i have no real idea why, but i just came up with the weirdest idea...to help get over charlie being dead, and to work out some of the kinks in my writing...a fanfiction, but not just any fanfiction...a CROSSOVER fanfiction...i always said id never write one of those, but i think itll help...i have this idea...the lost characters meet the RENT characters in this humorous therapy session where everybody yells at each other...its the addicts versus the sober people...if i can work in LotR or another musical itll be cool 2...hitchhikers and PotC would be pushing it...ill tell sheets about this when i see him...im pretty sure he would wanna help me with it...
if anything, if i get too many ideas, ill start another blog or something...
thatll be fun...
anyhoo...i feel like writing...i have no idea why...im suffering from writers block on the book me and sheets are working on, and either way, i dont have the thing on me...any and all original plot concepts coming from me are crap...either absolute crap or a shameless rip off of something else...and i wouldnt wanna write a shameless rip off...lol
i wish i could put my ideas down somewhere safe, at least the literary ones...like ive had a bunch of ideas for the book, but i forget them...plus, its the future of the book...i cant come p with a decent chpter seven...sheets has the book maybe i can read what he has, and i have been so looking forward to that chapter...
i can do a decent character design if anything...i should go do that...
illl edit this post later...byers...its 4 in the morning ud figure id be sleeping.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
hey guys...never actually said merry christmas to you all...merry christmas...
currently at ginies house, watching the funniest commercial thing they have on tivo...the funniest one is this squirrel farting thing from the united kingdom advertising icy gum...i thought the kevin federline thing where he was watching himselfrap while working at a fast food joint was the funniest..that and the beer commercial in which they pick up axe murderers and chainsaw people because they have beer...
now we are all trying to help create a baby that could win the baby new year tounament on the wii...the baby came out pretty nicely...
ginie, without meaning to, picked a fight with sheets...he was trying to help with the wii, and ginie was a bit less receptive to the help than she shouldve been i guess...
anyhoo...now im watching them shop for wii things on the wii...they bought the photo channel...i might get ginie wii points for her birthday lol...that way she can get cool old games and stuff...i should get sheets that too...ill find out when sammys birthday is and get it for them...
i want a wii too...if only i had time to play one...if only my family didnt think i was too old for video games...they have no problem with the guys in their late twenties playing them, but when it comes to teenage girls, then no its taboo...double standards anyone...anyhoo...
i really want a psp...really really badly...it may be prehistoric in comparison to other gaming systems, but i love them, and i dont know where mine is, and i could just get one of those, i be really happy, and i wouldnt need another gaming system...i hate consoles anyway, i like things that i can hold in my hand and take with me, ala the psp and the ds...he wii and the ps2 and the xbox arent so bad either, but u cant walk around with those inconspicously...
idk what im doing for new years...i wanna hang out with my friends, but something tells me i wont be able to..
hang on
justplayed wii bowling...143...coolness...
kk bye
currently at ginies house, watching the funniest commercial thing they have on tivo...the funniest one is this squirrel farting thing from the united kingdom advertising icy gum...i thought the kevin federline thing where he was watching himselfrap while working at a fast food joint was the funniest..that and the beer commercial in which they pick up axe murderers and chainsaw people because they have beer...
now we are all trying to help create a baby that could win the baby new year tounament on the wii...the baby came out pretty nicely...
ginie, without meaning to, picked a fight with sheets...he was trying to help with the wii, and ginie was a bit less receptive to the help than she shouldve been i guess...
anyhoo...now im watching them shop for wii things on the wii...they bought the photo channel...i might get ginie wii points for her birthday lol...that way she can get cool old games and stuff...i should get sheets that too...ill find out when sammys birthday is and get it for them...
i want a wii too...if only i had time to play one...if only my family didnt think i was too old for video games...they have no problem with the guys in their late twenties playing them, but when it comes to teenage girls, then no its taboo...double standards anyone...anyhoo...
i really want a psp...really really badly...it may be prehistoric in comparison to other gaming systems, but i love them, and i dont know where mine is, and i could just get one of those, i be really happy, and i wouldnt need another gaming system...i hate consoles anyway, i like things that i can hold in my hand and take with me, ala the psp and the ds...he wii and the ps2 and the xbox arent so bad either, but u cant walk around with those inconspicously...
idk what im doing for new years...i wanna hang out with my friends, but something tells me i wont be able to..
hang on
justplayed wii bowling...143...coolness...
kk bye
Thursday, December 27, 2007
You All Everybody
i am so sad
first, let me start with my christmas, which is connected to why i am sad...its not that bad, nobodys dying...(bursts into tears)
charlie on lost is dead...the title of this blog is the song that his band sings...
