pay attention. It can't be too hard. I'll let you all know, I guess.
Thanks, everyone, for listening to my revelations, realizations, and cynicism. I love you all, dear readers, and I shall send you all a fruit bouquet. You know, the pineapple flowers and stuff?
Well, I'm gone. Forensic Files. Did you know about the Zodiac Killer, anyone? He killed two Tauruses. Maybe the astrology thing was just dumb luck. Speaking of luck, Aquarians weren't touched. Go us.
LOL. Bye, everyone. Enjoy.
P.S: Happy birthday to my dad, Natalia from junior high and Macaulay Honors Queens, and Arielle from junior high. Libras. The Zodiac got a Libra. And two Taurus', a Scorpio, a Gemini, a Cancer (I think the Cancer was a homeless guy.) and I think a Virgo. That bites for all of them. I think Aries, Aquarius, Saggitarius, and a few others were safe. So mazeltov to Rory, Liza, and myself. The New York Zodiac would have left us alone at the time being if Orion and the Seven Sisters were not visible. Why am I quoting this? Maybe my mom's right. MAybe we do need counseling. Perhaps I can tun it into a personal therapy session, as long as I avoid family sessions. I think this can be done. Heh.
PPS: They called Harris back. Congrats to him. They didn't call me, but maybe they couldn't read my handwriting. Either way, oh well. I wouldn't have been able to miss school anyway. Maybe I could just go to med school. Perform in operating theaters instead of Broadway ones. (House fever, don't listen to me.) Heh. Bye.
UPDATE: Scratch that. Totally not ready. Studying now. If somebody can be of assistance? Thanks.
About this whole situation, I'm actually feeling better. I talked to the remnants of the group today mostly, and I think this whole thing could have blown over. Hopefully, I can still call myself a part of the splintered group, and my friends can trust me and things will get to be as normal as they cam possibly be with the group dead, and part of it out of state and the rest of it breaking out of it too.
Maybe that's why I got so sad. Maybe I thought I'd be all alone over here. If that happens, so be it at this point. I'd want them to be happy. I know I'm not leaving the city for anyone, why should they stay using the opposite logic?
Yay, I'm being mature and understanding.
Anyway, I gave everyone the Dharma link. Nobody's told me their groupings yet. If I've given you the site already, there's no time, its only good till the 7th. heres the link.
www.dharmawantsyou.com
Enjoy.
Anyway, I passed out the Sawyer nickname test too. I think it's random, as I've done it like three times and I got three different things, but I'm gonna go with the first one. Little Bo Peep. I think Sawyer could have called me that. Who knows?
Harris is Pud, Sheets is either Truckstop or Chico. I don't know what he's deciding to let the fictional character call him. Oh well. The rest could simply let me know later, I'll add you to this paragraph.
I'm not sure whether to just let bygones be bygones or to let the grudge eat me alive. I don't need that drama. (Everytime I say that, however, drama ensues. Maybe I should avoid those words. Nobody ever needs drama, it comes to you. And if you can't take the lesson it offers simply because you don't think you need it, then perhaps a decent chance has passed you by. Pain can let in some of the best people you'll ever meet.)
Now, let me start that paragraph over, with my newfound epiphany. (God, I wish I hadn't already used that title. Let's try ... realization.)
I'm not sure whether to just let bygones be bygones or to let the grudge eat me alive. I'm of two minds about this. On the one hand, why let go of one of the best friends that I've ever had? On the other hand, the good and the bad is almost even, considering I'm way more twisted than I was before, no matter how over this I ever was. And I know I was over this. One does not go through two guys in four monhs if they're over someone. (God, now I feel like I'm a little loose. I'm not loose, people. Maybe I'm just damaged.) I don't need the double dose of pain. (I've already experienced this drama, I can say that. Double jeopardy is illegal in law, and it should be illegal in life.)
Maybe I'm reading too much into this whole shebang. I think I should just wrap this. I don't even know if it's worth it now. It's clear, the group is splintering further with his and Rory's theoretical leaving. Why should I add more strings that are going to need to be cut anyway? I've already learned long distance is very hard. (Granted, that was a very special case. Other than the revelations, the ex-boyfriends, and the theoretical crimes, I could handle the pressures of long distance. The benefits of space, plus, my occasional clingyness would be welcomes, as they never see me. When you never see someone, it's easy to forget what pisses you off about them. Damn, I'm such a cynic.)
I'm gonna be so tired tomorrow. I've got a history test I'm not nearly prepared for. But, its history. The Mongols, and I pay attention. It can't be too hard. I'll let you all know, I guess.
Thanks, everyone, for listening to my revelations, realizations, and cynicism. I love you all, dear readers, and I shall send you all a fruit bouquet. You know, the pineapple flowers and stuff?
