I have GOT to get in touch with my LOTR fan ness. So I found the world's hardest LOTR knowledge quiz. Hopefully this makes me feel a little better.
Beginning Questions
1. Just exactly what was the nature of the friendship between Gimli and Legolas?
Strictly friendship. Even if the nature of their friendship had gone further than that, which I'm sure it didn't, I'm sure Legolas and/or Gimli would have waited until the war was over, so they could go about it properly. A moonlit walk through Lorien or Moria, perhaps. (The only reason I went this route was because I know a lot of ay guys and I wanted to get the gay jokes out now, to shut up all the non-LOTR fans who read this.)
2. If Aragorn had the option, would he have ditched the Fellowship for a date with Pamela Anderson?
I think he wouldn't have. Pamela Anderson is married, and not very pretty anyway.
3. Why didn't Gandalf just blow up the armies that got in his way, if he was so powerful?
He's very low key, plain and simple.
4. How many times is the word "passed" used in LotR? (No peeking!)
Passed, in past, present or future?
5. What exactly was in lembas? (Hint: in Letters #210, JRRT says quite explicitly that lembas is not a "food concentrate".)
The Pop Tarts of Middle Earth. That is what Lembas is, the Pop Tarts of Middle Earth. The Fellowship needed a nutritious food that tasted good, so the Elves decided to supply them with their Pop Tarts. Eventually, they're going to come up with Middle Earth Hot Pockets.
6. Why didn't the hobbits in the Shire rise against Sharkey and his men sooner? (Were Frodo, Sam and the lads a cut above hobbitdom and thus extraordinary?)
They didn't have the resources, as the Shire was filled with peace loving people, and they wouldn't know how to take down Sharkey. They needed the push.
7. If Aragorn truly spent uncounted years as a lone Ranger, then where the hell is Tonto? And why doesn't he wear that mask?
He wasn't a lone Ranger. He had comrades and stuff, so he wasn't really alone. His many aliases were a mask in their own way.
8. If Frodo hung the Ring on a chain, why didn't the chain turn invisible?
Because the Ring needs a person or like a finger to work. No finger, no power.
9. When Isildur had control of the One Ring, why didn't he use it to command the Ringwraiths? Or the Elven-rings? Or the Dwarven-rings? He could have ruled the whole of Middle-earth with that Ring, yet he decided instead to just write a couple of letters and then go for an unfortunate swim. What's his problem, anyway? Was he stupid?
He probably didn't know it could do all that. And he probably was stupid.
10. When Legolas introduces Gimli to Treebeard, Gimli bows low and his axe falls to the ground. Treebeard notices this, but merely comments "Hoom! A Dwarf and an axe-bearer!" rather than smash Gimli to Play-Doh™. Doubtless you've heard of the poem, "Woodsman, Spare That Tree!"; did Tolkien have plans to write another version, titled "Tree, Spare That Woodsman!"?
I have actually never heard of the poem, so...Treebeard was probably just feeling nice. As the oldest of all living things, he knows when soembody's a threat to his forest.
11. Why is the tale of Beren and Luthien subtitled "Release from Bondage", when we never even once get to see her tied up? (And I was really hoping, too.)
Because mortality and death is a sort of bondage.
12. And if, as is likely, a bacterium had landed on the inner surface of the Ring, would the Ring corrupt it into an evil bacterium? Would it be invisible to other bacteria? Would its' life stretch out and become an unending weariness? Would it use its' increased strength and stature to rule over other bacteria? Would it fight to keep other bacteria from adhering to the Ring? Would it still evolve genetically, or would it instead become a Bacteria-wraith?
The bacterium probably wouldn't care. Bacterium don't care if they're evil. Their lives are probably unending wearinesses anyway, being single cells and all.
13. When the Dwarves of beautiful Khazad-Dum built their Western door, why did they allow it to be inscribed with the insulting name of "Moria" ("Black Pit"), a name that would only be earned long years afterwards?
They don't know Elvish so if the Elves were feeling contrary, they could put whatever they wanted on that stinking door.
14. Reconcile Tom Bombadil's statement that he is "Eldest" with Gandalf's statement that Fangorn is "the oldest of all living things". Extra Credit: suggest a valid date of birth for each of them. Document your answers.
Eldest noirmally refers to humans. Treebeard isnt human, thus ruling him out for teh title of Eldest.
15. Aragorn states (Two Towers, p. 18 hardback) that Sauron never uses the name "Sauron", nor does he "permit it to be spelt or spoken". Reconcile this text with the text of Return of the King, p. 164 hardback, where the Lieutenant of Barad-Dur clearly states, "I am the Mouth of Sauron".
Well, that's his mouth. Sauron could say his name whenever he wants, and if the lieutenant's his mouth, the lieutenant can therefore say whatever he wants, but only as Sauron. If he says it seperate from Sauron, he probably has hell to pay. Granted, Sauron's thoughts were bent on the Ring, and he was pretty easily distracted by the armada outside, and if he could see all, he could probably see Aragorn's distraction meeting, which makes Sauron an idiot for not knowing what was happening. So really, it's all his fault, and he deserved to get his ring destroyed. Sauron's probably rode the special bus, like that kid on the special bus shirt.
16. Though Moria is, by rightful ownership, Dain's, Balin nonetheless referred to himself as "Lord of Moria". Helm's Deep is clearly the property of the Rohirrim, being part of lands granted to them by Gondor long years ago, yet in Return of the King p. 360 hardback Gimli declares himself "Lord of the Glittering Caves". Explain the laws and history pertaining to Dwarven property rights, and how those differed from the customs of Elves and Men. For full credit your answer must also reconcile Dwarven property laws with the generous nature of Aule, the Dwarves' creator.
Dwarves apparently don't have property laws, which explains Gimli taking caves undr Rohan's stronghold. Aule's principles are probably on a what's yours is mine basis. Not such a bad, idea, really.
17. How would the history of Middle-earth have differed if Sauron had returned to Aman and received the judgement of Manwe at the end of the First Age, rather than remaining in Middle-Earth (Silmarillion p. 285 hardback)? Describe resultant cultural differences which would have taken place in the Second, Third and Fourth Ages. Special emphasis should be given to the cultures of the Grey Havens, Numenor (including the Dunedain and the Black Numenoreans), the Rohirrim, the Dunlendings and others descending from the peoples of the White Mountains, the Ents, the peoples of Khand, the Orcs (particularly those tribes living in the Grey, Misty and Ash Mountains and the Mountains of Shadow), the Elven peoples of Gil-Galad (include Elrond and the likelihood of Rivendell's being constructed), the Hobbits (beginning from when they were living in the Vales of Anduin), and the Haradrim (both Near and Far Harad must be covered for full credit). Also speculate on the differences in culture which would take place in Aman as Sauron describes his experience with evil to the Valar, Maiar, and Eldar living there. On Silmarillion p. 65, it states that "Manwe was free from evil and could not comprehend it"; would he gain an understanding of evil from the experiences of Sauron? Be prepared to defend your answer.
Ummm....if Sauron had returned to Aman, the whole War of the RIng wouldn't have happened. Or Manwe would have done the same thing to Sauron that he did to Morgoth, because he couldn't comprehend evil, and he might have let Sauron go. Or maybe he ould have learned. This is the biggest "what if?" question ever, and it's nearly impossible to answer. For a LOTR fan quiz, we're a very sadistic bunch, aren't we?
~*~*~*~*~*~
Well, that's it. I was just bored.
1 comment:
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
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