"you all everybody, you all everybody
acting like there stupid people wearing expensive clothes"
thats the only lyric they play...but whtever its still very very sad to me...
he drowns saving everybody...he clears up a transmission jam, which involves him getting drownded...they said theyd never kill him off...the spoiler people and the writers lied to me...they killed off my favorite hobbit...my LOTR loyalty has sprung up again...i so wish i had the time to be totally loyal as i was before...stupd apps...which should be getting done today...
well, turns out the rescuers arent who they say they are, and they never would of had proof of that had charlie not written on his hand with a sharpie marker to get the message out to desmond...he didnt need to die...allhe needed to do was close the door on the other side...and he woulda been fine...they woulda made it ...but stupid desmond telling him he was gonna die for like half the season, of course hed sacrifice himself...now claires gonna be all sad when she finds out...
idk why they cut him...perhaps they thought theyd developed him enough...maybe his death will lead to claire being developed more...that would be good...im still sad tho...he was a rockstar...albiet a drug addicted one...but whatever...
the sad thing is...im sad, and no one cares...just cuz lost is a bit hard to follow, nobody really watches it, and nobody cares when im nearly in tears from grief...even if it is a very dumb thing to cry over...hey, u guys cried over rent, i deserve to grieve as well...if u guys wanted to grienve over a character uve followed since u started high school dies...idso be there for ya...
oh well...i have checked online...none on why charlie died...maybe a new job or something, but im sure hes dead as a doornail, and its a bit essential to the plot...as he essentially paved the way for these people called freighters (they were on a frieghter boat) who are giving them rescue...some are leaving and some are staying...as far as the world knows, kate and jack leave, but jack kinda spirals down into oblivion and vicodin addiction...doctor on vicodin...like we havent heard that before...lol...i think hurley is leaving too, and if sun and jin dont leave ill be mad, considering sun is pregnant...
well, considering my friends dont care about this show...imma stop talking about it...it would take days to explain anyway...oh well...
RIP Charlie
byers
first, let me start with my christmas, which is connected to why i am sad...its not that bad, nobodys dying...(bursts into tears)
charlie on lost is dead...the title of this blog is the song that his band sings...
"you all everybody, you all everybody
acting like there stupid people wearing expensive clothes"
thats the only lyric they play...but whtever its still very very sad to me...
he drowns saving everybody...he clears up a transmission jam, which involves him getting drownded...they said theyd never kill him off...the spoiler people and the writers lied to me...they killed off my favorite hobbit...my LOTR loyalty has sprung up again...i so wish i had the time to be totally loyal as i was before...stupd apps...which should be getting done today...
well, turns out the rescuers arent who they say they are, and they never would of had proof of that had charlie not written on his hand with a sharpie marker to get the message out to desmond...he didnt need to die...allhe needed to do was close the door on the other side...and he woulda been fine...they woulda made it ...but stupid desmond telling him he was gonna die for like half the season, of course hed sacrifice himself...now claires gonna be all sad when she finds out...
idk why they cut him...perhaps they thought theyd developed him enough...maybe his death will lead to claire being developed more...that would be good...im still sad tho...he was a rockstar...albiet a drug addicted one...but whatever...
the sad thing is...im sad, and no one cares...just cuz lost is a bit hard to follow, nobody really watches it, and nobody cares when im nearly in tears from grief...even if it is a very dumb thing to cry over...hey, u guys cried over rent, i deserve to grieve as well...if u guys wanted to grienve over a character uve followed since u started high school dies...idso be there for ya...
oh well...i have checked online...none on why charlie died...maybe a new job or something, but im sure hes dead as a doornail, and its a bit essential to the plot...as he essentially paved the way for these people called freighters (they were on a frieghter boat) who are giving them rescue...some are leaving and some are staying...as far as the world knows, kate and jack leave, but jack kinda spirals down into oblivion and vicodin addiction...doctor on vicodin...like we havent heard that before...lol...i think hurley is leaving too, and if sun and jin dont leave ill be mad, considering sun is pregnant...
well, considering my friends dont care about this show...imma stop talking about it...it would take days to explain anyway...oh well...