Well, I'm gone. Forensic Files. Did you know about the Zodiac Killer, anyone? He killed two Tauruses. Maybe the astrology thing was just dumb luck. Speaking of luck, Aquarians weren't touched. Go us.
LOL. Bye, everyone. Enjoy.
P.S: Happy birthday to my dad, Natalia from junior high and Macaulay Honors Queens, and Arielle from junior high. Libras. The Zodiac got a Libra. And two Taurus', a Scorpio, a Gemini, a Cancer (I think the Cancer was a homeless guy.) and I think a Virgo. That bites for all of them. I think Aries, Aquarius, Saggitarius, and a few others were safe. So mazeltov to Rory, Liza, and myself. The New York Zodiac would have left us alone at the time being if Orion and the Seven Sisters were not visible. Why am I quoting this? Maybe my mom's right. MAybe we do need counseling. Perhaps I can tun it into a personal therapy session, as long as I avoid family sessions. I think this can be done. Heh.
PPS: They called Harris back. Congrats to him. They didn't call me, but maybe they couldn't read my handwriting. Either way, oh well. I wouldn't have been able to miss school anyway. Maybe I could just go to med school. Perform in operating theaters instead of Broadway ones. (House fever, don't listen to me.) Heh. Bye.
UPDATE: Scratch that. Totally not ready. Studying now. If somebody can be of assistance? Thanks.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Teardrop / Prayer of the Refugee
hey, everyone. I'm back, on my iPod, and ready to unload.
Well, I've learned something about myself. I think I'm depressed. I'm always sad, it appears I'm pickjg fights with everyone I care about, and on top of it all, not even MCR has cleared the clouds. On the upside, I'm integrating back into church. I'm teaching three and four year olds about the Bible. Apparently, kids love me. Little kids, specifically. I may consider becoming a teacher, if this acting thing doesn't work. Speaking of acting, Harris provided me with audition info. The show is called Rooftop, and it's a sci-fi show about a pop star with big dreams. I know a kindly alien is involved. It seems sweet. They have yet to call me. Oh well.
I've been watching House religiously. Either this is my brain subconsciously telling me that things could be much worse, or it's telling me that hey, at least I'm not oozing waste out of my mouth, or suffering from a gluten intolerance that results in me killing my infant son. Lost, however, still rocks.
Speaking of Lost, I joined the Dharma Initiative today. I took all the tests and I have been officially classified.
Here is my groupings:
Pandora, Polyphemus are the first two, I forgot the third, the fourth is cronus, the fifth was similar sounding to the third, the sixth was hestia. Apparently I'm gonna be a dharma medic. I did some research, and apparently hestia means medicine. I got all these questions about medicine anyway. In real life, that would never be me. At least I get to go outside the box in Dharma world. If only I could now.
You ever feel like your pushing everybody away?
And the saddest part is that everybodys leaving no matter what I do. So I've gotta figure out how to say goodbye to everyone. Rory hates the commute, that's understandable, as long as we stay in contact, if she's happy away, I can live with that.
I found out maybe a week ago that Sheets might go too. And for some reason we've been fighting for no reason, it comes up, and he's all like thank god I'm leaving. I guess his leaving is his business, and there's nothing I can say about it. But now I feel like an idiot. See, my mom revealed an indiscretion on a friend of mine's part, and she named everything that's ever gone on, including a rumor that he still liked me, or did again. Naturally, i didn't believe a word (one doesn't lose her faith in humanity by trusting them blindly), so i chased the rumor down to the source and they said it was true. So I decided to talk to him. Single most embarrasing conversation of my life, even though I was expecting nothing. I vowed not to expect anything, I don't need the drama of a second time through all this. Well, anyway, i tell him i know, and he says to see where it goes later on. Which wasn't the worst I could have heard, but fickleness always strikes more than once I guess. Anyway, not too long ago I heard he may go too.
I don't want them to go, honestly. But that's selfish. They should go. I know how much Rory hates the commute. Nobody needs an hour and a half long train ride.
I miss Cleveland. Everything was simple. It didn't seem it then, but it was.
From the advice Harris gave me, I shouldn't care what they do. It's their lives. It's all I can do to not care, then. I guess all I can do I'd be supportive.
So that's what I'm going to do.
Oh, in other news, I spoke to Harris's new Brit beau . Sweet guy. If he lived in the states, in pretty sure I'd be friends with him. Robert something. Very classic brit.
Eitherway, I'm cool with it.
I'm going to go now. Bye.
Teardrop is the theme from House, I can't stop listening to it. Prayer of the Refugee Is a song by Rise Against. I love that song.
Either way, see you all on the outside.
[disclaimer]~ I don't mean to offend anyone with what I say here. Talk to you all soon.
*edit: my actual groupings in the dharma are....pandora, polyphemus, antaeus, cronus, aether, hestia, white swan. thats right, i didnt cheat. I was totally honest. heh.
