Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom

Today is Jani's party.

Happy birthday, Jani. 

I found a kickass study abroad program that I am going to ask my mom and my guidance person about. 

Hopefully they cover it and my mom has no qualms about sending me to Romania for three weeks.

Whee.

I feel a little better about everything. I'm not hung up over waiting for an answer from anyone anymore. I know now to expect absolutely nothing from anyone that will get me hurt if I expect a lot and get nothing. I've got no issues with fighting with people that are wrong when I am right. 

Take my fight with Liza, which isn't really a fight. I know I didn't betray her, and I know that I tried to stay out of it. I also know that I'm not fake. I hope I'm not anyway. I believe that I'm not.

Also, take my fight with Jimmy. I know I didn't betray him by being friends with Liza, or admitting I liked Sheets, for that matter. I also know that I am not a little girl, and I don't need to ask permission to date anyone, or to like anyone, or to be friends with anyone, or anything of that sort. He's not my mom. I'm an adult and all, but she's my mom and due to that whole parental thing, for certain things, I do listen to her. Sometimes she is right, and sometimes she's okay. Like the time she let me drink. Hee. But to ask Jimmy like whatever I do causes him pain? I never meant to hurt him, and I've tried to make things up to him. I'm beginning to realize that nothing will ever make him get the fact that I have tried to do whatever I could to make things better. Short of becoming a nun, I don't see that happening. 

Now I'm kind of sad. 

The blog title is random, because this blog is random. And I needed to vent. And the fight with Jimmy and the what the hell about the whole relationship situation isn't something I want to talk about right now. Even though I've been dealing pretty well.

I don't want to be depressing any longer.