RIP Charlie
byers
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
One Song Glory
hey...play season is just around the corner...the hapiest time of the year for me is being wrecked by my chorus teacher, a sophomore, and some very disloyal auditioners,not to mention the man pixking west side story
apparently, harris, rori, and I are unworthy of the parts we want because of our specific idiosyncracies, and the fact that she wants her sophomore, her lackey...to get maria...leaving some perfectly deserving senios out in the cold.
according to ms taskova...harris cant get tony because hes too short for the part (meanwhile hes taller than me, so if i get maria, the part i want, thats not an issue, but knowing my luck...)...my theory is that her pick for maria, liza rivera, happens to be taller than he is...and taskova wont have the untraditional look of a girl taller than a guy...
im not sure why i couldnt get it..im puerto rican, i look ethnic...maybe liza the sophomore simply got there first...whe i asked taskova about casting, and she asked me what i was trying out for...i said maria (prolly with a little more sttitude than i meant to...i really was playing nicely...)...she immeadiately directed me to the next part, anita...which still isnt bad, but annelis is angling for it...she was in pippin two years ago...she already graduated...which isnt right give us a chance...
rori's little review was the worst...which surprised me, taskovas always liked her better. she told taskova she wanted maria, like i did (im so not getting it)...the range is perfect for her, and taskova made a note to tell her this....but then she made it clear to her that rori's extraction will prevent her from getting the part she can do (and actually deserves)...in short? rori's too white to play a just off the plane puerto rican complete with accent (she can do it, too, her brit is pretty good, i can imagine her spanish accent is up to par too)...we were LIVID...
needless to say...we arent too happy...i asked about sheets todaqy too...she didnt say anything at all..not ure what that means...but sheets, ur like the best actor i know, and if you think anything different, u really shouldnt.
rori consulted annelis...annelis agreed...if i were closer to her, id yell at her so much it isnt funny...i know rori and them all are close to her and im kinda not, but DAMN...
well, considering the origin of how west side story is being done in the first place...it was picked as a way todraw in hispanics....please...im hispanic and i hae this show...ive asked other hispanics and they hate this show...
anyhoo...thats it...oh and me and sheets are writing again...we got another book and were planning before we write...
bye
this is our last chance to show what we got....i hope we get to keep it...
apparently, harris, rori, and I are unworthy of the parts we want because of our specific idiosyncracies, and the fact that she wants her sophomore, her lackey...to get maria...leaving some perfectly deserving senios out in the cold.
according to ms taskova...harris cant get tony because hes too short for the part (meanwhile hes taller than me, so if i get maria, the part i want, thats not an issue, but knowing my luck...)...my theory is that her pick for maria, liza rivera, happens to be taller than he is...and taskova wont have the untraditional look of a girl taller than a guy...
im not sure why i couldnt get it..im puerto rican, i look ethnic...maybe liza the sophomore simply got there first...whe i asked taskova about casting, and she asked me what i was trying out for...i said maria (prolly with a little more sttitude than i meant to...i really was playing nicely...)...she immeadiately directed me to the next part, anita...which still isnt bad, but annelis is angling for it...she was in pippin two years ago...she already graduated...which isnt right give us a chance...
rori's little review was the worst...which surprised me, taskovas always liked her better. she told taskova she wanted maria, like i did (im so not getting it)...the range is perfect for her, and taskova made a note to tell her this....but then she made it clear to her that rori's extraction will prevent her from getting the part she can do (and actually deserves)...in short? rori's too white to play a just off the plane puerto rican complete with accent (she can do it, too, her brit is pretty good, i can imagine her spanish accent is up to par too)...we were LIVID...
needless to say...we arent too happy...i asked about sheets todaqy too...she didnt say anything at all..not ure what that means...but sheets, ur like the best actor i know, and if you think anything different, u really shouldnt.
rori consulted annelis...annelis agreed...if i were closer to her, id yell at her so much it isnt funny...i know rori and them all are close to her and im kinda not, but DAMN...
well, considering the origin of how west side story is being done in the first place...it was picked as a way todraw in hispanics....please...im hispanic and i hae this show...ive asked other hispanics and they hate this show...
anyhoo...thats it...oh and me and sheets are writing again...we got another book and were planning before we write...
bye
this is our last chance to show what we got....i hope we get to keep it...
