sheets said he had an answer...i get to either bevery happy or ery sad tomorrow...imma prepare for the worst...thaat prolly whats gonna happen anyway...i have a knack for that i guess....
the thing is either way im still gonna like him a lot...and itll suck that a guy i really really like wont give me another chance or anything...i hate this...not knowing...and i didnt wanna rush him, but sort of confiding in harris and his yelling doesnt help
i never meant to make him feel bad...if anything all i want is to encourage him and crap...i just end p saying the wrong thing all the time...i want him to give me another chance...but i guessi just have to realize that that may not happen...i have to make my peace with that, or im gonna end up shooting myself...i really do ike him though...and itl hurt if it doesnt wrk out but as log as hes happy, it may not be so bad for me...
i do have to be single for now tho...
the tihng is...i actually get nervous around him sometimes...even jealous a bit...not too much tho...
im afraid of what im gonna hear tomorrow...im afraid im gonna get hurt...cuz i stuck it out this long...and i screwed it up ith him, and i dont wanna screw it up again...i really like him, and i wanna get it right...
that is, if i get the chance...i dont think i will tho...and the sick thing is that i tried to become the person i was...the person he liked before i got screwed up by the guys before him...idk what im gonna hear tomorow, but i hope he gives me another chance...
hopefully ill get one...but considering ive hurt him so much, i dont deserve it...i prolly dont deserve a guy like sheets...i guess caring, sweet guys are out of my league now...
oh well...at least ive learned my lesson...never let a good guy slip through, cuz ull regret it eventually...
thats it for now...expect a big blog tomorrow...bye...
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