P.S.: I am no longer engaged. It got complicated, and he beat me to it. He didnt want me waiting around with nothing to go on. Wasn't fair to me, he said. Its okay though. Gives me time to really focus on the bigger things in life. Like the remnants of my high school drama that won't leave my head. Oh, and psychics have been following me. Everytime I pass one, theyre either telling me I'm special and have a good aura, or that bad people are around me, and they charge to tell me how to rid my life of it. I havent paid. Ill find this mole myself. If they really cared about me and my fertile psychic aura, theyll analyze me for free, just so they have credit in unlocking my potential. Oh well. Screw that.
Whatever, hope you guys enjoy hearing from me.
Well, I've learned something about myself. I think I'm depressed. I'm always sad, it appears I'm pickjg fights with everyone I care about, and on top of it all, not even MCR has cleared the clouds. On the upside, I'm integrating back into church. I'm teaching three and four year olds about the Bible. Apparently, kids love me. Little kids, specifically. I may consider becoming a teacher, if this acting thing doesn't work. Speaking of acting, Harris provided me with audition info. The show is called Rooftop, and it's a sci-fi show about a pop star with big dreams. I know a kindly alien is involved. It seems sweet. They have yet to call me. Oh well.
I've been watching House religiously. Either this is my brain subconsciously telling me that things could be much worse, or it's telling me that hey, at least I'm not oozing waste out of my mouth, or suffering from a gluten intolerance that results in me killing my infant son. Lost, however, still rocks.
Speaking of Lost, I joined the Dharma Initiative today. I took all the tests and I have been officially classified.
Here is my groupings:
Pandora, Polyphemus are the first two, I forgot the third, the fourth is cronus, the fifth was similar sounding to the third, the sixth was hestia. Apparently I'm gonna be a dharma medic. I did some research, and apparently hestia means medicine. I got all these questions about medicine anyway. In real life, that would never be me. At least I get to go outside the box in Dharma world. If only I could now.
You ever feel like your pushing everybody away?
And the saddest part is that everybodys leaving no matter what I do. So I've gotta figure out how to say goodbye to everyone. Rory hates the commute, that's understandable, as long as we stay in contact, if she's happy away, I can live with that.
I found out maybe a week ago that Sheets might go too. And for some reason we've been fighting for no reason, it comes up, and he's all like thank god I'm leaving. I guess his leaving is his business, and there's nothing I can say about it. But now I feel like an idiot. See, my mom revealed an indiscretion on a friend of mine's part, and she named everything that's ever gone on, including a rumor that he still liked me, or did again. Naturally, i didn't believe a word (one doesn't lose her faith in humanity by trusting them blindly), so i chased the rumor down to the source and they said it was true. So I decided to talk to him. Single most embarrasing conversation of my life, even though I was expecting nothing. I vowed not to expect anything, I don't need the drama of a second time through all this. Well, anyway, i tell him i know, and he says to see where it goes later on. Which wasn't the worst I could have heard, but fickleness always strikes more than once I guess. Anyway, not too long ago I heard he may go too.
I don't want them to go, honestly. But that's selfish. They should go. I know how much Rory hates the commute. Nobody needs an hour and a half long train ride.
I miss Cleveland. Everything was simple. It didn't seem it then, but it was.
From the advice Harris gave me, I shouldn't care what they do. It's their lives. It's all I can do to not care, then. I guess all I can do I'd be supportive.
So that's what I'm going to do.
Oh, in other news, I spoke to Harris's new Brit beau . Sweet guy. If he lived in the states, in pretty sure I'd be friends with him. Robert something. Very classic brit.
Eitherway, I'm cool with it.
I'm going to go now. Bye.
Teardrop is the theme from House, I can't stop listening to it. Prayer of the Refugee Is a song by Rise Against. I love that song.
Either way, see you all on the outside.
[disclaimer]~ I don't mean to offend anyone with what I say here. Talk to you all soon.
*edit: my actual groupings in the dharma are....pandora, polyphemus, antaeus, cronus, aether, hestia, white swan. thats right, i didnt cheat. I was totally honest. heh.
P.S.: I am no longer engaged. It got complicated, and he beat me to it. He didnt want me waiting around with nothing to go on. Wasn't fair to me, he said. Its okay though. Gives me time to really focus on the bigger things in life. Like the remnants of my high school drama that won't leave my head. Oh, and psychics have been following me. Everytime I pass one, theyre either telling me I'm special and have a good aura, or that bad people are around me, and they charge to tell me how to rid my life of it. I havent paid. Ill find this mole myself. If they really cared about me and my fertile psychic aura, theyll analyze me for free, just so they have credit in unlocking my potential. Oh well. Screw that.
Whatever, hope you guys enjoy hearing from me.
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