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Complicated
entering day two of the big giant fight....my e still isnt working too well...still depressed...can probably predict correctly that he either isnt depressed or that he simply doesnt giv a crap what i think about anything....
i wonder what id tell somebody in this situation...judging by my very pessimistic outlook on relationships,id prolly tell hr to maybe to let him go, cuz h doesnt rspecct whatyou say, and no matter what anybody tells you, you feel that way for a reason, and that reason should be respected...
woul i heed my own advice?
on the one hand, he doesnt seem to see that my opinion means something to me, that my stubbornness tends to have a method to it, that it makes sense to me...he didnt wanna see me on my anniversary, because he fears drama...ironically, hes in the drama club...thats rich....lol...on top of that, he confirmed everything i thought about myself during that weird physicality stage...that i was boring and despite everything he told me, i was horrible at everything, which was all his idea to begin with...does that make sense to me?
(now my e is fixed, but my d isnt doing too well)
on the other hand...i love him...thats all i can really say about it...and never before have i doubted the reciprocation more than i have right now...
i practically cried myself to sleep yesterday...is that sad? do i make what he says more important than it should be? if thats true, then why do i care so much? why does what he says hurt me so much?
u know, rori and sheets realized it was coming...but they didnt wanna tell me cuz they figured i was actually having fun on my anniversary...then when tht horrible comment came out...an i started reasoning with sheets, he told me (according to him, harris doesnt trust him anymore...sry sheets)
then we got to sheets house...where steve got there...steves a freaking instigator but hes coolness...
then my dad came to pick me up, an harris barely said goodbye to me (come to think ofit that makes sense,considering he didnt wanna see me in the first place...)
im an idiot...a long suffering idiot...but why couldnt he tell me he didnt wanna see me? i was gonna go driving yesterday...why the hell wouldnt he just tell me that? i woulda been sad, but not nearly this bad...cuz i was gonna go behind a wheel...and drive on the sidewalk again...
hes made an art of making me cry my eyes out...
the questiion is how much can i take of being pulled in, then pushed away...how much more am i willing to endure to be with a guy i love...
well if he breaks up with me, he better do it in person...all i have to say on that...
does love negate mistreatment?
not that he hits me or anything lol...its just torture, the things he says sometimes...why is it always my fault?
i know im not getting answers to these questions...
its freakin pointless isnt it?
oh well
i wonder what id tell somebody in this situation...judging by my very pessimistic outlook on relationships,id prolly tell hr to maybe to let him go, cuz h doesnt rspecct whatyou say, and no matter what anybody tells you, you feel that way for a reason, and that reason should be respected...
woul i heed my own advice?
on the one hand, he doesnt seem to see that my opinion means something to me, that my stubbornness tends to have a method to it, that it makes sense to me...he didnt wanna see me on my anniversary, because he fears drama...ironically, hes in the drama club...thats rich....lol...on top of that, he confirmed everything i thought about myself during that weird physicality stage...that i was boring and despite everything he told me, i was horrible at everything, which was all his idea to begin with...does that make sense to me?
(now my e is fixed, but my d isnt doing too well)
on the other hand...i love him...thats all i can really say about it...and never before have i doubted the reciprocation more than i have right now...
i practically cried myself to sleep yesterday...is that sad? do i make what he says more important than it should be? if thats true, then why do i care so much? why does what he says hurt me so much?
u know, rori and sheets realized it was coming...but they didnt wanna tell me cuz they figured i was actually having fun on my anniversary...then when tht horrible comment came out...an i started reasoning with sheets, he told me (according to him, harris doesnt trust him anymore...sry sheets)
then we got to sheets house...where steve got there...steves a freaking instigator but hes coolness...
then my dad came to pick me up, an harris barely said goodbye to me (come to think ofit that makes sense,considering he didnt wanna see me in the first place...)
im an idiot...a long suffering idiot...but why couldnt he tell me he didnt wanna see me? i was gonna go driving yesterday...why the hell wouldnt he just tell me that? i woulda been sad, but not nearly this bad...cuz i was gonna go behind a wheel...and drive on the sidewalk again...
hes made an art of making me cry my eyes out...
the questiion is how much can i take of being pulled in, then pushed away...how much more am i willing to endure to be with a guy i love...
well if he breaks up with me, he better do it in person...all i have to say on that...
does love negate mistreatment?
not that he hits me or anything lol...its just torture, the things he says sometimes...why is it always my fault?
i know im not getting answers to these questions...
its freakin pointless isnt it?
oh well
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Hurt / Break Down!
