About this whole situation, I'm actually feeling better. I talked to the remnants of the group today mostly, and I think this whole thing could have blown over. Hopefully, I can still call myself a part of the splintered group, and my friends can trust me and things will get to be as normal as they cam possibly be with the group dead, and part of it out of state and the rest of it breaking out of it too.
Maybe that's why I got so sad. Maybe I thought I'd be all alone over here. If that happens, so be it at this point. I'd want them to be happy. I know I'm not leaving the city for anyone, why should they stay using the opposite logic?
Yay, I'm being mature and understanding.
Anyway, I gave everyone the Dharma link. Nobody's told me their groupings yet. If I've given you the site already, there's no time, its only good till the 7th. heres the link.
www.dharmawantsyou.com
Enjoy.
Anyway, I passed out the Sawyer nickname test too. I think it's random, as I've done it like three times and I got three different things, but I'm gonna go with the first one. Little Bo Peep. I think Sawyer could have called me that. Who knows?
Harris is Pud, Sheets is either Truckstop or Chico. I don't know what he's deciding to let the fictional character call him. Oh well. The rest could simply let me know later, I'll add you to this paragraph.
I'm not sure whether to just let bygones be bygones or to let the grudge eat me alive. I don't need that drama. (Everytime I say that, however, drama ensues. Maybe I should avoid those words. Nobody ever needs drama, it comes to you. And if you can't take the lesson it offers simply because you don't think you need it, then perhaps a decent chance has passed you by. Pain can let in some of the best people you'll ever meet.)
Now, let me start that paragraph over, with my newfound epiphany. (God, I wish I hadn't already used that title. Let's try ... realization.)
I'm not sure whether to just let bygones be bygones or to let the grudge eat me alive. I'm of two minds about this. On the one hand, why let go of one of the best friends that I've ever had? On the other hand, the good and the bad is almost even, considering I'm way more twisted than I was before, no matter how over this I ever was. And I know I was over this. One does not go through two guys in four monhs if they're over someone. (God, now I feel like I'm a little loose. I'm not loose, people. Maybe I'm just damaged.) I don't need the double dose of pain. (I've already experienced this drama, I can say that. Double jeopardy is illegal in law, and it should be illegal in life.)
Maybe I'm reading too much into this whole shebang. I think I should just wrap this. I don't even know if it's worth it now. It's clear, the group is splintering further with his and Rory's theoretical leaving. Why should I add more strings that are going to need to be cut anyway? I've already learned long distance is very hard. (Granted, that was a very special case. Other than the revelations, the ex-boyfriends, and the theoretical crimes, I could handle the pressures of long distance. The benefits of space, plus, my occasional clingyness would be welcomes, as they never see me. When you never see someone, it's easy to forget what pisses you off about them. Damn, I'm such a cynic.)
I'm gonna be so tired tomorrow. I've got a history test I'm not nearly prepared for. But, its history. The Mongols, and I pay attention. It can't be too hard. I'll let you all know, I guess.
Thanks, everyone, for listening to my revelations, realizations, and cynicism. I love you all, dear readers, and I shall send you all a fruit bouquet. You know, the pineapple flowers and stuff?
Well, I'm gone. Forensic Files. Did you know about the Zodiac Killer, anyone? He killed two Tauruses. Maybe the astrology thing was just dumb luck. Speaking of luck, Aquarians weren't touched. Go us.
LOL. Bye, everyone. Enjoy.
P.S: Happy birthday to my dad, Natalia from junior high and Macaulay Honors Queens, and Arielle from junior high. Libras. The Zodiac got a Libra. And two Taurus', a Scorpio, a Gemini, a Cancer (I think the Cancer was a homeless guy.) and I think a Virgo. That bites for all of them. I think Aries, Aquarius, Saggitarius, and a few others were safe. So mazeltov to Rory, Liza, and myself. The New York Zodiac would have left us alone at the time being if Orion and the Seven Sisters were not visible. Why am I quoting this? Maybe my mom's right. MAybe we do need counseling. Perhaps I can tun it into a personal therapy session, as long as I avoid family sessions. I think this can be done. Heh.
PPS: They called Harris back. Congrats to him. They didn't call me, but maybe they couldn't read my handwriting. Either way, oh well. I wouldn't have been able to miss school anyway. Maybe I could just go to med school. Perform in operating theaters instead of Broadway ones. (House fever, don't listen to me.) Heh. Bye.
UPDATE: Scratch that. Totally not ready. Studying now. If somebody can be of assistance? Thanks.
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