Across The Universe

this title is on account of the song and the movie i just came back from, called Across The Universe. really good movie, but rather trippy, cuz the characters were high for awhile which turned things into loopy tiedye technicolor...which is fun but headache causing...who knew that the beatles were that good? lol im kidding of course i know there good there classics lol...

anyhoo, i am at ginies house and i am bothering her while she is watching saw 3...its kinda interesting in spite of itself...despite the actors inability to excel at their craft (and ginie remarking on my lack of acting skill...which hurt btw) , the writing happens to be pretty good, albiet played out and cheesy...i give jigsaw his props however, it takes a true morbid genius to figure out that many ways to manipulate a person and then watch them brutally slay themselves...

i wonder if jigsaw would end upchoosing me for his odd killing experiment...i wonder if i appreciate life sometimes...i think i do...i know i have a lot to appreciate even though sometimes i may not be so vocal about it...

which brings me to my concern as of right now...jimmy went missing awhile ago and just recently trned up...at least in my eyes i haadnt seen him for awhile and i saw him yesterday so i know hes alive which is always good...

sheets sometimes asks me if i still like jimmy like that...i can say no to that, of course i can say no to that, bu sometimes it fells like he was one of the few who actually gave two shyts about my opinion and didnt think i was stupid or push me into a world i know i wasnt ready for...maybe im still not ready for it...

oh, that reminds me...harris...interesting boy, that one is...one minute hes tired and bleh, the next hes the life of clover and leaping onto tall buildings in a single bound...i understand morning fatigue and not being a morning person (i learned that the hard way..btw, when a guy isnt a morning person, poking them isnt what does the trick for them lol) but theres a line between being tired and being annoyed with me, and somehow i kinda see that line blurring...i dont think im a boring person, and i hate that im made out to be annoying when ive spent most of my teenage life distancing myself from that reputation...i do what i can to give everyone their space, but somehow whenever i get further so do they but in my head that exactly what they want...like yesterday morning...the kid was so damn tired and all i wanted to do was leave him alone cuz he kept snipping at me, and the next thing i know steves pulling him out of class so i can take the senior couple photo (cliched i know so unlike me)...why the hell? i mean it woulda been fun but i dont think anybodys heart was really in it...is really in it...rori had this theory that harris is just trying to show off his relationship (im nothing worth showing off for, but that another story)...idk about that actually...whatever his motives may be apparently im just along for the ride...a bumpy one for sure...but this kid deluded my head with optimism and i wanna see the optimism as far as it can go...i wanna have no regrets when i look back on this...even though i believe i have several reasons to feel guilty, i dont think ive ever been so happy in the midst of the guilt before...cuz no matter what ive dealt with, i still love the dude and theres nothing i can really do about it as of right now...

well, when we really think about it...maybe living really is easy with eyes closed, all we need is love, and we all live in a big giant yellow submarine...think about it...we all go through all this crap that were prolly gonna end up laughing about later in the midst of bigger turd piles...i kinda want things back the way they were before...but not really, because had they stayed the same i wouldnt be the person i am right now...

onto lighter discussion...took the SAT...AGAIN...and onto the best news ever...

I MADE OPENS!!!! YAY!!!!

lol...anyhoo...mma go now...ginies movies about to end and i feel like going on AIM...byebye