hey...happy nine month anniversary to me! (btw my e isnt working too well today bear with my typing...
well, it wasnt such a happy anniversary com to think of it...considering the guy i love didnt wanna see me today, and all the crap we did over the summer...believe me you dont wanna know...i was apparently horrible at it...all of it...he wasnt too specific on that point but i do believe he meant absolutly awful...and that hurt to no degree...
the horrible thing he took right to my face...th not wanting to see me thiing cam from sheets...damn hes been the best friend ever lately...well anyhow...since i found out harris hasnt spoken to me since...which hurts more...the waiting for a responce to all of this...
idk what to do anymore...i love harris with most everything i have...but i dont think its enough anymore...
how much do you give before you break?
how much can i tak before he hurts me to a point when i might not b able to forgive him for it?
and most importantly
how much does he hate and blame me?
well, it wasnt such a happy anniversary com to think of it...considering the guy i love didnt wanna see me today, and all the crap we did over the summer...believe me you dont wanna know...i was apparently horrible at it...all of it...he wasnt too specific on that point but i do believe he meant absolutly awful...and that hurt to no degree...
the horrible thing he took right to my face...th not wanting to see me thiing cam from sheets...damn hes been the best friend ever lately...well anyhow...since i found out harris hasnt spoken to me since...which hurts more...the waiting for a responce to all of this...
idk what to do anymore...i love harris with most everything i have...but i dont think its enough anymore...
how much do you give before you break?
how much can i tak before he hurts me to a point when i might not b able to forgive him for it?
and most importantly
how much does he hate and blame me?
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
I Need You To Love Me / Tourniquet
you know, the one thing that hits my heart in a good way that, oh idk, actually works (at least with my boyfriend, no other guy better do this...) is a better than decent kiss...im realizing this more and more...im coming to terms with the fact that maybe i need lots and lots of hugs and crap...
oh and sorry for taking so long, college applications are driving me crazy...i applied to cuny honors and the kings college, now i need suny purchase, harvard, wellesley, nyu tisch, adelphi, and st. lawrence...
just read sheets' blog...after a very long talk with him, i am really starting to worry about him...he puts on this smile, but he never seems happy...not even rent does it anymore...he just seems really down...and hes worrying me a lot...he finally told me whats been bothering him...and i wont disclose it here, thats his business...but seriously...i really want him to be happy, and right now, he seems like hes anything but...i hope he gets better soon, and that he would be able to smle without it having anything to do with the ever breaking mask...
me nd harris had our first fight in a while today...its over now, refuse to rehash...
i miss how me and harris were before...the way we used to be...i was way more naive, and he was a bit more..i wont go there...but it was nice...now schools started, and were both busy i guess...and its worrisome when you spend more time with ur boyfriend, but not talking to him than you do actually talking to him...its nearly frightening...i just want it the way it used to be...
well, maybe life cant be as it was...maybe, just maybe, i gotta let go of this crap, deal wiht the fact that we all grow up and drift and stuff...i guess sometimes i kinda wanna go back to the way things were...i hope, but it prolly wont happen...so im just going to let this one go...
i hope sheets is okay...
bye everyone
oh and sorry for taking so long, college applications are driving me crazy...i applied to cuny honors and the kings college, now i need suny purchase, harvard, wellesley, nyu tisch, adelphi, and st. lawrence...
just read sheets' blog...after a very long talk with him, i am really starting to worry about him...he puts on this smile, but he never seems happy...not even rent does it anymore...he just seems really down...and hes worrying me a lot...he finally told me whats been bothering him...and i wont disclose it here, thats his business...but seriously...i really want him to be happy, and right now, he seems like hes anything but...i hope he gets better soon, and that he would be able to smle without it having anything to do with the ever breaking mask...
me nd harris had our first fight in a while today...its over now, refuse to rehash...
i miss how me and harris were before...the way we used to be...i was way more naive, and he was a bit more..i wont go there...but it was nice...now schools started, and were both busy i guess...and its worrisome when you spend more time with ur boyfriend, but not talking to him than you do actually talking to him...its nearly frightening...i just want it the way it used to be...
well, maybe life cant be as it was...maybe, just maybe, i gotta let go of this crap, deal wiht the fact that we all grow up and drift and stuff...i guess sometimes i kinda wanna go back to the way things were...i hope, but it prolly wont happen...so im just going to let this one go...
i hope sheets is okay...
bye everyone
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